WWF BREAKDOWN ... by Chris Hyatte
Madison Square Garden - 8/30/98
-opens with a video production focusing on Vince McMahon's "Master Plan". Along with previously used footage, it also incorporates sound bites from Martin Luther King and JFK.
-Opening theme
-Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Hamilton, Ontario Canada.
-plenty of "Jim Carrey fears Jerry Lawler" signs are seen.
FIRST MATCH: The Edge Vs Owen Hart
Edge comes to the ring through the seats. He receives a respectable pop from the fans. Owen Hart comes out wearing a Toronto Argonauts football jersey. He looked as if he was expecting the fans to go nuts for their Canadian son, but instead he was met with boos and chants of "NUGGET". He responded accordingly.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-Arm bars from both men dictated the opening moments.
-An Edge baseball slide helped to set up a ring apron cross body block onto Owen, who was on the outside. Owen caught Edge and turned it into a nasty powerslam.
-Owen controlled things for much of the match, which was a little on the slow side.
-Edge escaped from an Owen "Victory Roll". Ross was quick to point out that Bret Hart once fell victim to that very move.
-Owen climbed to the top rope, but Edge grabbed him and delivered a nice face first powerslam from the shoulders.
-Edge jumped off the top rope onto Owen. Owen got out of the way right before impact and cheered himself for it. However, Edge landed on his feet, and caught Owen with a DDT.
-In a very Schiavone like move, Lawler promised to have a lot to say about Jim Carrey on RAW tomorrow night, and even said that Carrey may show up too.
-Edge went for a Superplex, but Owen threw him back on the mat. Owen jumped off, Edge stuck up his legs, Owen caught the legs and tried to put him in the Sharpshooter. Edge kicked him away and tried for a roll up, Owen kicked out.
The ending came when someone showed up at ringside and stared at Edge. The guy looked like Poison's Bret Micheals dressed as the Disciple. Edge stared at the guy long enough for Owen Hart to roll him up from behind and score the win. Edge left the ring and immediately started to
look for this stranger in the seats.
-Dok Hendrix and Sable hype up the Superstar line.
SECOND MATCH: Too Much Vs Scorpio and Al Snow.
Too Much (Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor) strutted to the ring looking like they were having a ball. Scorpio simply walked out and allowed Snow to shake his mannequin Head and soak up the solid pop he received. He is slowly but surely catching on. Ross commented that they were once in ECW together, to which Lawler snidely quipped, "Extremely Crappy Wrestling". After conversing with his Head for a bit, Snow stepped outside the ropes and Scorpio started things off with Taylor (Too Hot).
Highlights & Lowlights:
-Taylor and Scorpio's opening volley resembled the fluid grace of WCW's Cruiserweights.
-Snow and Christopher (Too Sexy) came in. Christopher helped sell the "HEAD" chants by freaking out.
-Snow threw a chair into the ring. Scorpio set it up in the middle. With Taylor in the corner, both men took turns using the chair to launch into him ALA Sabu. The chair gave out when Scorpio jumped off it, but he was still able to connect with a dropkick.
-Inside the ring, Scorpio connected with a beautiful top rope belly splash on Taylor, who kicked out of the follow up pin. Outside the ring, Snow hit Christopher with a Moonsault from the guardrail, which the camera totally missed.
-Snow and Scorpio performed as if they have been teaming for years.
-After Scorpio took a beating for a bit, Snow ran in with the Head and started to hit everyone, including Scorpio. Even after hitting his own partner, Snow still shook his Head in the sir.
-Snow tried to pin Taylor, but Christopher stopped it with a top rope legdrop. Christopher tried to pin Snow, but Scorpio stopped it with a top rope forearm.
A Snowplow on Taylor won the match. Afterwards, Scorpio bitched at Snow for hitting him with the Head as they walked away.
-Michael Cole talked to Kane and the Undertaker. The Undertaker dodged questions about which one of the two brothers would actually pin Austin and simply said that Austin would be "annihilated" later tonight.
THIRD MATCH: "Marvelous" Marc Mero Vs Darren "Droz" Drozdov
Mero came to the ring with the new WWF Women's champ Jacqueline. Having chosen to drop the nickname "Puke", Drozdov is now simply known as "Droz". He also came out with two new tattoos on his back.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-After taking a few clotheslines, Mero motioned to Jacky and took off. Droz chased him up the aisle and threw him back into the ring. Droz also warned Jacky to "keep your ass back".
