WCW/NWO UNCENSORED ... by Chris Hyatte

Ever since STARRCADE, World Championship Wrestling has been loading their pay per views with promising matches from top to bottom. Even though one would hope that it's because of Eric Bischoff newfound commitment to giving fans what they want, it's probably more because we are in the midst of the WWF's most powerful Pay Per View months. With Wrestlemania barely two weeks away, WCW's plan to try to take some of the PPV audience away with a killer line up is in full effect. With a steel cage match, a world title defense, a rematch of the "Battle of the Giants", and a wild three way dance between three of the more crazy athletes in the promotion, WCW pulled out all the stops in delivering a viable alternative to the WWF's crown jewel. Unfortunately, WCW has this tendancy of falling way short of their match potential. Let's see if this is the case this time around. -Opening video collage. Dealing primarily with the friction between Hogan and Savage as well as Sting and Scott Hall. -Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan welcomed us to Mobile, Alabama. Heenan seemed to have a little frog in his throat. They wasted little time in getting to the action. FIRST MATCH: Eddie Guerrero vs Booker T. (WCW World Television Title Match) Eddie Guerrero was joined by his nephew, Chavo Guerrero Jr. in streetclothes. Chavo didn't look to happy to be there. Eddie made Chavo open the ring ropes for him, then took a seat near the time keeper. Booker T. came down and things got going. Highlights & Lowlights -The crowd was very into Booker T. Either that or they were really into booing Guerrero. -Booker's power made for some great shots early on. Guerrero sold them beautifully. -At one point, Guerrero looked at his nephew and yelled at him for help. Chavo stayed seated and refused. -Eddie took control about midway through. He started working on Booker's knee in very inventive ways. -As Booker was on the oustide, Eddie went to the top rope for a cross body block. Just as he was about to jump, Booker was a bit out of place. Eddie awkwardly changed his position on the rope, then jumped. It looked a bit messy, but he saved it nicely. -Booker made the comeback and attempted a missile dropkick. Eddie moved out of the way, but Booker landed on his feet and stayed up. It was odd to see, since Booker had his knee really worked on and he was limping. The match ended when Eddie was going for a Superplex. Booker pushed him off, but Eddie did a mid air flip and landed on his feet. Still on the top rope, Booker hit Guerrero with the Missile Dropkick and took the pin. Afterwards, the camera showed Chavo with a little smile on his face. Eddie saw it to and asked him what was up. Chavo denied doing anything. They pushed each other, then Eddie seemed to give up and invited Chavo to leave the ring with him. As soon as his back was turned, Eddie attacked Chavo and beat him up as little. The match was pretty good. A nice, solid opener. -shot of the WCW.com area where Mark Madden and Lee Marshall was talking to Scott Steiner. White Thunder threatened to beat up both Marshall and Schiavone. SECOND MATCH:Konan vs Juventud Guerrera When Juventud came to the ring, Konan was already there. They wasted no time in getting into it. Highlights & Lowlights -Konan seems to refuse to sell any shots. Anything Guerrera hit him with didn't seem to hurt him. -Early on, they had a brief sequence with the steel steps. Quite frankly, the whole sequence (two chops, a forearm, and a throw into the steps) was the worst sold crap I ever saw. -After the first 4 minutes or so..Konan dominated most of the match. -Konan has some of the most unique holds that I ever saw. Including a variation of a leg lock and a move where he has Juventud in a Boston Crab-like move. He reached behind him and grabbed Juventud's arms, then swung him back and forth between his legs. After a few swings, Konan dropped Guerrera on his neck. The move had to hurt. -As Konan went for a top rope German Suplex, Guerrera jumped out of the way. Konan went down, but his legs were hooked on the ropes, leaving him hanging upside down. Guerrera went on the attack. -Juventud went for the 450 Splash, but Konan got out of the way. Guerrera landed on his feet, but Konan got him in the Cradle DDT. -He went for the pin, but Guerrera kicked out. He went for another pin, but Guerrera kicked out of it. Guerrera rolled up Konan and got the upset pin. After the match, Konan attacked and put Guerrera in another Cradle DDT. He walked around all proud after that. Judging from the horrible job he did of selling any Guerrera shot at all, Konan shouldn't be proud at all. -Gene Okerlund talked to JJ Dillon. Dillon said that the Powerslam will be legal for tonight and tonight only, at the request of the Giant. THIRD MATCH: Dean Malenko vs Chris Jericho (WCW World Cruiserweight Title Match) Malenko came to the ring looking more morose than usual. Jericho came to the ring, but first he took a sign from a fan that said, "JERICHO RULES". He