Nitro Mop Up ... by Chris Hyatte

Read the RAW Mop-Up first...10/14/98 Mop-Up Nitro NOTE: Trust me on this...if you usually blow off the RAW Mop-Up for one reason or another...I urge you to PLEASE READ IT THIS TIME AROUND!!! You'll have no idea what the theme here is without it. Well, we got some good news and bad news here. The good news is that this is Chicago....a take no crap, this better be good or we'll hammer your ass type of town. A great element to be in if Bischoff blows chunks tonight. The bad news...THIS is the town that supports Mancow.....a friggin' wannabe hack radio host who is nowhere near as funny as he seems to think he is. Sometimes I want to cheer, "GOD BLESS CHI-TOWN!!!!!" Other times, I want to scream, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????" Chicago...a cacophony of both tremendous pride, and ridiculous loyalty. Oh yeah, New York Pizza ROCKS over Chicago Pizza. But I do love your town.....a spent a month there one weekend that I will never forget. -Incidentally, during my 15 minute rest between Raw and Nitro...Beer #10 killed, Beer #11 opened, Beer #11 killed, Beer #12 open...I have broken the half case barrier... Repeat....I have broken the half case barrier! NITRO (or Where's Harrison Ford when you need him?) -Opens with Eric Bischoff lecturing and admittance guard NOT to let in a certain big nosed gentleman with white hair. As is the painfully obvious story of Uncle Eric's life..the guard had no clue who he was. -Oh...if this isn't a gathering on unHoly politic worms...then I don't know what is. Bischoff steps outside to instruct the Dark Chyld Dillenger, who had surrounded himself with some stormtrooper minions from the deepest, darkest cavities of Hell (I SWEAR I think Hitler is one of the guards). Uncle Eric, who has no clue what he's dealing with, tells the Dark Prynce that if Flair shows up, stop him. -Ah...things look promising for the night....Bischoff is cut off mid scene to show footage from last week where Sting is being helped onto a stretcher after the beating he took from Bret Hart that night. Sting's having trouble moving. -Tony's having no trouble speaking.....as he quickly explains to us everything that has gone on in the last 30 seconds. -Beer #12 decimated, moving along.... -Beer #13 opened. -Tony promptly stomps out all possible hope by announcing that they are indeed on for 3 solid hours tonight. -The Nitro Girls do the best they can to entertain a crowd looking for nipples. -spot for Halloween Havoc....this time the make it clear that the "forgotten soul" they've been rambling about is indeed, Mr. BigWords Warrior.... -Geeze..I THINK they also offered a PPV screening of "Bride of Chucky" if you order HH? Why else would there be a spot for the flick right there in the middle? -"Bride of Chucky" on PPV? DID BISCHOFF PRODUCE THIS MOVIE?? IS STING IN IT? IS THERE AN UNUSUAL AMOUNT OF SLIM JIM REFERENCES IN IT????? -First hour fireworks go off....we are nowhere near over yet kids. -Tony promised us three hours of some of "the most exciting wrestling action you'll find ANYWHERE (including thatnohgoodusanetworkshowwhichalltheydoisshowtittyshotsandmiddlefingerswehereatwc wcan'tbelieveyouwouldpayanyattentiontothatgarbage) -Larry says hullo to his....heh...fans as Tony announces that Goldberg will be defeating the Giant later tonight in a NO DQ match. -The majority of the Sting/Hart fracas from last week is re-burned into our memories. -Larry pontificated that because Bret never came to the ring last week, that the Scorpion Deathlock has simply GOT to be the greatest variation of that move EVER. -footage from Thunder dealing with Bret Hart. I didn't watch it then, I ain't watching it now. -Video compilation of the whole double cross between Hart/Hogan and Sting.....there is no reason on Earth why I should like it...but BY GOD!!! I DO!!!!!!!!!! -commercials -footage from WCW's takeover of the New York Stock Exchange with the new WCW Credit Cards.......rumors that the WCW credit card caused all businesses in Stamford Connecticut to simultaneously fail in unison were INACCURATE!!! (and NOT started or confirmed by Al Isaacs)...although I'm SURE they were shooting for that goal. -Now is the time I go on two completely unrelated to the show subjects... 