Raw Mop Up ... by Chris Hyatte

Raw 4/20/98...Wrapping up the big show -another thing with Val Venis...this time, Venis was in a car and was pretending that some chicky was giving him.....ummm....errr......familypagefamilypagefamilypage.........ahhhhh... ...well.....she was helping him "shift gears" in his car...how's that? -Marc Mero came out...and asked if the folks wanted to see Sable. They said yes. -so he brought out Sable...the nutshell of this was that Sable was so sick of Mero's attitude towards her that she challenged him to a match in two weeks on RAW...(OH FOR THE LOVE OF...FER CHRISSAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY RIP OFF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) -Somewhere in California...Ike Turner just got on the phone to Mero....he has all sorts of advice for that boy. -backstage, Vince was giving Brisco a "peptalk". -commercials -footage from earlier with Vince and Brisco...focusing heavily on the "Austin can't lay a hand on you" policy. -Gerald Brisco came to the ring in ref uniform. -Goldust came out with Luna -Austin came out. -Vince came running out with a spring in his step....(he must have just came from a quick little "conference call" with Pat Patterson). He gave the timekeeper the night off...(and docked his pay in the process...Vince ain't no philanthropist) and took over those duties..the match was on. -and geeze..it wasn't that bad at all! Austin took some hard bumps...and looked pretty good doing so... -at one point, Goldust had Austin in a sleeper/chinlock....Vince was ready to hit the bell and end it. -So...the BIGGEST question of the night (and mayhaps the YEAR) is....is Austin ripping off the "spear"..or is Goldberg ripping off the "Lou Thesz Press"? -Austin stunned Goldust and went for the pin...Brisco took his sweet ass time getting there..then took his sweet ass time counting to 2....the time continued to be "sweet ass" when... -Brisco stopped the count and acted as if soemthing was in his eye(Impossible....he keeps those buggers half closed ALL THE TIME!!!) -30 miles up the road, Bischoff was watching this..he knocked Nick Patrick across the head and screamed, "WHY COULDN'T YOU DO THAT AT STARRCADE????????" -Dude Love ran to the ring and attacked Austin....one thing led to your mother and... -Vince ended up hitting Brisco over the head with the title belt...Austin's music played as Vince cradled his "friend". Brisco was bleeding from the blow (oh crap....ANOTHER LAWSUIT!!! That makes at least 3 for tonight ALONE!!!!). As Ross screamed bloody murder, and Vince acted all a'flustered..the show ended. Well, it was a solid show. The main event was a juicy extension of Sunday's PPV, and DX's Nitro assault was all sorts of fun. Whether you're pro-WWF or anti-WWF..you have to admit, they are on quite a roll. Vince is balancing 3-4 main event angles and giving them all some proper attention. Nitro was only on for one hour tonight..so there will be no who gets the night being played over here...besides..Nitro pretty much sucked tonight. Admit it....it's okay...they had no reason to be good. Read the closer and I'll see you tomorrow with the rest of the Nitro show. It's poll time....and this is a good one. The first poll I ever did asked the burning question.."Who is the ICON?" Reaction was great, but this time around..it should be even better. Now look...I'm just like you. I surf around and check out other web sites. I NEVER vote for any polls, or write to web masters, or anything else like that...except for the most occasional of times. I tell you this because the Mop-Up....more than any other web recap out there...relies on INTERACTION. I thrive on your input....that's pretty much clear by now right? Good....so now it's poll time...and I need your votes. If you have ever written to me before....with a hate letter or a good one..then do it again. I want EVERYONE who has ever written to me..or has NEVER written to me before....if you're reading this right now...I'm begging you to vote...I'll make it as easy as possible...just click on my name...write your vote..and send it off. It's THAT simple. I WILL NOT RESPOND back if it's just a name. You'll feel all sorts of good because you helped out with the coolest recap on the web (a personal opinion...but screw it...). Have I made my point loud and clear? VOTE!!! PLEASE!!! Vote on what though? Glad you asked. More so than ever..this sport seems to be overrun by massive EGOS. Everywhere you look, in either federation, folks are running around who refuse to job, who thumb their nose at the rules...and who give Vince and Eric big time headaches. So, the question I ask you is...just who in wrestling has the biggest EGO? I'll list some names for you.. 1) Hulk Hogan: Let's see. He's the biggest name is the business. He controls his own angles and match finishes, he made Nick Patrick blow the "fast count" controversy by having him count his Sting pin