smiled at first, but then he tore it up and told the fan not to patronize him. After stalling for a bit, the match got underway. Highlights & Lowlights -As with all Malenko matches, this was a mat classic for much of the beginning. -As he was outwrestled, Jericho had much fun playing up the "frustrated heel" angle. -At one point early on, Jericho walked away from the ring in a huff. He made it all the way to the entranceway, then walked back for no apparent reason. -Eventually, Jericho did take control. He tried to get Malenko in the "Lion Tamer" two times. Malenko got away on both tries. -At one point, Jericho went for a springboard kick. He couldn't get his leg up in time, so he covered by using his arm instead. -Malenko got in that top rope abdominal kneedrop that he does every so often. It's pretty to look at. Eventually, Jericho tried for the "Lion Tamer" for a third time. After a struggle, he got it on and Malemko had to tap out. Jericho won the match. Mean Gene walked to the ring. Jericho tried to talk to him, but Okerlund ignored him and went into the ring. Malenko was visibly upset over his loss. Gene went on a tirade with Malenko, even going so far as to call him a "loser". When Gene finally asked Malenko what was next for him, Malenko simply said, "home" and walked away. The announcers wasted no time in speculating that Malenko retired right there. -Raven was seen in the WCW.com area. FOURTH MATCH: Scott Steiner vs Lex Luger Both men came to the ring and started fighting right away. Highlights & Lowlights -It was a match between two over muscled men. So you knew there wasn't going to be a lot of mobility. -Steiner took control early on. -Luger threw Steiner into the outside railing. White Thunder actually flipped over the railing and into the fan's laps. It was pretty damn impressive. The match ended when Rick Steiner came out to stop his brother from using a chair. Scott Norton came out and attacked him. As Scott watched all this, Luger hit him from behind and rolled him up for the pin. Scott Steiner got up, hit the ref, and tried to hit Luger with a chair again. Luger got out of there, and Rick faced his brother. Scotty swung the chair, but Rick flipped him out of the ring and onto the floor. Scotty landed on his neck, which could have really hurt him. Norton led Steiner away. The match was pure crap. FIFTH MATCH: Raven vs Chris Benoit vs Diamond Dallas Page (Three Way No Rules Match for the WCW United States Heavyweight Title) Raven entered first. Benoit followed. Page closed it out. After a few minutes of hesitation, the match got going. Highlights & Lowlights -As expected, there were no friends in this one. Everyone went for everyone and every conceivable double team took place. -Things didn't get going until they started to fight up the aisle. -Raven took the worst of it. -Up near the entrance way, Raven produced a garbage can. DDP ended up jamming it on Raven. The he and Benoit took a pair of crutches and attacked Raven with them. -After they did that. Benoit and Page took turns going for a pin, and having the other guy pull him off. -Raven and Benoit threw Page into the big Uncensored light boxes. Then they pulled him off and threw him into them again. Page was out for a while. -Raven took a piece of velvet rope and began choaking Benoit with it. Then he took a table and tried to throw Benoit into it. Benoit reversed it and Raven went flying. -Benoit dragged Raven back to the ring with the velvet rope. In the ring, Raven made use of a chair. -During this, Page was seen crawling to the ring. -With all three in the ring, Benoit put Raven in the sleeper. Page came from behind and put Benoit in the sleeper at the same time. Raven dropped down and all three went down. -In the move of the night, Benoit put Raven in the German Suplex. DDP put Benoit in a German Suiplex at the same time. All three men joined and did a three way German Suplex. -In the WORST move of the night, Raven took a sign from Lodi that read, "USE MY SIGN". He cranked Page with it, then tore it open to reveal a metal stop sign underneath. What makes this horrible is that ECW did the EXACT SAME MOVE a few years ago with Raven and Tommy Dreamer. How unoriginal. The match ended after Raven set up a table in the ring. He set Page up on it, but ended up fighting with Benoit on the top turnbuckle. Page recovered, threw Benoit off, then gave Raven a Diamond Cutter from the top rope onto the table. It was a great shot and gave Page the win. Other than that blatant ECW ripoff that's downright plagerism, it was an excellent match. Best match of the night. -The announcers kill some time. SIXTH MATCH: Kevin Nash vs the Giant Nash came out in vintage form, playing up to the camera. The Giant came down wearing his neck brace, which made Nash crack up. The match got going. Highlights & Lowlights -Early on, Nash actually outwrestled the Giant. Surprising. -Nash dominated early in, working on the Giant's neck right off the bat. -Of course, Nash got to taking off the neck brace. He was about to hit the