1: I saw Goldberg in a brief interview with a VERY local Indy company in Rhode Island (the fed practically DEFINES the phrase "low rent"). Goldberg was totally in kayfabe and sounded as normal, and as polite as can be...he also chew tobacco like a motherf***er. 2: Last Christmas, Bischoff told his athletes that there was no sense in jumping to the WWF because, "they will fold in 6 months"..that was 10 MONTHS AGO!!!!! F-YOU Bischoff. -Back to the beaten path. during he footage of the Credit Card promo campaign, Hogan and Page were seen palling around with each other...why you ask? easy...because even though they HATE, DESPISE, AND LOATH EACH OTHER WITH A PASSIONATE VENGENCE!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$ are always $$$. -Opening theme -Tony finds the balls to call Nitro "Number 1 in pro wrestling!! The reason? Number 1 in pro wrestling around the world!!!!!!!" Then reminds us that they are live each and every week and that Vince can go F-Himself. -Then Tony asks the burring question..."Can ANYONE stop MENG????" -footage from Thunder...where Meng refused to allow Chris Adams to job out his match without a pre-requisite pounding. -alas...Wrath didn't take too kindly to that...he wanted to be the one that Adams jobbed to. -Lodi came to the ring...with plenty o' signs...(I SWEAR...I can hear Bischoff actually tell him that he's gonna be bigger than the Rock once he's done with him). One sign read, "SHAMELESS PLUG: JOHN BOY AND BILLY ROC" (YEEEEAH baby.....ANYONE'S better than that Mancow loser -Wrath came to the ring.....Wrath entered the ring...Wrath stared at Lodi...Lodi held up another sign....Wrath attacked Lodi......do the math. -Wrath pinned Lodi...Lodi never had a chance to call anyone a "jabrony".......maybe next time. -Meng showed up to get the angle going...Wrath obliged...they fought....it would have been interesting to see..so you know that means.... -cut to footage from last Monday dealing with Bischoff and Flair's kid. -commecials -Spot for Goldberg and Page's HH match....does anyone care? I mean, does anyone think that Page could possibly win against this marketing Cain Marko? -Oh Christ.....look at what we got here...Kendell Windham Vs some guy named Dale Torborg. Now, Tony hyped this Torborg as a member of the WCW Pitcrew with Lance Hooper's car, who's also been honing his skills in the WCW Powerplant. -So...in case you didn't follow along, Bischoff was in his office, looking through old WWF tapes. he took one look at "Sparkplug" Bob Holly and said, "There, you see? Another Vince error. He had a good idea, a "race car driving wrestler' and totally blew it! Well, I'll show him how to REALLY make a successful racing car/wrestler and once again, the world will SEE MY BRILLIANCE AND LAUGH AT VINCE'S FAILURES!!!!!!!! NNNNYAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA" -So who pays for this? Us! We do...the hard, tax paying folks in the Good Ol' US of A..we have to watch this! -Okay, after a looooooooong match, Torborg gave Windham a Ralph Macchio Pelican Kick and scored the pin...he also seemed to have twisted his knee in the process...because he writhed in pain as he crawled over Windham for the count. Of course, I wish nobody ill will...but in this case......well, you know -With a last name like Torborg...you'd think he'd just assimilate Windham into the Collective and be done with it? -Oh yes....Windham looked PISSED that he had to lay down for such a weak ass pin, but he did the job correctly and got paid for it -It's the Nitro party...where you too can be humiliated in front of millions. -Footage from a Nitro Party.....where kids risked the wrath of their parents by playing with fireworks on their front porch. -commercials -even though the announcer booth lights haven't gone up yet, that doesn't stop Tony from hyping away like his mortgage depended on it. -Tenay said that "Diamond" Dallas Page has been "classified as the Hardest Working Man in pro wrestling today! Who made that classification? The same people who classified Zimmerman as the "Master of the Non-Wrestling Tangent"? -Footage from some friggin' show dealing with some friggin' thing involving Page and friggin' Goldberg. -Sting comes out.....Tony acts amazed. -Sting hits the ring with a mic...Tenay advises us to hit the record button on our VCR for this RARE OPPORTUNITY TO HEAR STING SPEAK FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Sting opens his yap and challenges both Hogan and Bret Hart for pair of beating later tonight...he said he was "checking off the days until he could come on and challenge them"....he couldn't just show up on Thunder now could he? Naaaaah -By the way, say goodbye to Beer #13... -and say hello to Beer #14 -Then out comes the Warrior to stick his snout into things and to