Mop-Up RAW Recap & Review of March 27's edition of WWF Raw (USA) by Chris Hyatte Here's a little change of pace... "Hyatte, Just wanted to pass along this little tidbit in my latest column. I'm nobody big, but I did want to let you know that you've still got a huge fan base among the net and that you're quite the influence in people's writing, although your style can never be copied." -CW, 411wrestling, who then wrote: "My hero, Chris Hyatte, has begun posting his Mop-Ups on ScoopThis.com on a regular basis... two weeks in a row, really. If you've never heard of him, or at least have never read his stuff, I encourage you to check it out. Some people don't care for Hyatte's humor, but he's a true original to me and it's undeniable that he played a big part in the success of Scoops. " That's me! Hero to ALL!!! 411's still around? How is my buddy Gagnon doing anyway? Didn't they hire Spiffy after that Uncensored board dumped him? Do they still have Spiffy running around pretending that he's in the business? Of course, there's a backstory to why I posted that. If enough people ask, then I'll get into it. I'm Chris and this is the Mop-Up. Last week we ALMOST made it to an amazing four FULL weeks worth of columns, but then WE, (which is to say "I", because none of you nitwits have anything to do with this production) bailed out last week. How about we reach for the gold and go for 4 STRAIGHT columns for the month of April? Why not? Spring is here, the birds are singing, Darryl Strawberry is in rehab, what's old is new again. Old excuses now become NEW BEGINNINGS (!!!!) and all is right with the world! [Ed's Note: And we also promised him pay if he could pull it off.] If anyone on the mailboard starts running a betting pool as to when I bail out again, put me down for $5 on the third week of April, but hey, don't let that influence you. Big thanks for the ALWAYS awesome Marc K, for sending me the movie poster and press kit for the movie "Whatever It Takes". He, and one other guy, are ALWAYS sending me amazing stuff and I hold their patronage and their support in my deepest of hearts. I love you Marc... and not in a faggy way either. "Whatever It Takes"... do me a favor and take a chick to see it. She'll be so thrilled, she might let you finger her during the Coming Attractions. If she doesn't, do it anyway. Say you dropped some popcorn. Big Thanks (2) to Jason for those stock tips. Screw it... big thanks to ALL my "sniveling sycophants". Let them call you whatever they want... it's just jealousy. And in case you hadn't noticed... I have NEVER demanded that ANYONE leave the ‘net forever. Sure, I demanded that they die...either of cancer or AIDS... but I've never wished Internet banishment. I don't HATE anyone either. It's ridiculous to hate someone from stuff they write. I just laugh at them. Until I get fed up. Then I deal with them. [Ed's Note: 7 bodies found so far an counting.] Okay, let's have a little fun and bust someone's balls. No, not HIM either. I think we are all just a little sick and tired of listening to him whine about how everyone is against him. Let's bust someone ELSE'S balls for a change. I'm sure I'll be dealing with the other guy in due time. Dave Scherer is a hoot. Dave Scherer is an absolute egomaniac. Lots of people accuse me of having an ego (oh, if you only knew). Dick Scaia has an ego, but it's mostly a pretentious, therefore harmless one. Dave Scherer, though... Big Dave, Mr. "Daily News", is literally out of his friggin' mind. Okay, so Wade Keller reported that WCW was about to wipe clean the whole Creative team and bring back Eric Bischoff. With that Creative Team out of the way, the talk was that Vince Russo would probably come along for the ride too. Dave had this to say about these stories... "Man, what a few days it's been on the net with all of the wild stories going around about WCW. Whenever there is as much unrest and upheaval in a company as there presently is in WCW, people will obviously talk and there will be rumors. The prudent and judicious thing to do when such rumors start is to actually wait until said story goes from