The Midnight News 5.09.01
Posted By Hyatte on 05.09.01
Raw, Bischoff, Buff, Wight, Storm, and more last names.
Oh, I've got a TON of stuff to get into. It helps me kill time and procrastinate before doing the Mop-Up.
So, let's get into it:
WHO WATCHED THIS NONSENSE?
No one, or at least less and less each week.
Monday Night Raw hit a 4.6 rating this week. Last week, it was at 5. This is without any other wrestling show. This is not good, people.... get the WCW Invasion angle going, quick!! One killer Flair promo will make it all better.
During their height, Nitro was banking at 4's.
Next season, UPN may bump Smackdown to a 90 minute show, then throw up a sitcom to fill out the night. Chances are, the sitcom will be about a financially middle class African American family and the hijinks that come with assimilating with white yuppies! Expect the Rock, K-Kwick, Jacqueline, D-Von Dudley, Faarooq, and maybe Rikishi to appear for a crossover sweeps cameo.
*sniff, yeah, that smells like a
VOICES IN OUR HEAD
Those middle aged kids at The Torch say that the WWFE has boiled the list of potential WCW announcers to Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Joey Styles, Mark Madden, and Jerry Lawler. Yes, there is a chance Madden might return.
Lawler, however, is a low maybe.... many people want him to get it, but Vince is tired of reading Lawler online and in interviews get increasingly bitter and bitter. This sounds like Jim Ross feeling a bit guilty that his friend got the short end.
I say, put Ross and Lawler on WCW and bring Hudson into WWF TV and put him with Heyman.
As always, all final decisions will be made by Triple H
GIANT SIZED ISSUES
Good article on the Big Show popped up on Slam Wrestling. It's an extensive piece, worth checking out. Here are some highlights:
1) On his WWF troubles: "I just came off the knee surgery, and quite frankly, I just laid up at the house and didn't do as much cardio as I needed to do, and just went to gym to lift weights, ate like a horse, and ballooned up to 480 pounds. I came back two weeks after the knee surgery and my cardio wasn't where it needed to be to perform at the calibre of the Undertaker's, Kane's and Austin's. I just didn't have my sh*t together. I had a lot of stuff going on the side, like a divorce I'm fighting, and I think I just lost track of my most important goal, and my most important goal is to be successful."
2) He blames his old attitude on WCW's "too much, too soon" push. In one year, he beat Hulk Hogan for the title, won "Match of the Year", "Wrestler of the Year", and "Rookie of the Year" by PWI: " I didn't know the work and the pain and the sweat, blood and the tears that guys put in this, and never get recognized; to never even get a chance to work for a big company after busting their entire lives doing independent shows and never get a break." "
3) He called being sent to Louisville nothing but a positive experience: "I think going to Louisville was the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm not just saying this because I'm a company guy. I swear to God that it's the best thing to ever happen to me because it actually gave me the chance to experience what 90 per cent of the guys in our business have to go through."
4) He told the story of his famous Missile Dropkick attempt.
5) He also admitted to not really being paid very much in WCW.
6) On the difference between WCW and WWF leadership, he said all the things he's expected to say. No surprises there
7) On the Undertaker: "Undertaker and HHH, these guys are so well respected, they're true genuine leaders. Undertaker, in our locker room, when he speaks everybody listens, and it's because he's put in the miles, he's put in the dues, he doesn't bull-sh*t people, he doesn't try to screw someone around -- like be a buddy, pat you on the back just so you can do a job for him -- which was a lot of that bull-sh*t down in WCW."
8) On the WCW Locker room, nothing new there... "There were a lot of con games down there, a lot of cliques, and a lot of buddies taking care of buddies, and if you weren't in their clique then nothing happened, and it was this clique against that clique. There's none of that clique stuff (in the WWF). There's one clique in the WWF, and that's the WWF talent; we're all working together. And if somebody comes in there and doesn't want to work together, he doesn't want to go along with the system, then they get bucked out of the system. That's the biggest difference; I'm part of a team now. I got guys from lower card to upper card where everybody is helping everybody with their matches, with constructive criticisms, with advice, with helpful hints. It's just a real good environment right now, all the way through."