give Tony a coronary by offering his tag services for tonight. -Amusing little aside from the Warrior, "Sting, I think you'll have to agree with me. It's amazing how far a little dab of paint will take you." -So...did anyone else think that the Warrior's speech was too long, too contrived, and too NWWWOish to be simply a spontaneous reaction to Sting challenge to Hogan and Hart? -Another "special look" at Goldberg and Page for Halloween Havoc...nope, still don't care. -8:48 and the second hour goes off....I have NEVER FELT SO RIPPED OFF IN ALL MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (well, except for that time the Hooker did that thing to my......well...no need to get into that now is there?) -With RAW breathing down our necks..Tony told us that they had the makings of "one of the BIGGEST tag team matches in the HISTORY of Nitro!!!!" -Tenay recants the story behind Sting and the Warrior. This is important because Michael Buffer fu**s it up later. -Hendrix blares...outcomes comes Bischoff doing an airplane. Out comes Hogan jamming on an invisible guitar...the Giant comes out with them looking pretty miserable if you ask me. -Hogan announces that he loves Bischoff and plants a wet one on his head, Bischoff giggles that he is the "luckiest person alive"....of course, any boner he may be popping is mostly because he knew what kind of nasty ass heel stunt he has in store for himself tonight that will DEFINITELY MAKE HIM *THE* HEEL PROMOTER IN THE SPORT OF WRESTLING TODAY!!!!!!!! -The make there way to the ring....Bischoff gets pelted with a cup of liquid and reacts to it happily, which would invite more people to take target practice on him....but if that's what he wants, then who am I to argue? -In the ring, Bischoff thanked the fan for the Miller light bath, but told him that he was a "Coors Light guy"...of course, like I said once before.....last I heard, Coors Lights Brewing refused to hire black people....you know what that means right? -I don't know what it Fu&^%$# means....I'm sick of this crap.... -Beer #13 squashed BABY!!! -Look out...here comes Beer #14!!!!!!! -Hogan accepted the challenged, ranted some, raved some..and said that the Giant would take out Goldberg. The Giant looked like he was imagining life as an "Oddity". I'd tell you more, but I don't want to..so there -The interview slipped into a spot where Bischoff ran waaay backstage to deal with some troubles in the back.... -he walked outdoors to see Dillenger and his Minions in an unHoly Trinity Prayer as a Imo was pulling up. Unaware of the Demonic implications, Bischoff broke it up and demanded that if Flair is in that Limo..then they should Goddam well make sure his old ass is told to leave.....Caught in mid trance, the AntiChrist was slow to respond... -The limo parked and Flair got out...Bischoff told him to turn tail and run...Flair brought out someone else from the car... -Bruce Wertz Mac...something or your mother...like I care. He held out his hand to Bischoff...Bischoff refused to shake it. Wertz told Bischoff that this was his building, Bischoff said that it was his "Mommy and Daddy's building" and besides, he leased it for the night, so it was his building -Wertz took a sec to point out that the Untied Center was home to the Blackhawks, and the "6 time champion Chicago Bulls"......Bischoff continued to act bratty, (is this the image he really wanted to portray himself? I always thought Bischoff fancied himself as a much cooler customer? -Things progressed until Wertz told Eric that he owned the building and owned the Skybox above it...so the Horsemen are going to get in whether Eric liked it or not. -Eric didn't like it and at least one security guard didn't like it either. He tried to block their path, but some cross sternations (is that even a word?) from Wertz, and a reminder from Anderson that this bit has to end in about 30 seconds.....he let them pass. -The Horsemen and friends went up the stairs while Bischoff screamed...Benoit looked at Bischoff, stuck his hand out and said, "Yadda, yadda, yadda, talk to the hand"...excuse me while I rewind the tape several times to make sure my ears and ears weren't lying to me.... -............................................ -........................................... -...................................Oh man...we are witnessing the Americanization of Chris Benoit.....ANOTHER POOR SOUL DESCENDS INTO THE GUTTER OF WORLD CULTURE!!!!!!! -Yeah, but too damn bad the world lives or dies on OUR SAY SO!