WWF Results ... by Chris Hyatte

WWF IN YOUR HOUSE: UNFORGIVEN 4/26/98 How do you follow up Wrestlemania? That was the question that the WWF had to address for their April pay per view. With no Mike Tyson to bring publicity and no Shawn Michaels to bring a great match, the WWF had to find a way to get fans to open up their wallets yet again. Their solution? A card loaded with rematches from WM, and a card loaded with outrageous gimmicks. First up, put the Undertaker and Kane into an "Inferno Match" by surrounding the ring with fire. Next, throw two particularly well endowed women in the ring together and have them tear each other's gowns off. Top it off with the first title defense of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and you got your follow up. Of course, when you have a gimmick heavy program, the odds that it will stink increase dramatically. - Opens with an extended video montage of the Undertaker/Kane feud. They featured quotes from Dante's "Inferno"....which was a nice touch. - Jim Ross welcomed us to Greensboro, North Carolina. After a set up segment with Ross and Jerry Lawler, they got right into things. FIRST MATCH: The Nation of Domination vs Faarooq, Ken Shamrock, and Steve Blackman. Even though the NOD came out in full force, Kama was not wrestling in the match. When they came into the ring, Faarooq, Shamrock, and Blackman gave the NOD salute, which ticked off the heels quite nicely. After a bit of stalling, things got underway. Highlights & Lowlights: -Since Shamrock had injured his leg a week or so ago, he didn't see much ring time. -Ross and Lawler played up the fact that D-Lo is an underrated performer. -There was a brief moment where Faarooq and Shamrock argued over who Shamrock could tag in. -When he did get in, Faarooq's first order of business was to take out a piece of leather and whip D-Lo. -Blackman did most of the work for his team, and he took most of the punishment. -Mark Henry gave his best performance since becoming a pro. He really sold his power shots. -The Rock went for his "People's Elbow" (which the audience really responded too) on Blackman. He set it up, paused, the seemed to change his mind and not do it. Then he did it anyway. It was a cool variation, much better than my description. -D-Lo went to Moonsault Blackman, Blackman moved out of the way and D-Lo bellyflopped on the mat. The match ended with Faarooq and Maivia alone in the ring as the other four were fighting outside. Faarooq gave Maivia the "Dominator" and scored the pin. The fans really put him over. Afterwards, Faarooq thanked his team mates for helping him out when Michael Kole came around with a microphone. - Kevin Kelly and the Jackyl hyped up the Superstar line. - Steve Austin came to the ring. He grabbed the time keeper and told him that if he rings the bell on McMahon's orders, then the time keeper is going to get his ass whupped. - As the cage was being lowered for Chyna, they showed footage from Wrestlemania where Chyna threw powder in Commissioner Slaughter's eyes and crotched Owen. SECOND MATCH: Owen Hart vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley (WWF European Heavyweight Title Match. Chyna was to be suspended in a cage above the ring) Triple H and Chyna came to the ring first, Owen followed an immediately demanded that Chyna get into the cage. After the obligatory stalling, Chyna got in and Slaughter chained the door shut. Owen and HHH started to brawl for about 5 minutes before they actually raised the cage into the sky. Highlights & Lowlights: -Early into it, Owen punched HHH with a glass or cup of water. -He also threw HHH into Chyna's cage a couple of times before they raised it. -Owen tossed HHH into the announcer's tables for a bit. -In a nice spot, HHH dumped Owen face first into the top turnbuckle. Owen's neck really whipped back. -HHH had Owen in a variation of the "Dragon Sleeper". Not only did he put it on him on three occasions. but at one point, we clearly heard him call a spot. Ross tried to cover it up as simple trash talk, but it was painfully obvious. -Chyna kept trying to bend the bars, and she even tried to saw her way out of it at one point. She ended up dropping the blade. -Eventually, she did bend a steel bar and was able to climb out of the cage. She spent a good 3-5 minutes hanging outside by her hands, a good 20 feet in the sky. -Owen hit HHH with a flying elbow which looked really good, then he tried to grab Chyna and bring her down violently. Eventually, the cage was lowered. The camera showed us that Road Dog was responsible for the premature lowering. Slaughter and some refs charged and tried to drag her away. As she resisted, Owen dropped HHH with the "Pedigree" and was about to pin him. XPac ran into the ring and hit Owen with the Euro belt. HHH grabbed the pin and the win. Afterwards, Michael Kole talked to Owen at ringside. Owen said that he had enough of this "bullshit" and things were gonna have to change. Ross apologized for the remarks on behalf of the WWF. - JR bragged that 21, 427 people were in attendance tonight. - XPac