proposed to actual news. Then, it becomes a news story. Sadly, too many people try to "take a guess" at what will happen and report it like it's a factual story, which then in turn spurs more talk and rumors on the net. Sometimes those who start the untrue rumors retract them. Others retract them halfheartedly, only to say why "even though they were technically wrong, they were really right because what they said already happened probably will at any time now". Others simply never address their fallacious "reporting" at all. Is it really any wonder that "internet wrestling reporting" gets such a bad rap from so many people? It's sad really what goes on some places online. I don't want to be so negative, but if people would at least label rumors as rumors, that would go a long way. Reporting things that aren't true as being "definitive" is just irresponsible. I really hate to say, ‘Unless you read it on this site don't believe it' because it sounds incredibly conceited to me. Others do good work as well. So, I will ask of you is that you take stock of who writes what and, when a site continually misleads you, take note of that." A few days later, Eric Bischoff was confirmed as being back. Vince Russo was interviewed by Dave and Ralphus Ryder (I'll address THAT interview next week). Dave had NOTHING to say about his previous rant. He didn't address it at all. He ignored it. Hell, I'm surprised he didn't delete the thing right out of his archives. The point I'm making? Well, I have none. Actually, I DO have one. It's that Dave Scherer IS the TOP Wrestling Reporter on the Internet. Samuda is #2 and Isaacs is #3. Samuda would be #1 if he went daily. Al would be #1 if he did a more detailed update and didn't LIE ALL THE TIME (I can tell you right now, Freakboy did NOT fly all the way to Texas to cover Shawn Michael's upcoming return to the ring, and there is no "office"... Al works at home.) At this point in time, Scherer is the man I go to every day... I suspect this is the practice of almost everyone reading this. The problem is, in Dave's world, IF HE DIDN'T GET TO REPORT IT FIRST, IT'S ALL LIES, HERESY, AND BULLCRAP!!!!!! He does this all the time. He SCREAMS over stuff that happens before he can report it. That's why it was so fun when someone set up a rumor game a few months ago. Someone by the name of "The Scots" sent wild rumors off to a number of Web Reporters, and ran a tally as to who reported this BS news first. Dave fell for one of those rumors and MAN, did he blow his stack. It was absolutely hilarious. If I wasn't so high profile, I would have done it myself. "Is it really any wonder that ‘internet wrestling reporting' gets such a bad rap from so many people?" Well, when the "legit" reporters are so damn protective of their reps that they spend time cursing the Mothers who spread for the Fathers of these rumor spreading SCUMBUCKETS... what do you expect? Who DOES give Internet Wrestling Reporting a bad rap anyway? Hotline guys who are now obsolete? Wrestlers and Announcers who can't fart without it being covered online? F-em... the Internet is the Future, and the Future is NOW! "I really hate to say, ‘Unless you read it on this site don't believe it' because it sounds incredibly conceited to me." Yet, he implies it ALL THE TIME Moral of the story... if Dave Scherer swallowed coal, his ass would be a diamond mine. Lastly, best wishes to Lady Miss Carrie, who left SCOOPS because it ain't no fun when I'm not around. Do you realize that if you cut and pasted this entire opener, you would have a pretty decent edition of "The Litterbox"? [Dusty's Note: Jealousy is such an ugly thing.] Anyways... RAW IS WAR: (or Taking the "Low Key" approach to promoting Wrestlemania) -opens with footage from the last "Smackdown" where Stephanie smacked her Mother across the mush. Doesn't Linda strike you as being a wee bit too dignified to be a part of this? -opening theme. When will Austin make his return? When they cut him from the first image of the opening theme and replace him with the Rock's face. Then you'll see a comeback, the likes of which hasn't been seen Japan