Mop-Up Nitro (cont)

-Kevin Nash, Lex Luger, and Elizabeth came out with Mysterio's mask....he who holds the booking sheets holds the fate of all humanity...alas...alas

-First, Nash said that there were rumors about Scott Hall engaging in foul play in order to win the US belt...then dropped the subject almost entirely...

-He told Rey Jr. to come on out and get his mask back because it didn't fit and Liz won't wear it....

-Rey Mysterio Jr. came out dressed in full desert camouflage...oooo, he's a real playa....Heenan made me smile when he suggested that Rey was wearing that outfit earlier today as he picked up litter along the highways for the Department of Corrections.

- Rey is sick of all this crap and offers to go at it with Nash right there and then...

-Nash has no problems with that.....but first he complimented Rey on "ripping off the No Limit Soldier's Air"....he got a genuine laugh from the crowd. I think even Tony had to turn off his mic to.....naaaahhh....I can't believe that Tony would be aware of ANY sort of 90's fashions......other than the now legendary "Dickies" line.

-by the way...Rey is a very handsome young man....very cute...ooooh....slurp

-They go at it...one knee and Rey goes down...

-Toss against the ropes...Rey flips around, leaps at Nash, Nash ducks....Rey dropkicks him in the gut, then kicks at his knees....then a side spin kick...Nash goes down...

-Springboard into a X-Factor....which is followed with a Bronco Buster...the camera is close enough to see Nash's mouth BURIED in Rey's crotch......ick.

-Nash caches Rey finally and drops his head on the turnbuckle...play time is over...Nash is pissed.

-HUGE hip throw across the ring...time for the Powerbomb...

-Up he goes...Rey starts punching at his head...Nash goes down....Rey hooks the leg...Pee Wee Anderson gives the FASTEST THREE COUNT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!! Rey WINS the MATCH!!!!!!!! Nash has jobbed out AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

-Nash is, of course, shocked...Rey is, of course jacked......good for him....good upset for Rey and very cool of Nash to let the kid take a clean win.....bloody hurrah!

-It's the new Konan video.....exactly who asked for this anyway?

-commercials

-Horace catched Norton and tells him who Hogan appointed as the Leader of the NWO B-team.....Norton is cool with it...Norton's tongue went to the phone to call Stamford about any job opportunities.

-Mean Gene talked to new tag champs Hennig and Windham....not much was said.

-Hey the WCW Website is BACK!!!!! And it's STILL the only wrestling web site that matters!!!!

-Norton is with Hogan...now Hogan makes HIM the leader of these idiots.....

-I can give you the long version...or the short version of this next match......you decide...

-Okay...I heard you loud and clear.....after much BS and a LOT of nonsense that has NO BUSINESS being in the third hour.......Norton destroyed Ernest Miller. When Miller starts giving ME free karate lessons, THEN I'll give him a proper recap.

-commercials

-Michael Buffer asked us if we were ready for this next match......I am.....I think.

-So, Buffer introduced Scott Steinburger and Goldstein. Steiner destroyed a polaroid on his way to the ring.

-Tony TOTALLY GAVE AWAY THE ENDING by announcing that this will NOT be for the TV belt. I want his daughter's toenails shoved up HIS ASS......how's THAT?

-Buff had something to say...yet, I am too wiped to pay attention. I'm sure it was witty, yet risqué.

-Goldberg came out......he didn't heal anybody because he sucks.....how "bout dem apples?

-Buffer's intro of Goldberg must have took at least 5 minutes...talk about overselling.

-say, did I miss that "Intervention"? What the hell happened? WERWE WE SCREWED OUT OF SOME BAD ACTING...AGAIN????????

-Two juiceheads going at it in the 90's..........yet it was MORE than enough for Tony to scream that this was the BEST NITRO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-commercials

-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Heenan, "Hey Steiner!! Goldberg's your hook up!!" I really think that one day, Schiavone, Heenan, and Tenay will lose all control and simply fellate the prick!

-Tony mentioned the "challenge heard "round the world on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno"...then said that it has so far gone unanswered...I guess WCW is under orders to ignore Howard Stern....must be Ted's orders...

-The fans chanted Goldberg...Heenan wanted to place a bet that MILLIONS of people all over the world are chanting "Goldberg" right smack dab in the middle of their living rooms..........

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-I...I...I think I'm going to cry......Bobby Heenan that we all remembered has officially DIED!!! This new.....shell of a man is currently working in his steed......in his body....WHO IS HE AND WHERE HAS HE BURIED THE REAL BRAIN?!?!?!?!!?

-I've had more than enough of this.....Goldberg won after Rick Steiner interfered and beat up his brother...I have no clue why The Jew wasn't DQ'ed..but he wasn't...I just don't know...I just don't care.

-commercials

-IS THIS THING OVER YET?????????????

-It's the Nitro Girls moving around in swimsuits.....interesting way to fight the RAW overun......I must say.

-I, of course....am more of a porno type of guy...this "artsy" thing does nothing for me...off I go...

-DINF is about ready to terrorize someone into that pirate telecast he was talking about earlier...right after these...

-commercials

-It's the Intervention....FINALLY!!!!!

-NO!!!! The NWO has PIRATED THE TELECAST!!!!!! NOW WE SEE...

-why am I yelling?

-now...we see David Flair with his head never more than two inches away from the blonde chick's chest.....he ain't no FAG!!!!

-Ah HA!! It's the NWO Parody again!!! DINF is Mean Gene, Nash is back as Arn Anderson,,,,a seemingly DRUNK Arn Anderson...who uses the tire iron to open his beer cans ("Is that not the best sound you ever heard?).