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Speaking of lost souls....Beer #14: We hardly knew ye -It's like 10 PM......there's still time for this.....if you will allow me a moment, I am going to call my girlfriend and see if there is still a chance.....hang on.... -................ - - -Her phones ringing...I have a head set on so I can type and talk at the sam HI..is Amy there? It's Chris. Chris Hyatte. - - -Hi..how are you? A little. I'm doing something for the column. It's a test. -Why not? Oh come on. You still love me right? What? What? Huh? -What's his aname....I mean name. What's his name? -I don't care if it's been 5 months..you and me..we were tight man. We shared something. We shared something nice. Yeah? WELL I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE IF I'VE BEEN DRINKING DAMMIT, I KNOW WHAT I F***ING KNOW!!!! -Yeah? WELL F**K YOU TOO YOU BITCH. I HOPE YOU GET NO, NO..I DON'T WISH ANYTRHING on you. I just want to....yeah? WELL SCREW YOU TOO..YOU TURNED MY GUTS OUT!!! GOODBYE! BITCH!!! - - -hang on a sec....pee break. -Beer # uhhhh...I forget is killed..as is the Beer after that. Let me find out where I'm at. -Okay, Beer #17 is opened. I may have to nurse this for a bit.... - -Beer #17 is killt Beer #18 is on board -Let's get back to the show for Chrissakes -Bischoff continued on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on....oh will you SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -commercials -Video spot of Hogan/Warrior...think they'll have 15 minute rest holds THIS time around? -Why did I call her? Jesus that was bright. -footage from last week, dealing with the Warrior....as a bonus, we were treated to that ABSOLUTELY RETARDED scene where the Warrior was in the mirror, Hogan and the rest of the free-speaking world saw it (except for those damn CANADIANS......and that SLUT EX-GIRLFRIEND of mine!!!!!) except for Bischoff, who drew upon his Strasburg trained skills and played dumb (t'wasn't a stretch) -Fit Finlay made his Nitro return and hit the ring. He was mouthing off to the fans. I bet he smokes like 2 packs a day. -We see footage from some other time where Wright gave the Bulldog a feud to play with while he waits for his contract to expire. -Alex Wright came to the ring to take on Finlay. He grabbed the mic and interrupted Tony mid-plug...GOD BLESS YOU ALEX WRIGHT!!!!!!!! -Wright bitched about this and moaned about that. I guess Eric is as offended as the rest of the World that D-Lo Brown is the European champion...and is fixin' to set the record straight as to who is the real European (I'mapean european hesapean, sheasapean, wouldn't ya like to be apean too?) man is. -After bragging about beating Norman Smiley. Hell, that ain't nothing...Sean Shannon beats off to Norman Smiley......that's no big deal........ahhh...that should be BEAT Norman...not beats off to... -Yeah...he's got a chance against me. -He also bragged about beating the British "Jellyfish"...then asked Finlay if he was the guy who ended his Pappy's career, Finlay said, "Beggorrah luv, he put a bloody pipe bomb in me bloomin' Voltzwagon, I had t' defend me bloody family ya know"...then they attacked each other... -Wright pinned Finlay with some help from the ropes...then the Bulldog came out and attacked the Kraut... -Bulldog and Finlay beat Wright out of the ring, then Finlay attacked DBS, "Oy, ye na gonna sucka me like ya bloomin' country sucka'd sunny Ireland a hunnerd beedin' years ago ya bloody carpet smoocha!!!" Then Finlay left and the Bulldog looked very, very depressed. -commercials -I'm still working on Beer #18...in case you were wondering (lousy bitch). -ocrapocrapocrapocrapocrapocrapocrapocrap..... -Who should be leading La Parka and Ciclope out for a 6 man Luchador war but.....the dreaded VILLANO V...... -ATTENTION CHICAGO!!!!!!! ALTHOUGH BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, THE COAST SHOULD BE CLEAR....IT IS MY DUTY TO INFORM YOU THAT THERE HAS BEEN A "FAMILIA" SIGHTING IN THE DOWNTOWN AREA!!!! PLEASE, DO NOT BE ALARMED AND GO ABOUT YOUR REGULAR BUSINESS, BUT IF SAID BUSINESS INVOLVES ANY SORT OF ILLEGAL ACTIVITES (and this IS Chicago after all), THEN BY ALL MEAN..TAKE A GODDAM VACATION FOR A FEW WEEKS AND PLEASE RECONSIDER YOUR CAREER PATH!!!!!! -I don't know why Villano I (The Godfather) has sent V to the Windy City....BUT IF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ELIMINATION OF MANCOW...THEN BY ALL MEANS.....GO FOR IT...VIVA LA CARTEL...VIVAL LA FAMILIA!!!!! -Of course, this match (against Chavo Jr, Super Calo, and Pyschosis) was only secondary to the Familia's TRUE mission, but when I know, you'll know.....