The Midnight News 5.21.01
Posted By Hyatte on 05.21.01
PPV, WCW, Message Boards and another 80's wrestler who's web site kills me.
Not much news to get into. Tomorrow should be much better. So, for today, I'll touch some Judgment Day stuff, one bit of news/rumors concerning which WCW star may be accepting a buy-out, more Honky stuff, stuff from ANOTHER wrestler with a great outlook on things, and a stack of recent Message board postings. If this plan is agreeable to you, then keep reading. If it doesn't, then piss off, wanker.
HERE COMES THE JUDG(MENT DAY)
Chris Benoit worked three consecutive matches with Kurt Angle and ended up losing those medals that he never earned to begin with.
Chris Benoit was Jericho's mystery partner. He worked the "Tag Team Turmoil" Match, worked against Edge and Christian, and became half of the number 1 contenders for the WWF Tag Team titles.
It was a good night for Chris Benoit.... duh.
Expect the phrase, "It's about damn TIME!" to be used roughly 4 million times on the Internet this week. (adjectives are subject to change).
Austin kept his title, with generous help from Vince McMahon and Triple H. Triple H lost the IC title to Kane, with generous help from Steve Austin. Chyna beat Lita. Regal beat Rikishi. Rhyno pinned The Big Show to keep his hardcore title.
Meanwhile, Jackie Jr. was whacked on The SopranosSeason ender. An FBI Undercover agent was sent in to become Adreana's friend, Meadow got really, really drunk and Anthony Jr. was THIS close to being sent to a Military School before having a "Panic Attack" and passing out in front of his parents. Annabella Sciorra is gone, but it looks like Fairuza Balk will be around next season.
Back to JD.... in the biggest blundder of the YEAR, they had Vince McMahon sit in with Ross and Heyman during the Austin/UT match, but not ONCE did Vince go old school and scream, "One, two, three!! It's over!! Austin retains the ti... oh, wait a minute!" Dammit!
411 provided in-depth "as it happens" coverage of the event, plus Widro got into details in the recap.
RUMOR MILLS AND NO DON QUIXOTE TO SLAY THEM
My main muchachos at A1 went out on a limb and ran with this:
Ric Flair, Booker T, and "Diamond" Dallas Page are inches- INCHES, I tell ya'- away from taking their buyouts from AOL and signing up with the WWF.
If this happens, they'll probably get an early "preview" role on WWF TV in order to assist the declining ratings and the general lethargy that is the first couple of months of the post Wrestlemania WWF. Then I suspect it'll be off to the new WCW for them.
I'm telling you, all we need is one killer promo from Flair and everyone will be creaming their pants.
HE KNOWS WE REALLY WANT TO HEAR HIM SING BUT...
As usual, the Honky Tonk Man continues to be thoroughly entertaining...
Sources have told me, one of the higher paid contract guys of the now closed WCW, would throw lavish parties in Tampa. There was GHB, marijuana, and several thousand dollars worth of cocaine to be had by some of the top stars of the old WCW.
You know, I believe Randy Savage lives in Tampa....
The WWF will soon be cutting contracts. There will be no more 4,5,and 6 hundred thousand dollar deals. The million dollar deals will be gone too. As ratings fall, so do contracts. Any of those high dollar, ex-WCW money suckers will have to develope a lower standard of living in the near future if they consider trying to get into WWF. Vince doesn't like contracts, he wants you to work for your money. Bottom line, "put asses in the seats.
Ahh, the man doesn't just talk, he PREACHES
Now, from the den of human despair and the pit of dark contemplation.... I present to you....
A SNAKE IN THE CYBERGRASS
Fromhis own web site, Jake "The Snake" Roberts goes surreal.
Words of praise to VKM:
Let's keep the wheel turning - Vince, how long can you run the show with divorce gimmick? Though all are doing a tremendous job. The brightest, hottest star on show wasn't even a match, interview or backstage traumatic news break....The shining glory was beautiful to see...do you know what it was....?
Nope.... tell us, you magnificent crackhead!
Words of warning to VKM:
I will warn you VKM it's a sick world, believe me Oh King, beware the one who smiles and delivers the knife - oh, it won't be expected, but it will happen Vince, someone will hurt you where it would hurt most. Steph, always expect the unexpected.