was seen backstage talking to Dr. Tom Pritchard and Kevin Kelly online. THIRD MATCH: The Midnight Express vs the Rock and Roll Express. This extra match was inserted because North Carolina has held a few chapters of the long running Rock & Roll/Midnight Express feud from the 80's. Jim Cornette came out and really played up to the fans. After introducing his team, Morton and Gibson ran out to a reception that was probably louder than usual. The match began. Highlights & Lowlights: -Early into it, there was a sequence where "Bodacious" ran into "Bombastic" and knocked him off the ring apron twice. After the second time, they started top push each other around. Cornette had to struggle to keep the peace. -After disrupting a double team by the Midnight Express, the Ref had to argue with Cornette. Cornette ran into the ring, took off his jacket and tried to start a fight with the ref. A few swings chased Cornette away. -Then Cornette put his jacket back on, only it was turned inside out. You have to give the guy credit, he was struggling to entertain a so far quiet crowd. The Midnight Express eventually won after Bart hit Gibson from behind and rolled him up. A standard match that was made good by Cornette's "old school" heel manager theatrics. - Spot for the Austin's latest t-shirt - Dok Hendrix interviews Luna and Goldust. Luna growls about stripping Sable to her bare essentials FOURTH MATCH: Luna vs Sable (Evening Gown Match) Oddly enough, Ross said that Marc Mero was "too ashamed" to be there with Sable, yet he did show up towards the end of the match. Luna and Goldust came down first, she was wearing what looked more like a nightgown than a evening gown. Sable came to the ring, looking pleasantly whacked and full of antibiotics from her recent foot problems. They wasted no time in getting it on. Highlights & Lowlights: -Lawler was particularly snarky in this one. Even going so far as to demand to see "the milk factories". -They started off ripping each other's sleeves off. -Luna kicked things into high gear by yanking off Sable's bottoms. She was wearing bikini bottoms underneath, but the fans who were on "crackwatch" got all they wanted and more. -Mero made an appearance right after the bottom came off. He came to the apron and argued with Sable, which gave Luna enough time to finish the job and yank off Sable's top. Sable was now only in a bikini, which meant that she lost the match. Luna was declared the winner. It didn't end there though. After Sable powerbombed Luna, she chased Luna under the ring. After a few moments, Sable crawled out with the rest of Luna's gown. Goldust had to crawl under there and wrap his robe around the now naked Luna, (she probably wasn't naked, but it was what they were going for). Luna and Goldust ran backstage as Sable celebrated in the ring. The match was too short, and a little too sleazy. - spot for the next PPV, "Over the Edge" - Vince McMahon came to the ring flanked by Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco. In the ring, Vince first said that he was born in North Carolina, then he said that the very notion that he would "screw anybody out of their world title" was insulting. Ross mumbled something about "time honored tradition". - Sable was seen backstage in the Hotline room. FIFTH MATCH: The LOD 2000 vs the New Age Outlaws (WWF World Tag Team Title Match). Road Dog came out first and claimed to have convinced a hometown favorite out of retirement for tonight's match. Then he introduced Dean Smith. "Bad Ass" Billy Gun came out with a blow up doll dressed in a NC college shirt and shorts. The fans reacted angrily enough. The LOD 2000 and Sunny came out to a nice pop, then things got underway. Highlights & Lowlights: -Ross seemed rather disgusted by the words "Mr. Ass" imprinted on Billy's tuckus. -Hawk and Animal dominated early on with their power moves. -The LOD tried to wrap things up early by attempting the "Devastation Device" on Bad Ass. Road Dog stopped it by cutting Animal off at the knees. -The NAO spent a good chunk of the match working on Animal's knee. -When Hawk got in there, he performed a top rope belly splash on Road Dog. I believe that it was a first. The ending came when Hawk gave Road Dog a German Suplex, the held his shoulders down for the pin. The ref made the three count, and everyone thought that the LOD won. Unfortunately, the ref was looking at Hawk's shoulders and judged that they were pinned. So he gave the match to the Outlaws. The thing is, Hawk's right shoulder was clearly up. A pretty dumb way to end things. After the match, Hawk and Animal freaked out and gave the ref the "Devastation Device". Slaughter and the troops charged and the ref was loaded on a stretcher. - another spot for "Over the Edge" - As they worked on getting the downed ref on the stretcher, Ross and Lawler examined the controversial ending. - Tennessee Lee introduced Jeff Jarrett and Sawyer Brown. They sang their song straight up. It was lip synched all the way, and I even doubt that Jarrett actually contributed in any way. After the song, Steve