rose from the Atomic ashes of Hiroshima. Austin'll have the theme from "Rocky" on a continuous loop and piped in directly to his ears 24/7, by God. -Fireworks and explosions. So much like the ‘Nam, Tom Cruise is out back in a wheelchair protesting. -oh boy -They are in Houston, Texas. Once again, WCW and the WWF are working the same state. -Houston... I thought Houston was supposed to be music's "next Seattle"? What happened with that? -Jim Ross barely has time to say that the McMahon family is falling apart in front of our very eyes when... -Linda McMahon comes out to that INCREDIBLY HOKEY Wrestlemania theme music. Oh God, I HATE that tune. Da da da daa daaaaa... oooph... of all the music that Jimmy Hart created, THAT was the one they keep using? -Now that's a classy bitch. I bet she's as tough as nails too. -She hits the ring and apologizes to us for the family breakdown that occurred on Smackdown. See, classy! The best my old man was able to do was scream "TAKE A PITCHER, IT'LL LAST LONGER!" at the neighbors whenever my... "discipline" took place outdoors. -Linda said that she spent the last few months sitting at the Corporate Offices wondering how to hide the fortune should "Mr. IRS" should come a'knocking once again. Then she decided to come back and... and... Oh man, what a MONOTONE!! -Cold as ice. I bet she's as cold as ice. I bet Vince needs a jackhammer to... to... oh nevermind. -She said that Mick Foley deserves to be in the main event, so she's happy to have booked that, but she wasn't too happy to have booked her daughter's... oh this is so stupid. -She said that falling to the mat after being slapped was humiliating. I agree, what a lousy sell. -She said that Stephanie was 23 years old. Hmm... fresh lettuce. I'd like to Mulch her garden. -She confessed that she probably wasn't a good Mother to Stephanie. (See? I KNEW that brief affair with Jose Luis Rivera in the 70's would come back to bite her on the ass.) -BUT, she didn't deserve to be slapped. So she DEMANDED that Stephanie come out and apologize to us for the way she's been acting. Plus, giving half of Connecticut a case of the Blue balls wasn't fun either. Ya gots to finish the boys off Stephy, you don't know what it's like going home feeling like there's cement down there. -She called out Stephanie. But instead, out came Vincent K. (Russo and Bischoff? I got crap floating in my toilet more threatening then those two) McMahon. -Vince hit the ring and told his Wife that he had problems with Linda's sudden involvement with the in ring tomfoolery. (My God... it just hit me... LINDA'S GONNA LEAVE VINCE FOR VAL VENIS!!!!!!!!! IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER!!!) -Can't wait to see THAT love scene. -Linda informed Vince that she can take care of herself. Then she snidely added that she's been "taking care of herself" for the last ten years. At which point, Vince dropped the mic and muttered, "Dammit Linda I told you, it's the steroids" -They both smiled. Oh... ICK! Old Fogey love. -Vince said something about the Rock winning at WM, then turned to the entrance way and challenged Stephanie to show some of that "McMahon Gumption" and come on out for an apology. He also added that if she had the sac, she'd do it without her no good ratty Husband, Triple H. -Stephanie eventually came out. I think her boobs grow every week. -Stephanie soaked in the incoherent razzing. She held her mic out front, but low, near her waist... Freud would be all over that. -Stephanie opened her mouth and scoffed her parents demands. Then said that after careful reflection and heavy tape review, she decided that she WAS wrong in slapping her Mother. Then she pretended to be penitent for her actions. Then she apologized. -She didn't want to slap her Mother. What she really wanted to do, was SLAP HER DAD!!!! -If she could do it again... she would slap her Father across the face as hard as she could!! -Vincent K. McMahon, "I'm gonna come over there, and slap your little fanny until my pecker turns BLUE!!!!" (Huzza? Nothing little about that caboose!) -Stephanie turned around and stuck her fanny out. Jee...I