Who, Jake? WHO?? BLAUSTEIN????
Well, 411 has it's Judgment Day all recapped and submitted less than an hou... err.... 20 MINUTES after the show ended. That's Widro's work, by the way. So if you want a recap that feels like the guy writing it really, really would rather be doing anything else... this is the recap to read!
We also have the Heat and the Jakked recaps up. I find it hard to believe that anyone other than the authors will read these two recaps.
There were no opinion columns up, other than a Roundtable prediction deal that was posted before the PPV. I'll have a new AAT up Tuesday morning.... or maybe earlier.
And now.... what you've been waiting for....
ACROSS THE BOARDS
"Since when has the Internet wrestling community allowed facts to get in the way of a good rumor?"
"I heard from a reliable source that Bob's (Ryder) inside WWF leak is Tazz."
"Is Meltzer simply falling into the trap of considering drawing power that the DVD500 list eschews?"
"So, registration is closed again. Sorry to all the new people that didn't get the chance to register, you can blame it on the people that had nothing better to do than register more names and cause trouble."
"Talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening."
"Of course, I could be wrong, that's just my opinion. (Ok, so I probably am wrong, I'm an idiot, shoot me)"
"Some workers you just wonder how they lied for long enough to get jobs. For example the Goodfather"
"Don't we all hate casual fans anyway?"
"Just the ones that still cheer for X-Pac"
"While you argue endlessly about the true value of Japanese pro wrestling, important and dare I say earth shattering matters such as Rhyno's impending rampage of, and I quote, "violence, f**ing violence !!!" as well as the Ultimate Warrior's reign of "Destrucity" are virtually ignored!"
"The next Ric Flair is Kurt Angle. He is already the sedcond best wroker in the compnay and will soon assume the title of world's best worker. He can talk, wrestle, be charismatic, he has got everything."
"Officially a company in my opinion begins when it has its first champ crowned. WCW crowned Ric Flair its first champion when he beat Sting for the world title in 1991. So WCW lasted for exactly 10 years. What I find amazing is that the UNDERTAKER gimmick has actually lasted longer than WCW was in existence."
"If someone wins like one or two matches with a move it doesn't make it their finisher..whereas Saturn actually seems to change *finisher* every month or so. Shame none of them have stopped him being a retarded heatless loser."
"Yup, if you don't like what somebody is writing, just INSULT 'EM! Maybe you could call him GAY! That would be REALLY REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY COOL!"
"Will there ever be a day when wrestling and it's performers release the umbilical cord of the 'little white lie' it was founded upon and learn the intent is to Move your audience. Not shove them. Not "work" them and jerk them. It's time to grow the f**k up already."
"You know, many wrestlers are not rocket scientists, or brain specialists, in other words, some of them are not the brightest bulbs in the pack. Maybe, the whole idea of the list, you know, ranking people by their work, and the fact that EVERY OTHER TYPE OF WORK IS JUDGED IN THE SAME MANNER, is beyond (Lance Storm's) flat top, semi-mulleted head."
"Puroresu fans are whiny and bitchy."
"Eminem and ICP deserve each other... They are to music what Abdullah the Butcher is to high-flying"
"That's why the company has spiralled into decline faster than a box of cucumbers goes at a women's prison."
"Has it occurred to anyone else that WWF is starting to suck on purpose?"
"My point is....maybe being a wrestler turns you INTO a jerk...even if you weren't before!Then again, I think any Kliq member would be an asshole, even if they worked in the Burger King Drive-Thru...And X-Pac wouldn't be over there either."
"Hey man, leave masturbation out of this. What has that pleasurable task done besides supply billions of people worldwide with magnificent minutes of enjoyment?"
"Of course, 1wrestling has been wrong a whole lot more then right in their "breaking stories" lately."
"At least (bidding on Lita's undergarments) is safer from a health standpoint than bidding on...oh...say...Jenna Jameson's panties."
"Wrestling will cease to exist and HHH will end up the world's angriest curler. So sad."
"And if the unpolished,sloppy Christopher Daniels is the #20 worker in the world,then the wrestlling business truly is in deep sh*t. KENDALL WINDHAM is on this list?? What the hell is wrong with you people?"
"Don't tell me your locked up with women in your apartment. I know better"
And so it goes....
And so I go too.
This is Hyatte