Nitro Mop Up ... by Chris Hyatte
MOVING RIGHT ALONG 4/6/98
-Eddie and Chavo Guerrero come to the ring...Eddie looks as happy as a Cuban Baseball player being recruited by Steinbrenner. Eddie took the mic and told Chavo that their Grandmother (or "Grandma"...see the closer) was kicked out of the "Pot Luck Club".....and there Uncle was kicked out of the "Lowriders"...all because Chavo was such a LOSER (everyone put an L on your foreheads now and shout "LOSER"....now don't you feel like a damn fool?). Eddie made Chavo apoligize for being a loser, then made him fight Ultimo Dragon tonight (maybe it was the other way around...who know, who cares).
-So, the Ultimo Dragon showed up and Chavo started going at it in his Uncle's place.....it didn't work out as planned. Eddie started to beat Chavo with his shirt. Heenan seemed to be having a bit too much fun with this.
-by the way,,the crowd started to chant, "DEPORT EDDIE"....isn't there something in the Bible about throwing stones at glass houses?
-commercials
-The Nitro Girls changed there clothes...so Kimberly was back to her old boring ass self.
-Footage from Uncensored when Geno called Malenko a "loser"....does Okerlund have even a SHRED of credibility left anymore? Do I for that matter????????????
-The announcers do what they do the most...SPECULATE, SPECULATE, SPECULATE!!!!!!!!!
-Barry Darsow comes to the ring to take on Lex Luger....am I crazy or has Luger become SO BORING lately?
-It didn't take Luger long.....need a map?
-commercials
-IT'S THE THIRD HOUR!!!!!! OH THANK GOD!!!!
-all sorts of footage concerning the Hennig/Hart and their accessories feud.
-Rick Rude, Curt Hennig, and Brian Adams come to the ring for a rematch with the Bulldog and Jim Neidhart...(A REMATCH THAT THE FANS HAVE BEEN TEARING THEIR HAIR OUT IN ANTICIPATION FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW WE ARE GONNA GET SOME BLOOD!!!!!!!!! GET THOSE DAMN KIDS TO BED!!!!)
-Rude joined the announcers for the Hell of it...Heenan's nose got brown within 10 seconds of his arrival.
-This match was SO BRUTAL..SO INTENSE...SO FRIGGIN' ORGASMIC THAT THEY HAD TO BREAK FOR...
-commercials
-back to the fun...guess who interferred, guess who came to the rescue, guess who said that no one knew what it was like to get screwed better than him (and maybe Syxx). Guess who proclaimed himself as the new sheriff in town. Just guess.
-By the way...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE BULLDOG????
-commercials
-Aaaahhh cool..my NEW favorite heel...Chris Jericho (last week's naming of all the moves that he does was the funniest thing I have EVER heard on Nitro...."ARM BAR".....BWAHAHAHAAAHHHAAA
-Jericho grabs the mic and proceeded to poke fun at Dean Malenko some more..than goofed on Prince Iakaka...nothing wrong with that....when he called Iaukeia "Baby"..I almost pooped my pants laughing.
-Juventud Guerrera...(now the most girly of the WCW stars....now that Syxx is gone) came to the ring for the match.
-In a bit of creative booking...(what show am I watching again??) Prince I'mfullacrapa threw in the towel to stop the match as Jericho had Juventud in the Lion Tamer.....Juvee never quit though. Jericho started to jam with the Prince, but ended up taking off....nothing was really done more with this angle....but it made things sort of interesting.
-for those who NEEDED to see it again...(and BOY do I feel sorry for you if you did), they show the Macho incident again....Tony and the boys examined it as if it was the Zapruder film.
-Superstar BILLY GRAHAM IS BACK!!!!! FROM THE DEAD NO LESS!!!!! AND BOY IS HE PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Oh, sorry, it's White Thunder..
-oh, sorry again...it's Big Poppa Pump, Superstar Scott Steiner, along with Vincent..and along with a bodybuilding trophy...(look closely, it's the Trophy for Best Ability To Hold All Those Steroids Without Dropping Dead!! Previous winners include Hogan, Luger, the Ultimate Warrior, and Chyna)
-Steiner is taking on Sick Boy.....it took about as long as you would expect.
-commercials
-Michael Buffer told us to get ready...and so we did.
-Nash came out with Konan (aw crap..not him). In the ring, Nash grabbed the mic and said that gave me a huge chuckle about how Hogan ran off at the mouth as usual for 45 minutes earlier tonight. Then hinted strongly that he was well aware of who ran Savage over. He also made a DEEP inside joke about how wearing a particular shirt for too long gets you fired. Nash went on about how he won't be handing the belt to anyone when he wins it tonight. He wrapped up by threatening to hit Hogan with the bat when he gets it at the PPV. You gotta give it to Nash..he knows how to WORK THAT F'K'N MIC!!
-commercials
-Sting came out. The jack started jacking.
-So far, it was a good, solid, "Dream Match" that took MUCH TOO LONG to go down.....WAAAAAAAAAY TOO LONG.
-Nash had control, Sting had it, Nash had it longer, Sting had it for a while, Konan got nailed (YAH), Nash came back, Sting came back....it was just that damn solid....
-Hogan ran in for no real good reason and started ppounding on Sting, Nash threw him off, they shoved, Sting attacked Hogan...
-The NWO attacked Sting. Piper and the Giant came out to make the save.
-Nash had to be held back in getting after Hogan when it was all over. Can you get the rest?
Does anyone believe Bischoff when he says that Nash is happy in WCW? I saw the look on his face....Nash has NEVER been that good of an actor....he is PISSED.
Good, solid show. Quickly paced and no BISCHOFF!!!! (Something is UP with that...Bischoff NEVER misses a shot in the spotlight....keep an eye on the 'net...I have a feeling that soemthing is going down). It'll take a solid, good RAW to knock off Nitro..let's see if she can do it.
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