say JEEZUS!!! -Stephanie PATS HER FANNY!! -HHH comes out... he's been with Chyna, he's got his OWN fetishes -I hear HHH and Chyna broke up. Now we see HHH and Stephanie getting more and more "chummy" with each other. Looks like the Rooster got his ass in the Henhouse and is banging the Golden Goose for all the eggs he can. -HHH is out. Vince pulled back into the ring. Jim Ross called HHH a "first class jackass" for wrecking the father/daughter spank session... No surprise there, he IS from Oklahoma after all. -HHH asked, "What the Hell kind of family did I marry into?" -Vince invited him to come to the ring and find out for himself. (Someone's gonna get spanked, Dammit!) -HHH said that violence was at the core of Vince's soul, which was his problem. HE, on the other hand, was a peaceful, gentle soul. -The crowd called HHH something. Vince remarked that the crowd was calling HHH something. Unfortunately, the Emergency broadcast system picked that time to do that test they do in case those damn Russkies decide to nuke us. Friggin' Commies! -HHH said that he doesn't care about us. He never heard of love. No he won't, listen to their hateful lies, got his eyes wide open and he sees the sky, ‘cause he don't care about us, he never heard of looooove. -HHH said that it was time for the Old to retire and the New to run the show. My God, they are beating WCW to their own punch!! IT'S A STROKE OF GENIUS!!!!!! -I am half serious with that. -Shane McMahon came out, passed HHH and Stephanie, mouthed off to HHH and got in his face. Walked to the ringside. Put the mic to his mouth and said that he agreed with HHH in one respect, that this is ALL F-ed up. -He gave Stephanie hell for slapping Mother McMahon. Serious hell at that. -He entered the ring and apologized to the audience on behalf of his side of the McClan, and hugged his Mother, after rewinding several times, I have concluded that Shane did NOT try to grab her ass during the hug... FINALLY, some normalcy. -Of course, her back was towards the camera, so she might have grabbed his. -Shane concluded by saying that he DID agree with HHH in one respect, it was time to usher out the Old and bring in the New. -With that, he whacked Vince from behind with the mic. HHH charged in and the beatdown commenced. -Linda stood there for a while, then pulled Shane's hair. -Stephanie grabbed her Mother from behind and held her for Shane. Shane came towards her holding his hair shouting, "My transplants, Ma!! Why go for my Transplants??" -Jeeze... Stephanie holding Linda for Shane? Slap a dick on Stephanie, remove all their pants and you pretty much have every Sunday night at the Hyatte household for the first 17 years of my life! -Mick Foley and the Big Show run out. Foley didn't last long. -Vince was about to get Pedrigreed, then the Rock ran out. -The Rock ended up Chokeslammed, Foley ended up Pedigreed, Vince ended up hit with the title belt, my Dog ended up anally raped. (Hey, SOMETHING had to get it!) -Ross screamed all sorts of hell, which led us quite nicely to the night's first set of... -commercials -footage of what just happened. A more calm Ross took charge. -Chyna came out and fired off her Bazooka. She's got a cute smile. -Snicker's is bringing us Wrestlemania. Milky Way didn't have the nuts to do it (*rimshot*), But seriously folks... -Y2J came out, with a mic in his hand. Chyna was looking at him with some SERIOUS F-Me eyes. I was too, quite frankly. He IS a good looking stud muffin. -Jericho welcomed us to RAW is Jericho, then riffed on Chris "Ben-oyt", calling him the "Robotic Crappler"... for reasons that you can figure out. -Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit came out. Glad to see Eddie's back. Glad to see Eddie's front, for that matter. -These two are gonna be the piss in WCW's swimming pool. -Chyna and Eddie were about to hook up, then Eddie motioned that his elbow hurt and tagged Benoit. Benoit got out there. Chyna circled him, Eddie attacked from behind. They started kicking away. Jericho took his sweet ass time getting in there. -OBSCURE WRESTLING RULE THAT I REMEMBER AND YOU MTV/CARSON