-Mero brought back some of his high flying moves from his WCW days. Including the Plancha on the outside and the belly splash from over the top rope. Unfortunately, that belly splash landed on Droz upraised knees.
-Mero choked Droz with his wrist tape. As the ref made him unwrap it, Jacky climbed to the top rope and nailed Droz with her high heel.
Mero won this match with the "Marvelocity". Which he used to call the "Wild Thing", and it is now called the "Shooting Star Press" by Kidman over in WCW. The match was boring and the fans were nowhere near into it, but it's nice to see Mero get a win for once.
-spot for a DX T-shirt
FOURTH MATCH: Vader Vs Bradshaw (Anything Goes Match)
Vader came out looking like he lost none of the weight they claimed he had. Michael Cole talked to Bradshaw, who was now clean shaven and sporting a shorter haircut. Bradshaw called Vader a "fat bastard" and made some more derogatory remarks about his weight. Bradshaw then hit
the ring and things got going.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-Right after their initial lockup, Vader started to grab his ear, as if Bradshaw scratched him.
-Both guys sold each other's shots well enough. Which helped Ross make sure that we knew that this was the very definition of a "slobberknocker".
-Bradshaw drove a monster boot into Vader's face. It looked as real as it gets.
-Bradshaw whacked Vader with the Timekeepers bell.
-Vader dropped half of the steps on Bradshaw's back.
-Both men enjoyed moments of control.
-Vader gave Bradshaw a second rope belly splash, then gave him the Vader Bomb. Bradshaw still kicked out.
The ending came after Bradshaw gave Vader two huge clotheslines, then gave him a standing neck breaker. All the while, Bradshaw was taunting Vader and telling him to "get up". He also called him a "bastard". Bradshaw scored the pin. Ross made it clear that this is what happens in the WWF when the younger and healthy gets it on with the old and out of shape.
-backstage at the WWF.com area. Kevin Kelly and Tom Pritchard talked to Jason Sensation, who went through a few impressions. His Jarrett impression was horrible.
FIFTH MATCH: D-Lo Brown Vs Gangrel
D-Lo shucked and jived to the ring with that rooster strut that he has perfected. Gangrel rose up from the floor and spit out his fake blood for his pre-match warm up. They wasted no time in getting going.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-Gangrel took things in hand early with a nice belly to belly suplex and a couple of rapid elbowdrops.
-D-Lo gave Gangrel a running powerslam that looked spectacular.
-Gangrel had D-Lo in the corner and tried to give him a second rope DDT, D-Lo shoved him away and Gangrel landed with a thud.
-D-Lo has mastered the fine art of yelling at the fans during his matches.
Mark Henry came out to help end the match. Once he had Gangrel outside, he tossed him around a bit, then sent him back into the ring. D-Lo then gave Gangrel a great Lowdown and scored the win. Although the match wasn't much, D-Lo is really becoming a major player. After the
match, Gangrel spit some of his blood at Henry, then gave D-Lo his Super DDT. Gangrel's music played as he walked away. Mark Henry acted like he was really blinded.
-footage from last week's RAW during the Rock, Mankind, Shamrock three way dance.
-Ross and Lawler kill time as the cage was lowered.
-Michael Cole talked to Ken Shamrock. Shamrock said that he was sick of getting burned and he would be taking his frustrations out inside the cage tonight.
-Dok Hendrix talked to the Rock. Maivia was in full character as he delivered this speech:
"You think the Rock could give two pieces of monkey crap about you Ken Shamrock and your little frustrations? Well make no mistake about it, tonight is gonna be the night of the Rock. So what the Rock wants to know is if you two candy ass jabronies don't have too much sugar in your testes. You come on out, you face the Rock two on one, make your monkey asses famous, ‘cause the Rock will be smack dab right in the middle of the People's cage. And what he plans on doing, is the Rock will take his right hand, the Rock will take his left hand, and then the Rock will commence on laying the smack down on both your monkey asses. Now what the Rock will do after that, is he's gonna raise the People's eyebrow, he's gonna drop the People's elbow, and one of you poor shmucks is gonna take the Rock Bottom right in the center of the ring. And then the Rock will proceed to climb the People's cage inch by inch by damn inch. And when it's all said and done. And all the people are through chanting the Rock's name. The smoke is cleared. You two jabronies will have joined the millions and millions of the Rock's fans who know damn well that the Rock is, and will forever be, and the Rock means forever be, the People's Champ!"