(or maybe you won't...why should I tell you? You never did anything for ME!) -The match began, continued, and ended with V shrewdly giving orders to everyone...even though he looked like an ordinary clown with a mask...it lasted as long as it was supposed to last..... -Then Chavo pinned Ciclope. Eddie and his LWO troop marched in....(ahhh..the plot thickens....does Eddie REALLY think he's ready to face the Familia yet? IS HE REALLY THAT LOCO?????) -Guess not, he ignored everyone and just recruited Psychosis. Chavo kept playing with his Horse, ("Look ese, you may be doing this new LWO thing, but until Eric tells me to stop stroking my shaft, I'm gonna keep doing it...comprende?") -Meanwhile, during his "AntiBischoff speech.....a huge tub of something bounced into the ring. -And before any of this happened, we saw the Horsemen frolicking with some of Chicago's finest escorts in the Lux Box (Methinks SOMEONE has put their WCW credit card to good use) -Meanwhile again, Villano V watched all this...made no sudden moves.....and planned......just watched and planned. -commercials -the Nitro Girl Chae got a solo shot because of her skills.....not dancing skills or anything...her "other" skills. -Scott Steiner hit the ring all alone. He's got bizness to take care of... -But not before goofing on the Chicago crowd!!!!! (and I can't think of a BETTER town more deserving of it...hee heeeee). -After having some fun with that, and after he did the "Venis light" thing and announced to us "phreaks" that Poppa Pump was indeed our hookup..... -I do have to admit...the boy makes a SPLENDID heel. -Now, down to the real business...Steiner whined about the appearance of Momma Bagwell last week, and said that he slapped some sense into Buff Bagwell. So now he is back in line and knows the score in dealing with Mommy......she gets out of line, WHAP right in the kisser!!!! -Out comes Buff and Momma Bagwell. Moms looked all sorts of confident that Mr. Juice was talking out of his ass. -In the ring, Buff disagreed with Steiner's statement and said that he has been, and always be...a pansy ass MOMMA'S BOY!!!!!!!!!! (Yeeeeahhhh...you friggin' PUSSY) -Steiner reminded Bagwell that he could "break his frickin' neck" -Buffy the Acting Slayer offered to go in Chicago.... -Momma Bagwell stepped in and tried to break it up.... -Steiner called Momma Bagwell an "old bag"... -This woman.....she stopped, paused, turned around slowly, and gave EVERYBODY IN THAT DRESSING ROOM A LESSON IN MELODRAMA!!!!!! Damn...she's good -Steiner pointed his finger in her face...she shoved it away. -Steiner told Bagwell to leash her up, before he "lays the old scalawag out on the mat" -Bagwell punches Steiner...Steiner punches back, then drops him neck first on the ropes. -Buff is down and hurting....Momma tends to her son...Steiner asked if there were anymore Bagwell kids at home....then bragged about being NWO 4 Life. -Tony screamed of the EVIL, VICIOUS, IMMORAL, DEPRAVED ACTIONS OF THAT SCUMBAG SCOTT STEINER!!!!!!!!!! Then sent us off to some... -commercials -Before we continue....I have two points that you may find interesting..or you may not...I simply don't care anymore. -Point 1: I am trying really hard to stay focused right now...THANK GOD FOR SPELLCHECK -Point 2: Last week, I mentioned that it was odd that the only woman ever seen with Bagwell was his Mom...well, a major fan of Bagwell wrote to me and said that Marcus did indeed have a girlfriend, it's just a hush hush, low key thing. He even gave me the vital stats on the girlfriend and assured me that it was 100% legit. Well, color me ignorant. I am happy to say that Buff does indeed have a girlfriend..and his name is Lance.....GOOD LUCK YOU CRAZY LOVEBIRDS!!!!!!! -More action in the Luxory Box....how can WCW justify having Flair's kids on one week, then have him fraternizing with chicks the next is beyond me....then again, basic math and a 9 to 5 job is beyond me too.....then again, my ex-girlfriend is apparently beyond me too...(that may have been the dumbest mistake I have ever made). -Juventud Guerrera seemed to be quite cool with the Jews now....'cause he hasn't asked if anyone was gonna get them anymore (he DAMN well better start....or else he'll get MIGHTY boring around here). -Juvee was taking on Price Iaukaea.....who's career began roughly around the same time as the Rock's....sad isn't it? -Disco Inferno showed up to dance...he was plastered by the Prince. -The match began....DINF vanished -The match wrapped up when DINF returned. -BUT...Kidman showed up to keep DINF away from the wrestlers...now that he's a good guy, Kidman wants ALL wrestlers to COMPETE FAIR AND SQUARE DAMMIT!!!!!! -Juvee won, the Prince lost (in WAAAAAY more ways than one), DINF and Kidman battled out of the arena.....the Universal Dance of the Cosmos continues... -Somewhere during this fracas...