DALY LOVING PUNKS DON'T!!!!! At the start of a tag team match, if you do NOT touch your opponent, your partner can attack him from behind without being tagged and become the legal man in the ring! So long as you never touch your opponent. I used to use that rule ALL the time when I wrestled my pillows in the living room back in the mid 90's. -Benoit beat the crap out of Chyna. Chyna fought back and tagged in Jericho. -Jericho put Benoit in the Walls of Jericho, Guerrero got him out of it. -Jericho powerbombed Jericho, then went for the Springboard Dragonfly German Leapy thing (Suck me). Eddie tripped him up. Benoit pinned him. Benoit wins. -Afterwhich, Benoit and Eddie kicked Chyna around. A Mexican and a Canadian kicking around an American Female? That sounds about right. -Jericho saved her by taking Benoit out of the equation. Chyna chased Eddie into the ring. -Malenko and Saturn ran out and attacked Chyna. They held her and Eddie started to wail. Wow, the are pretty much re-creating the night I was conceived. -Too Cool ran out and saved the day. -Backstage, Michael Cole talked to Vince McMahon. Vince challenged Shane to a match tonight. Linda showed up and asked him not too. Vince told her to bug off (YEEAH!!!) and said that Shane's ass is grass and he's a lawn mower tonight. -commercials -Hardcore Holly was out. Nice to see Old Bob back. -We see how Hardcore almost suckered his Cousin into a Hardcore title reign on Thursday. -Crash Holly came out. It looks to be Cousin against Cousin tonight. Lawler asked Ross what is it with families tonight? Ross said it must be in the water. That, and Texas laws state that Business of Kin is Business of Kin and cannot be held up to the laws of normal civilization. -Tazz ran out and got into this. -The Headbangers ran out too. -Viscera ra...err...walked out too -Crash ran like hell. The Mean Street Posse found him. He ran like hell again. -He bumped into Kaientei (remember when Vince actually FOUGHT to keep Taka out of WCW?). They let him pass, then Taka attacked him from behind. -Everyone jammed up in the hallway. Crash ran outside, everyone followed. -Everyone was looking for Crash, who was hiding behind a trash can. Crash ran back inside and slammed the door behind him. He survived another night. -Backstage, Shane McMahon said that he would LOVE to fight his Dad, but not tonight. -Backstage, Kevin Kelly tried to get a microphone towards Rikishi's face while avoiding his huge ass. Kevin Kelly has no chin whatsoever. I just noticed this. -Kelly asked Rikishi what he thought about his match with Road Dogg tonight. Rikishi said, "His face, my ass!" What is WRONG with this friggin' company? -commercials -Michael Cole was busy waiting on the Rock, and not looking too thrilled with the prospect either. -The Rock was on the Leno show. Notice that even though it's called the "Tonight Show", NOBODY calls it the "Tonight Show". There is only ONE host of the "Tonight Show" spanky, and it ain't THAT douchebag. -Road Dogg came out. Lawler told all boys over the age of 16 that they can probably take their fathers by now. Then he told all girls over the age of 16 to write to his e-mail address and send him a picture. Preferably nekkid. -Road Dogg did his thing. Including a longish sort of Limerick that he seemed to have totally fouled up midway through. -Rikishi Phatu was out. You know, he really is a rather handsome man. Boyish good looks. -Where IS the Tonga Kid anyway? -Rikishi tossed ‘Kishi around a little. Doggy pulled a few moves, but Dogg ended up snorting Crack. -Road Dogg ran out and was counted out. Now is the time when we dance. -The Rock talked to Michael Cole, although Cole was hardly a part of it. Rocky broke down the family problems, adding that Shane's dog took a crap on Stephanie's rug and Shane hasn't had an erection for the last 8 months. (Really? Him AND Scaia?) -In short, the Rock doesn't care about the McMahon family saga, he can wipe a Monkey's ass with their problems. Instead, he challenges Shane to any sort of match, any way he wants it. -commercials -Last night on Heat, Edge and Christian got all pissy with