-Then Kevin Kelly talked to Mankind. When he asked Mankind what he was looking for tonight, Mankind answered:
"Well Kevin Kelly, I'm looking for an end to world hunger, but I don't really expect that to have that happen in this match. But I'm going to overlook the stupidity of this question because I'm used to stupidity all my life. When I broke Jo Jo Miller's guns
because I wanted them, in retrospect that was probably a stupid thing. When I saw a grown man urinating on an electric fence, I thought that that was a stupid thing. The President of this country, sacrificing a nation for a girl that even I would have turned down in High School is probably a stupid thing! But for all the stupid things that I've seen in my life, nothing rivals the People's Elbow for sheer stupidity! So if you think that Mankind in a pay per view match inside a steel cage is gonna lay down and sell that abortion, then you're even stupider than I look! And Ken Shamrock, as far as you looking out for blood? Well I've got news for you! You see, I have trained inside the museum with Spaceman Frank Hickey, and I am ready! Sugar coated testes? Is that a new breakfast cereal?"
SIXTH MATCH: The Rock Vs Ken Shamrock Vs Mankind (Triple Threat Cage match. Winner gets title shot on the next RAW)
Jim Ross and graphics explained that this would follow traditional cage rules. You can win by pin, submission, or when your feet touch the ring floor outside the cage. Shamrock went into then ring first, followed by Mankind. Then the Rock came out to the loudest pop of the night so far. No longer did the fans chant "ROCKY SUCKS". Shamrock and the Rock started going at it and the match began.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-As Shamrock and Maivia went at it, Mankind tried to sneak out of the cage, Maivia caught him in time.
-Maivia was the second man to try to get out through the door, Shamrock stopped him.
-In a horrible spot, as Shamrock has Mankind in an Abdominal Stretch, the Rock put Shamrock in an Abdominal Stretch of his own. The three stood there selling the move for much too long.
-The three men looked at each other unsure who to attack. Maivia made a deal with Mankind to attack Shamrock. As Mankind went to attack, Maivia double-crossed him an attacked Mankind instead.
-Shamrock crawled out of the door and made it halfway out before Maivia caught him.
-Mankind and the Rock did pull off some double teaming on Shamrock.
-Basically, every conceivable double team took place.
-How over was the Rock? The crowd booed every time he was getting tuned on. At one point, the fans even started a rather loud chant of, "SHAMROCK SUCKS". Shamrock walked around the ring looking amazed.
-After two DDTs and two bodyslams for positioning, the Rock performed a DOUBLE People's Elbow drop on both men. The crowd's pop was phenomenal.
-The Rock gave Mankind the Rock Bottom, Shamrock made the save.
-Shamrock put the Ankle Lock on Maivia, Mankind made the save.
-Mankind climbed to the top of the cage and paid homage to Jimmy Snuka with another attempt at flying elbow on the Rock, he missed and crashed to the ground..
-the Rock started to juice.
-Shamrock again almost made it out of the ring, but Mankind pulled him back in. Shamrock was able to grab a chair and bring it in with him.
-After a double underhook DDT on Shamrock, Mankind took the chair and whacked him with it. Shamrock went down hard off the nasty shot.
The match ended as Mankind was climbing down the cage onto the floor. Unfortunately, the Rock had managed to pin Shamrock before Mankind could get down and Maivia scored the win. After the match, Mankind started to yank his hair in anger. Shamrock "snapped" and started to freak out.
-spot for the next PPV: Judgment Day
-Shamrock was still snapping as Ross and Lawler tried to discuss the next match. When Shamrock came near them, all we could hear was Ross say to Lawler, "What? Don't use me as a shield, damn you!" Shamrock stormed off in a huff.
-video spot dealing with Val Venis and Dustin Runnels.
SEVENTH MATCH: Dustin Runnels Vs Val Venis
Dustin was in the ring with no theme music. His bowed his head and began to pray. The Venis came out with a microphone. Venis said, "Here she comes", and out came Terri Runnels, in a blue dress that revealed more than enough cleavage. The two were all over each other as they made their way to the ring, and Terri even made some use out of the microphone. Dustin quickly turned his back and began to pray, Venis hit the ring and waited for him to finish. The match was on.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-Venis opened early with a front suplex and some punches, but Dustin countered with a powerbomb and some punches of his own.
-Ross commented that Runnels was a two time former IC champ who had beaten Razor Ramon TWICE for the title. Why Ross would lie like that is beyond me.
-Venis dominated most of the match, Ross said that it was because Dustin was so distracted.