Giant, but he ran into a big boot, which was suspiciously near the groin. Just as the Giant was about to unload the Chokeslam, Brian Adams came out and hit him in the back with a bat. The ref called for the bell and DQ'ed Nash. Konan and Vincent ran in. The whole affair involved the Giant snapping a bat over his knee, then not being affaected after Nash broke another bat over his back. It was a screwjob ending...and a pretty bad match. It's funny, they made a big deal about reinstating the Powerbomb for one night only, then nobody used it. -Gene Okerlund pushed the Hotline. SEVENTH MATCH: Curt Henning vs Bret Hart. Hennig came out with Rick Rude. Bret came out wearing a "Calgary Hitmen" hockey jersey. The match got going. Highlights & Lowlights -What the hell happened to Bret Hart? This may have been the worst match of his life? -It was slow, lazy, and downright boring. -The only highpoint was that Bret kicked out of the "Fisherman's Suplex". The Sharpshooter won the match, but Rude and Hennig doubleteamed Bret a little. Rude even brought the "Rude Awakening" out of hiatus. Bret was left out cold in the ring. Horrible match, very basic and almost business like. EIGHTH MATCH:Scott Hall vs Sting (WCW World Heavyweight Title match) Dusty Rhodes brought Hall to the ring. Sting came out and went right to the offensive when Hall started to try on the Heavyweight belt. Highlights & Lowlights -In a move that always amuses me, Hall offered Sting to lock fingers, then went for the eyes. -At one point, Hall went for the Double Crotch Chop, but stopped himself and only waved in that area. -Dusty seems to be having a lot of fun in his new role. -After putting Sting in the chokeslam, Hall walked around like the Giant. -At one point, Hall was out on his back. Sting fell down in a lump and his head almost crashed right into Hall's groin. -With both men out and the ref's back turned, Dusty Rhodes came into the ring and did a vintage Elbowdrop complete with the shucking and jiving that he's so famous for. It was a pleasure to watch. -In a bit of a foul up, Sting tried to kick Hall into the corner. He missed. He still went to the other corner for the Stinger Splash, but Hall wasn't in the corner. Hall saw Sting in the corner of his eye and was nice enough to move into the corner himself. -Sting punched Dusty and sent him down. Konan could take a few lessons from Big Dust on how to sell a shot. -Sting threw Hall into the referee. The camera was right in the ref's face at the time. The acting job that he did as he took the shot was nothing short of ridiculous. -Hall hit Sting with a foreign object. Sting kicked out. A Scorpion Deathdrop won the match for Sting. Afterwards, Sting faced Dusty Rhodes and gave him the Double Crotch Chop that Bischoff supposingly banned. The camera didn't catch it as it was looking at Sting from the waist up and the announcers ignored it. Still, it was a nice touch to a solid effort from both men. A bit unexciting, but still a satisfying title match. -Promo for the next PPV, Spring Stampede. Goldberg is showcased in it. -The cage was being lowered as Michael Buffer told us to get ready to rumble. NINTH MATCH:"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan vs "The Macho Man" Randy Savage Hogan came to the ring first without Eric Bischoff. Savage came out with Elizabeth and they got right into it. Highlights & Lowlights -It took a few seconds for the ring lights to come back up. -Hogan went to the offensive and kept it for most of the match. About 95% of it. -Both men made liberal use of Hogan's weight belt. -Hogan started to bleed, but it wasn't runny and the cameras stayed on him. -Savage started to bleed and the cameras stayed way back for the duration of the match. -In what has to be the DUMBEST move ever, Hogan threw savage out of the cage and they started to brawl. I thought the first man out of the cage was the point of cage matches? -Savage mounted the top of the cage and cranked Hogan with the Axe Handle. -Savage climbed to the top again to give Hogan the Elbowsmash. Ed Leslie came out, hit the ref, opened the cage, and got in Savage's way. Savage came down and faced off with both of them. Then Sting came down from the rafters and the four men had a staredown. After an especially long time of just staring, Savage clocked Sting, spit at Hogan and walked out of the cage. He turned to Hogan, told him that he never liked him, then walked away. The show ended with Hogan screaming at Savage about how he (Hogan) was the boss and how Savage works for him. You know what, tonight's PPV was like a better than an average Nitro, and a crappy pay per view. Only the Booker/Guerrero was really good and the Three Way dance was fantastic. The Sting match was good too, but nothing mind blowing. Everything else sucked and the crowd was NOT into it. Another case of terrible booking. I want my money back. Hopefully, the Mop-Up will be on time this week, remember, it's now in the SCOOPS ARENA section. That's where I now hang my hat...if I wore one. This is Hyatte.