the Hardy Boyz. -Edge and Muslim...err, Christian took a ringside seat and kept up the pissness towards the Hardyz. We see a sign directly behind them with Dave Scherer's name on it. Aw Fudge. -At least we don't see any more Sushi X signs around. -Saturn and Malenko came out. -The Hardy Boyz came out. -They got it on. -How's that for in depth coverage? You see folks, the key to good recapping is not just an eye for a humorous slant, but also an eye for DETAILS. People go to recaps to FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED! Blow by blow, quip by quip, every detail, both obvious and minute, must be painstakingly recorded. Speeches must be transcribed NOT just word for word... but also for inflection, cadence, tone. For it is NOT the words we hear, the actions we see that are important, but the words we DON'T hear, the actions we DON'T see, which also speak volumes. The reader MUST be made aware of the show in it's ENTIRE glory. THAT is the recapper's job... and I'll do my BEST to live up to these impossible standards! -WHOA!! SHOWTIME HAS PREP SCHOOL GIRLS ALL NAKED AND DANCING AROUND A PIT!!!! PARDON ME WHILST I GET MY PANTS OFF!!!!!!!! -Like you didn't see that coming a mile away -Backstage, Shane McMahon announced that the Rock will be fighting both him and TBS. TBS tried to say something, but those Damn Commie PRICKS must be flying overhead again. -Charles Barkley was in the house. Damn shame that Sir Charles couldn't get at least one ring around his finger. -Kurt Angle came out and goofed on Houston for losing the Oilers. Then he bitched about working two falls against two guys at Wrestlemania -Which reminds me... this year, the three main belts will be decided by two 3 way dances and one 4 way dance. Plus a Battle Royal for the Hardcore strap. Guess what? Remember that talent pool that everyone said was so shallow? -Angle called Kane a "Big Red Retard", but added that he has no problems with Retards, many of his fans are Retards. That was funny. -Kane came out. Angle attacked him before he could set off his ring corner bombs. -We have entered the second hour, by the way. -Okay, what we had here was yer classic size vs speed, power vs skill thing, which ended with Angle getting DQ'ed after using his belt, but Kane chased him down and used his Choke/Stone combo. There were a few things I noticed here, though. -1) This was a FULL match. It went a while, there was no interference. Both men worked hard. -2) Kane is really an overlooked worker. He has been delivering solid performances with more regularity. -3) OR, Angle is so gifted, that this early in his Pro career, he has that VERY underestimated gift of being able to make his opponent look as good as you do. HBK is great at that. Bret Hart is great at that. Flair is awesome at that (when he wants to be). It's a talent for the game that few people talk about. -4) Kane is ready to spend 2000 going for the World belt. Angle is well on his way. -Backstage, Vince announces that he'll be teaming with the Rock tonight. If Rocky don't like it? Well, Vince made him, he can make someone just like him. Vince is a creative GOD!!!!!!! He can make heroes AT THE SNAP OF HIS FINGERS!!!!!! VINCE IS A GODDAM... A GODDAM... A... A... -I totally forgot where I was going with this. -anyway, Trish Stratush was walking backstage. Another fitness fiend enters the sport, because Torrie Wilson is SO DAMN CHARISMATIC!! -commercials -Al Snow tells Steve Blackman that now is the time and the time is now. -Test and Albert were out with Trish Stratus so Test can go mano y mano with Snow. -It didn't last long. Snow was pinned. Stratus teased her bod, but remained covered. She ain't Graping my nuts, yet. -Backstage, Stephanie and HHH decide that HHH will Ref the match tonight. -commercials -Backstage, Stephanie and HHH decide that HHH will Ref the match tonight. I don't know why they labored on this point for two segments, so don't ask. -The Big Bossman and Bull Buchman came out. -The Acolytes came out. Ross asked if we liked it rough... Oh, do me Big daddy! -Suddenly, D-Lo and the Godfather came out with some Hoes. One