(although it could have been during ANY fracas at ANY time between now and the Warrior/Sting segment...this one just suits me better)...Tony hunkered down, grew reflective, and said, "You know fans, it has been my proud honor to come on here week after week and call the greatest professional wrestling action in the World. I've made some broad statements in the past, some statements that may have been....premature at the time. Well fans, I can proudly say.......that tonight......whether I say so or not, each and every one of you know, that tonight.....more than any single week since Nitro has been on the air.....tonight fans, as you already know......with the six man Wolfpac match against the NWO.....combined with Goldberg Vs the Giant in a no disqualification match.....COMBINED with the reunion of Sting with the Warrior against Hollywood Hogan and Bret Hart...can only mean one thing. Ladi4es and Gentlemen, I can proudly say, that tonight, beyond any other night we have ever been a part of....is without a doubt...the SINGLE GREATEST NITRO IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT.....dare I say, that tonight, is the BEST NITRO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -The funny thing is...if you didn't even watch the show.....you would have NO CLUE if I was lying or telling the truth! -commercials -Nash came out and hit the ring. -Because he had to be cool and we had to be informed, Nash told us that Big Sexy was in the house. -Nash was sick and tired of seeing Scott Hall stumble around blasted out of his gourd.......and since he used to he a bouncer (Hey, so was I....cool) and he excelled at tossing out drunks (Man..they are fun to tune on)...he felt that now would be a fine time to toss Hall around a little. So he called out Hall with the two words he hated the very most....."LAST CALL" -Last call? My ASS!!!!!! Beer #18 is GONZO....out comes Beer #19 -Hall came out...shaken, not stirred, "Heeeey Yo! If it's Last Call...then give me a double..and a SIX TO GO!!!!" (Maybe he meant "Syxx".....but I doubt it) -Then Hall said he'd fight him...but not in the ring. No, he would fight down there...down where? Hall lifted up his arms, then said, "Down HERE" and dropped his arms down to a crotch chop.... -BUT!!! Bischoff was ALL over that one..and cut the camera immediately to Nash before the Crotch Chop could be seen....DAMN THEM!!!!!! -Nash took off and chased him....well...either he normally lumbers that way...or he was going very deliberately..... -Hall beat feet backstage, the camera followed Nash.....one thing led to your mother..then -Nash was driving his car and chasing a limo with Hall presumably inside....trust me when I tell you, there ain't nothing else to say about this. -Except that Hall can sure haul ass when he's drunk. -Tony was stunned, shocked, outraged, and mostly disappointed that we may now NOT be able to witness the ACTION PACKED SPECTACLE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN NASH, KONNAN, AND LUGER AGAINST HALL, STEVIE RAY, AND SOME OTHER GUY WHO I CAN'T RECALL RIGHT NOW.......it may have been Brian Adams....you should all buy a round for Hall when you see him for sparing us that match. -Oh yes, even though Hall is NWO SLIME WHO DESERVES TO BE DRAGGED BY A CAR, BUCK NAKED OVER A STREET FILLED WITH BROKEN GLASS AND HYDROCLORIC ACID FOR HAVING DARED TRY TO SPIT ON THE HOLY GRAIL THAT IS WCW!!!!!! Tony told us that he is STILL a human being and we should all cheer for his recovery....if not the man himself. -Chris Jericho came out..and was tagged with some small debris on his way to the ring. He reacted accordingly. -Raven came out to challenge Jericho for the US belt. -Jericho won with the Lion Tamer. The announcers talked up Raven's current losing streak, which meant, of course, that a fresh push is forthcoming. -During the match, Jericho said that this was "Jericho's Rules" -And he had troubles with two chairs being tangled in wires -After the match, Jericho thanked all the Jericho-holics. The room is spinning dammit. Chris Hyatte
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