-Scott Hall is Roddy Piper....."I'm the Hot rod and I got called back because I got six kids!! I'm sick of you, and I'm disgusted with you! And you, you hussy...go back on the street corner where they found ya'!"

-Hogan is Flair......of course..he was the worse part of the bit...natch'

-I have no clue who Vincent was supposed to be.....Mongo maybe?

-This is almost saving the whole show ...except for Hogaaa...

-WAAIIIT a second....Hogan, "I'm so mad at David, I'm gonna take off my shoes. These shoes are about $3000 dollars...way more than what Uncle Arn drank last night!!!"

-Arn, "Dory Funk, the Briscos, a bunch of other people nobody remembers....."

-Then Hogan announced that the Nature Boy was in heat...then had a heart attack

-DINF Okerlund plugs the Hotline....one last gratuitous titty shot with that lucky little cherry.

Yeah....it saved it...KILLER stuff....even Hogan seemed particularly inspired. Nitro wins the night....oh...right..no Bischoff and no Kanyon, Nitro OWNS the night. Read the closer.....because it's a VERY important one.

Okay, I've stalled on this long enough. It's time to get this over with.....since it's the last time I do this, it's going to be lengthy....steel yourselves.

Sometimes.....I don't know.....I guess sometimes you just get tired. A sort of tired that 14 hours of straight sleep on a cloud can't overcome. It's when you're bones get weary down to the marrow. Not just with the physical aspect of the job, but the mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects as well.

It's a chore trying to entertain a crowd of people....to "get over" as it were. Especially when you try to introduce a new, often controversial way of going about your job. Your boss, helpful as he can be, also becomes afraid of what you are doing...afraid that while it may appeal to a certain number of people, will eventually bottom out in the end and hurt the company rather than help it grow. He tries to work with you, allowing you to work your best, but eventually feeling the need to change your attitude....to EDIT you into a more suitable employee for the direction of the company. You can bitch about it, argue, beg, plead, and throw tantrums....but in the long run...you realize that you are simply a cog in the machine...and you either work with the others or you get replaced.

At which point, you have to ask...is it worth it anymore? Is it worth the arguing? Is it sacrificing your dignity and your values for someone who couldn't do what you do if his life depended on it, yet seems to think that HE has all the answers and HE should be the one who puts you on a creative leash? You have to ask if you can live under a "gimmick" that is NOT yours? But rather the creation of another person? The answer, of courses NO...you can't. So you shake the man's hand...wish him luck...and go find your fortune somewhere else. No harm, no foul. You try to be professional.....trying not to "shoot" all over the place during your last go round...and just finish things up with a simple goodbye and thank you.

Of course, since your boss decides when and where you can say goodbye....he could be thank you for the effort you put into his company by allowing you to say goodbye on his forum....or he could keep you off "camera" as it were and edit you down until there are no signs of your name ANYWHERE in the company...as if you never existed. Fortunately, there are OTHER avenues that you can go...and OTHER people who will say goodbye for you...or who will at LEAST help give you a proper send off.

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(sniff)....sorry, I'm getting a little choked up here....it's very hard to say goodbye to someone who gave you so much......

So it didn't work out...it was a good try. We've had a good run and I was supplied with PLENTY of material because of it. It also helped cheer me up during depressing times....a feat that I'm sure many of you can appreciate. But time tells the tale and now....I must say goodbye.

Dan Severn and the WWF couldn't find that one vision to unite upon and reach that kind of magic that would make Severn somebody to love with the fans. In the beginning, Severn seemed to be death on two legs, a man on the prowl looking to inflict his special dragon attack on anyone Cornette wanted. He was a hitman in a suit and tie, careful to adjust said tie in the middle of his attack. A real cool cat who's body language indicated that he was a good ol' fashioned lover boy who wanted action this day and could give you a sheer heart attack with a mere flick of the wrist and send you headlong into the lap of the Gods. Were he a fag, he would certainly be a Killer Queen.....were he a deity, he would certainly be Jesus, were he a farm animal..he would certainly be Mad the Swine. Were he a vessel, he would certainly be Kashoogi's Ship...but I digress.

But then Severn went on his own, each match being an ogre battle that proved that he was not lazing on a Sunday afternoon with the love of my (or his) life during his days off. He worked hard, trying to play the game and make sure that another one bites the dust each time out. He definitely tried to fight from the inside, calling up all his power to perform each and every night. In a company where everyone is stone cold crazy, he never seemed under pressure and never succumbed to jealousy. Instead, his motto was let me entertain you and proceed to tear it up as his opponents fought and fought, but couldn't help but wait for Severn's hammer to fall. We all may be all God's people, but in the ring with Severn, we were a bunch of fat bottomed girls looking to get an ass whuppin'.

Alas, t'was not meant to be. The WWF wanted him to go one way, and Dan wanted to breakthru on his own. So they parted ways. So Dan, ride the wild wind on your own! Your matches were a Bohemian Rhapsody all to themselves, but in the cutthroat world of the WWF..it was not a fine blend. Dan, when you were in the ring, a nation banded with you, looked your opponent straight in the I and said "we WILL rock you!!!" And when you won, we would ALL stand proud and scream, "We ARE the champions!!"...my friend! You gave us one year of love...and we gave YOU....well...we tried not to ALL go to the bathroom at the same time....but some of us did drowse....sorry, but you WERE quite a bore.

Hell, if it wasn't for that friggin' mustache, I'd have ignored you completely. God..he sure DID look like Freddie Mercury didn't he?

See ya Big guy.....would it have killed ya to use a chair at least ONCE??? Jesus!

And that's it for me....I'm out of here

Who did YOU think I was saying goodbye to? You didn't think I was leaving did you?

Admit it...towards the end, I had you going didn't I....heh heh heh

You can all munch my fajita

This is Hyatte