-Venis was tossed outside and a bit shaken up, Terri's caress helped re-energize him and helped Dustin's head explode.
A Money Shot scored the win for Venis and scored a job for Dustin. Afterwards, Terri and Venis "celebrated" in the ring some more....with tongue.
-video clips of DX's problems with Jarrett and Southern Justice.
EIGHTH MATCH: Jeff Jarrett and Southern Justice Vs X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws
Jarrett and his boys hit the ring. Then X-Pac came out alone. He got about half way there when Road Dog and Bad Ass attacked Jarrett and SJ from behind. The match got going.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-After clearing the ring, Bad Ass grabbed a mic and told SJ to suck it.
-Jarrett tried a Hurricarana on X-Pac, but it was turned into a seated Powerbomb.
-Jarrett is wrestling better than ever.
-X-Pac tried a flying spin kick on Mark Canterbury, but Canterbury caught it and turned it into a makeshift powerslam.
-Bad Ass saw little action as X-Pac worked the majority of the match, with Road Dog seeing some action too.
-Canterbury gave X-Pac a face first inverted slam.
-A Jarrett sleeper on X-Pac drained the energy from the crowd, which was already on low to begin with.
-Bad Ass finally got in there as X-Pac got to give Jarrett the Bronco Buster
-Jarrett was able to nail X-Pac with the guitar on the outside.
The match ended when Bad Ass pinned Dennis Knight after a Bulldog leg drop. Later, X-Pac was on the ground holding his eye. Ross hoped that he didn't have a piece of splinter in there. It took a while for them to leave, but X-Pac walked off on his own feet.
-video clip dealing with the main event.
NINTH MATCH: The Undertaker Vs Kane Vs "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (Triple Threat Rules for the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship)
Kane came out first. The announcers made a big deal about how the brothers did not come out together. Then the Undertaker came out. About halfway to the ring, Austin charged out with a chair and tagged him down. Austin then went right for Kane and the match began.
Highlights & Lowlights:
-UT stayed stunned for a while as Austin and Kane jammed
-UT finally made his way to the ring, but Austin still managed to hold his own for a while. He even got the Stunner off on Kane. The UT broke up the pin.
-At one point, the fans started to chant, "AUSTIN". A glare from the UT put a stop to it, much to Lawler's delight.
-UT hit Kane in the face by accident, they faced off.
-For the majority of the match, Kane and the UT dominated Austin, with the exception of a brief Austin rally every so often that never lasted.
-Slaughter, Patterson, and Brisco came out to watch the match from the entrance way.
-Austin managed to attack Brisco very briefly and get him on the ground.
-Funny sign seen that read, "AMERICA IS GAY".
-Back in the ring, Austin managed to nail Kane with a chair.
-Then, the Undertaker took the same chair and whacked Austin with it.
-UT tried to pin Austin, but Kane pulled him off.. A face off followed.
-Kane tried to pin Austin. The same thing happened. Only this time, UT attacked Kane when his back was turned.
-This led to Kane and Austin double teaming the UT for a while.
-Eventually, Kane and UT resumed the double team, with the occasional backstab.
The end came after Austin was beaten down some more. Then the boys gave him a double chokeslam and they both pinned him. The ref made the three count and Austin had lost the title. Who the champion was is another story. Vince McMahon ran out and grabbed the WWF belt and took off with it. Austin chased after him and took out Slaughter, Patterson and Brisco along the way. We see Vince run into a limo with the belt and shut the door. Austin kept walking until he turned a corner. Vince was out of the car holding the belt and screaming, "IT'S MINE, IT'S MINE". Then we see Vince give Austin a big middle finger, get into the car and tell the driver to take off. The show ended on that note.
I should point out that at one point tonight, Lawler cracked up at a sign in the arena that read, "HULK-A-MANIA", goofing on how out of touch Canada is. Ross asked if someone's grandfather was holding it. The crowd was dead, horribly dead. The biggest pop of the night was
for the Rock. Other than that and the other usual moments, they seemed to be sleeping. The matches were, for the most part boring and pointless. A sign I saw that read, "D-LO VS GANGREL WHO CARES?" pretty much summed it up. Vader jobbing was a crime and Dustin jobbing was a shame. At least Edge and Gangrel were handed their first loses, so no Goldbergs there. The cage match was completely outstanding, but not enough to save this show. Blow off the replay, unless you really want to chart the development of Maivia's rise to mega stardom.
This is Hyatte