of whom reached into her chest and drew out a wad of bills. She gave the wad to the Acolytes. The Acolytes took the money and ran. D-Lo and the GF took their spots in the ring and chased every single white guy away. Then they celebrated with the girls. One of which had VERY short blonde hair and HUGE breasts. (Ugh... only dikes should keep their hair severe short). -Linda McMahon told Kevin Kelly that Mick Foley will be a ref tonight too. Don't you DARE tell me this is a shock. -commercials -We see Mick Foley putting on a Ref shirt. That's something we needed to see? -GTV sneaks us a peak at a Terri/Cat fight which resulted in a Moolah/Mae Young fight. All will be settled at that show coming up. -I'm firmly on breeze control, in case you didn't notice. -Backstage, The Rock told Vince he doesn't NEED a partner. Vince tells the Rock that when he wants his opinion, he'll give it to him. -Method Man interprets the Rock's theme song, complete with a video, complete with a white woman dancing, or maybe Hispanic? Hey, it's all good! Peace OUT! -commercials -X-Pac came out with Torrie and the Road Dogg. -The Dudley Boys came out. Pac is taking on D-Von. -Buh Buh set up the table. Damn him. -They fought a little. Then X-Pac prepared for the Bronco Buster, but Buh Buh yanked him down by the hair. It became a brawl. Road Dogg was doing his shuck and jive, Kane came out. Buh Buh called him on. I think Buh Buh ended up chokeslammed, but Kane ended up being tossed over the top ropes and right through the table in a really decent bump. I have come to the conclusion that X-Pac must really whine when he has to put someone over, because he never does it. He ALWAYS comes out on top. -The main event is next. -commercials -Footage of what happened earlier tonight. -Referee HHH came out with his Bride. -Mick Foley came out and jawed off to HHH. Aww, they got along so WELL at SNL! -TBS came out to his "rapped up" music. I wonder how many dead presidents Vince had to shell out for this thing? -Shane was with TBS, by the way. -Vince came out alone. -Vince ended up getting a tuned a little. -The Rock ran out and went at it. Things were settled and things got going, in that EXACT order -So, Maivia stayed in there for much of it. He took a little TBS roughing. -Then Shane was tagged in and performed with his usual zest. Eventually, Rocky got tired of selling to this Brat and mounted a comeback. -HHH interfered and Shane re-took control. Foley gave HHH some crap about it. -Then Foley turned around and cold cocked Shane. If you saw it, you laughed. It was a funny sell from both sides. -The Ref's started to shove each other. The Big Show was tagged. -Rocky got the kickings stuffed out of him. -Were this WCW, Barkley would have interfered by now. -Shane was tagged in. Rock got off a fast DDT. -After some suspense and a little hoopla, Vince was tagged in. -COME ON VINCE!!! RAPE THAT MOTHA!!!!!!!!! -Vince swung at Shane, Shane ducked. Shane went down anyway. I say he got light headed from ducking so fast. -Shane got tuned on. Shane was even clotheslined up and over the Announce table. -Back in the ring, Vince speared his son, I didn't even know Vince was Jewish?!? -Vince got cocky and tried to punch TBS. TBS caught him. Vince went down. -Rocky was tagged. Shane ate a People's Elbow. -HHH stopped Foley's count with an elbow. He gave Rocky the pedigree and rolled Shane on top of him. -Ross called HHH a son of a bitch. Ross always seems to be calling someone a "son of a bitch" after 11! -Vince stopped that count and knocked HHH out of the ring. (OY!) -TBS grabbed Vince by the throat. -Foley Mandible Clawed TBS. When Mick retires, I ain't gonna miss THAT lame ass hold. -Rock Bottom on Shane and we got us a pair of winners. -basically, the show ends. Fine... good... it'll probably win the night. Don't much know, don't much care. Y'know what I want to see? I want to see TBS win the WM match and the title. Just for a little F-You to the know-it-alls out there who think they have the inside scoop. That's what I want. I should tell you, the Nitro column is MUCH better than this column here. I promise.