9) And just in case we weren't convinced that he is a total company man: "Just a few weeks ago I did the job for the Hardys, and it was tremendous TV. Doing that job for the Hardys was better than any victory I've ever gotten myself. The pops were absolutely huge. It was great business, it told a story of how I was a giant and it took all these different moves to beat me. It told the story of how the Hardy Boys were so intense, they fought together, and Lita brought it, and everybody worked together. That was great TV, that's emotion, that's the three people chopping down the beanstalk. That's what people want to see, I think personally."
Oh, and TBS also insists that he did not call Kai-Entai "gooks" and spent a while preaching global peace. Really.
To get the full article, go visit SLAMand tell them Hyatte sent you, just to see if I still have stroke with those boys.
GET DRUNK WITH HAK!
For those who care, the Sandman's Ebay auction for his time is now up to $500. That covers about 2 months worth of his old ECW salary
I TOLD YOU SO!!
The Mummy Returns made 68.1 million last weekend. Not 70 million. Universal Studios used stats and audience polls and assumed it cleared 70. Those scheming Hollywood bastards!
BISCHOFF IS EXILED!
No, not really. But 1Wrestling says that he'll be involved in shows in other countries. Vince chased him out of American Wrestling, now he's being chased out of AMERICA! Vince is God.
First, Eric will be showing up at a WrestleXpress.com debut event at the Skydome Arena in England on October 20. British wrestlers will mingle with bloody Americans like Rob Van Dam and Steve Corino. A few Mexican stars like Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, and maybe Vampiro will be there too. Sonny Ono will make a cameo as well.
Sonny Ono? I have GOT to be there!
Also, Bischoff is putting together an International Tour, holding wrestling shows in the Far East, the Pacific Rim, and the Middle East. I hope one or two rabid Arabs are reading this, just so I remind them that Eric Bischoff IS a Infidel American Dog who spits on Allah at every turn. PRAISE ALLAH AND BURN BISCHOFF!
It is a relatively safe bet that "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan will NOT take part in this tour.
SPEAKING OF WHICH
Ol' Hacksaw has opened a website here. There is absolutely nothing of substance in it, which leads me to believe that he created the thing all by himself.
He's about to be released from WCW. The odds are better than even that the WWF doesn't want him, but New Japan would take him in a second. That comes from RF Video.
THE MOUTH OF THE STORM
Lance Storm has had a lot to say lately. He shared with us his exciting diet plan. You fatsos take a look and change your life around:
My only rule of thumb is, avoid fat and keep my protein intake high.
If there is a lot of fat in something, I don't eat it, period. I don't eat any desserts or junk food, and I don't drink. No cheese. No butter. No peanut butter.
If they make a fat free version of something use it. You do need some fat in your diet, but I find I still get enough when I try to avoid it all together.
I also try to consume most of my carbohydrates earlier in the day. Avoid huge carb intake right before bed. Try to eat as many times a day as you can. Frequent meals increase your metabolism.
Some people have a binge day, where they can eat things they usually don't. I disagree with this. I feel this only keeps your cravings alive.
I find if you go long enough without something you quit craving it, and for the most part, no longer want it.
Many people view eating as a source of enjoyment. I don't eat for enjoyment. I eat to fuel my body.
Man, he's a non-stop party, isn't he?
To read how he works out, plus his advice to rookies on the 5 big mistakes a wrestler can make, click thisBUT, PLUGS
No one on 411 produced anything other than ME!!
The RAW recap will be up before noon today, sit with your thumbs right up yer' starfish and WAIT!
The Bonus Mop-Up is up. It was a breeze to write. Very quick. Read it for the surprise ending.
This week's And Another Thing is a history of the Internet Wrestling Scene and basically what's wrong with it. I flame no person here. For you newcomers, it's a look at how this thing grew, and how it's falling. Everyone else will see it as a challenge to stop... well, just read it.
One small thing... I submitted the text that was not spellchecked and proofed. So don't write to me and tell me how to spell "Shepherd", okay? Forgive all the typos.
There. Plenty of things for you. More than plenty. Too much, in fact.
Now excuse me, I have a column to write.
This is Hyatte