cleanly...making the Bret Hart run in look awkward. He's staying away from the next PPV and rumors fly that it's because Nitro's schedule is all messed up and it won't be able to properly hype the event. His responsible for the career of Ed Leslie. He IS WCW right now. And when he talks about his worshippers and his "disciples"...do you REALLY think it's ALL an act? 2) Eric Bischoff: Frequently overrides the decisions of his bookers for his own whims. Claims to have the "pulse of the fans"..then drags his angles on forever. Fired Sean Waltman because he can...and because Hall and Nash needed a power display. Inserts himself into angles...then thinks that he belongs there. Gave himself the SECOND to last match at Starrcade...even though he is not a wrestler. Then of course, there is the whole Ric Flair lawsuit. See's himself as the "Vince McMahon of the new Millenium"....and demands that he be treated that way. Latched onto to Hulk Hogan's coattails and plans on riding them forever. 3) Vince McMahon: His biggest ego problem is that he thinks he's smarter than he actually is. He is a damn near genius, but his booking strategies and gimmicks for his wrestlers run helter skelter. Some of them work out great, (Undertaker, Steve Austin), but then others crash and burn (Adorable Adrian? The Body Donnas? The Beverly Brothers? DOINK"??). Also, you have to pull his teeth to get him to admit that WCW exists....and then he would only mention Turner's name...NOT Bischoff's. 4) Shawn Michaels: Hates to be pinned, can't stand it in fact. Put on quite a show of pain during his match with Steve Austin at Wrestlemania...some say perhaps too much...as if he did it to intentionally set up a pin. Never lost to the Undertaker...even though he really should have during the "Hell in the Cell"...single handidly was responsible for running Bret Hart out of the WWF....told Vince that it was either "him or me"...Vince chose Michaels...will you? 5) Triple H: Would still be a mid carder star jobber were it not for his Amazon assistant...as well as an affilaiation to the Clique. Much like Ed Leslie...was hired because Michaels wanted him in. Not a bad wrestler, and not a bad talker, but not very charismatic. A lot bigger than he should be... 6) Bret Hart: Things would have been a Hell of a lot smoother if he simply agreed to job top Shawn Michaels in Canada. He didn't and Vince had to pull off the screwjob of the century. That's the very definition of ego. 7) Taz: A mean guy who is always in a bad mood. Can beat up just about everyone in ECW and he knows it. He doesn't job all that often either. 8) Shane Douglas: The most vocal egomaniac in wrestling. Is the William Shatner of Pro wrestling, meaning that he loves the sound of his own voice. Doesn't have a good thing to say about basically anyone in the Big Two....the thing is...he isn't even all that good a wrestler! If he were a mute...then his career would be finished. 9) Sting: Took 18 months off, came back worse than ever. Was the first million dollar man in WCW. Constantly gives the "Crotch Chop", refers to Scott Hall as "Chico", and plays 18 rounds of golf on a hip that hurt too much to wrestle with. We don't hear much about him backstage, but he could be a dark horse. 10) Kevin Nash: Bischoff had to fire his best friend to get him under control. Vince had to go on the house show tour to control his attitude when he was in the WWF. A member of the Clique who thinks nothing of throwing a pie in Piper's face and poking fun at Falir and Arn Anderson. In the ring, he is a sure fire ratings getter....and he has no problems flaunting that knowledge outside the ring. 11) Chris Hyatte: 'nuff said. Of course, you can pick anyone you like....just don't vote for TWO people...TIES are NOT accepted. And don't bitch at me for my above comments...I was simply giving you as many options as possible. Remember..this may be the last poll the Mop-Up ever gives out..so do me a favor and help me out. Consider it a thank you gift for me trying to entertain you lo these many months...and on that note. I was as shocked as anyone when Al announced that SCOOPS may be closing up shop. Hopefully, everything will work out and we'll be here for a long time to come. However, there is a very real possiblity that Al says goodbye in June. Which mean that I have a decision to make. I am totally willing to do whatever it takes to keep this thing going, but what if it's not enough? Do I take this dog and pony show to another web site? Would anyone take me? Do I really want to continue this outside of SCOOPS? (No way in Hell I'm opening my own site..so forget that). I need to weigh my options and think this over clearly. But one thing is for DAMN sure... Al said that SCOOPS isn't going down without a fight... Well, I'm not going down without taking some folks with me. I'm going down swinging. This is Chris Hyatte
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