Blackman came out and attacked Jarrett. After Tennessee Lee whalloped him with a guitar, Jarrett put him in the Figure Four. The fans chanted for "FLAIR", and Jarrett screamed, "BRING HIM ON". The announcers ignored that little incident. - A video collage of the Undertaker/Kane war. Which killed time while they set up the fire around the ring. SIXTH MATCH: The Undertaker vs Kane (Inferno Match) Four columns of metal was laid out along the ring. Once the wrestlers were in the ring, the columns would emit a steady stream of fire. After a big bump, someone backstage would hit the gas and the fire would rise up past the top ring rope. Both men came to the ring in their usual manner, and the fire wrapped around the ring. Highlights & Lowlights: -It was pretty to look at, but the fire seemed rather harmless enough. -The first fire "pop" came after the UT walked the top rope and jumped onto Kane. -Kane clearly had the advantage early on, he seemed impossible to stop. -Both men seemed to be gasping for air. It must have been very hot in there. -After performing a Russian Legsweep, the UT followed with a leg drop. Kane sat right up. -Both men exchanged choke slams, then they knocked each other down with a double boot to their faces. -Kane tried to climb to the top rope, but the UT shook the ropes and made him slip. Then the UT gave Kane GREAT looking Superplex. -UT threw Kane over the top rope and out of the ring. Kane began to walk away to the backstage. He was attacked by VADER, who pounded him back to the ring floor. Vader held Kane up for the UT, who dove over the top rope and slammed into both of them. Nice spot. -After chairing Kane down, the UT chased Paul Bearer to the stage used by Sawyer Brown. It was extremely awkward watching Bearer waddle up the stage and the UT chaing him, but not too quickly. On the stage, UT dumped a drum on Bearer's head and started to poke him with a mic stand. The camera watched Bearer's face as blood began to trickle down from the blade job that he gave himself. The match closed down when the UT got back to his brother at ringside. As he was dealing with Bearer, Kane managed to wrap something that looked like Saran Wrap around his arm and roll it on the fire. Kane ran off with his arm on fire and the UT was declared the winner. Good moments mixed in with ludicrous moments. Not very well done. - as they cleared away the fire columns, they showed a video clip of Austin's problems with McMahon. SEVENTH MATCH: Dude Love vs "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship Match). Dude Love came to the ring first. Austin followed suit. Love attacked Austin as he was pumping his fists to the fans and it was on. Highlights & Lowlights: -This was easily Austin's best match since getting injured at Summerslam. He seemed completely healed and took some hard bumps. -At one point, Love started to run backstage. Austin chased him and clotheslined him from behind. The spot was an awesome sell. -Austin hiptossed Dude Love off the stage and onto the concrete floor. It was a good 7-10 foot drop. Love landed squarely on his hip. -Midway through he match, Vince McMahon came out with Patterson and Brisco. They set a chair up at ringside and Vince took his seat. He nodded at the Timekeeper. -Austin saw McMahon and started to whip Dude Love's leg and arm into the ring post, turning around to smile at Vince. -After Love beat on Austin a little on the outside, Vince walked over their and started to trash talk Stone Cold. -Love put Austin in the Abdominal Stretch. Vince yelled at the Timekeeper to ring the bell and stop the match. Austin reversed the hold before the Timekeeper could ring it. -After the ref went down by accident, Austin tried to use McMahon's chair to hit Love. Vince grabbed the chair and started to fight Austin for it. Love managed to get it and use it himself. -Every time Love tried to hit Austin with the chair, Austin got an elbow up and blocked it. Eventually, Austin got the chair and was about to hit Love with it. Unfortunately, Vince was trying to help Dude Love up at the time. Seeing the opportunity, Austin cranked Vince with a chair right on his head. It was a great chair shot. Vince was out cold. The end came quickly after that. Austin threw Dude Love back in the ring and scored the Stunner on him. With the ref still out, Austin made the count himself and they played his music. As Austin celebrated, WWF officials attended to Vince. They spent a few minutes watching Vince get loaded on a stretcher, and the announcers pondered whether Austin intentionally hit Vince with the chair. The show ended on that note. Much like last week's WCW PPV, this one suffered from a dead crowd. Other than a few pops in the usual places, the crowd seemed sound asleep. It just goes to show that wrestling thrives on crowd response, and is noticeably lacking when the crowd isn't there. Some of the matches could have been better, and the only truly great match was the main event. Not a bad effort, but one that could have used a louder house. That's about all I can say. This is Hyatte