And Another Thing: Keep Dreaming, Mark Boy 

Posted by Hyatte on 06.12.2001 

Should Tommy Dreamer be hired by the WWF? If only to let him finish his career, which can't be expected to last longer than a couple of years. 

"I have a good time. Again, I'm still doing what I love to do and that's wrestle."

Too short. That's for starters. Not much of a build either. He's got that "Italian Physique". He works out just enough to get a broad upper body, just to make the babes drool when he wears a tank top.

"I'm happy. I just love to wrestle."

Injury prone? Are you kidding? The guy was hurt more than Ahmed Johnson. Broken bones, cracked ribs, bad neck, pinched nerves. It's going to take the guy forty five minutes to get out of bed in the morning for the rest of his life. Hell, he shouldn't even be wrestling anymore, his back is so wrecked it's amazing that he can even walk. He's a real live insurance headache. Hire him and prepare for medical bills up the wazoo.

"I've been very, very fortunate. I've been living my dream. Every time I got into the ring and wrestled in ECW was a great night." 

Of course it was. His limited skills fit perfectly into ECW's game plan. Bash, smash, hit them with whatever was close at hand. Make them bleed and then make them gush. ECW likes big spots and big spots only. Save the actual science of the sport for Japan, that's ECW's motto. 

"Did I want ECW to go out of business? No, I walk around every day with a broken heart but you know, it's over, it's done and I've got to move on." 

Of course. Where else but ECW would this guy be a star? Even there, he more or less lucked into things. He lost every feud he was in. Raven wiped him out every night for years. He held the World Title for about five minutes, serving as a middle man between one star leaving and another one just getting a push. He held the tag titles three times with three different partners, barely totaling a half year in all. ECW's biggest star, Rob Van Dam, barely gave him the time of day. Essentially, he was a jobber who was treated like a main player. 

Oh, and in ECW he got the girls. They'd leave him eventually, but he still scored.

"I love working for Dusty Rhodes' group. You have to deal with a lot of wannabes, but not in those federations. They are run very professionally, but with me as long as I'm getting my money and getting paid."

Obviously, Dusty would treat him well. He needs some name brands too. The WWF is gobbling most of them up.

"I still kind of kill myself when I'm on the road. That's just how I am. I can't just go out there half-ss no matter what I do." 

So one day, he'll end up crippled in a wheelchair with no shot of getting out of it. There's no book deal in this guy's future. He'll be broke, forgotten, and alone. Great business to love. Great pick there, buddy.

"There's only one place to wrestle and that's the WWF or WCW. I would love to be part of it and I would do my job and go out and wrestle, just like I did for ECW."

And jobbing you shall do, my friend. Jobbing you shall do.

"We had the best fans and they still are the best fans. I think that was the greatest thing about ECW and that's what made it work. There are people who are still upset. I think about the days when we weren't getting paid and we didn't know about our future and they were still some of the greatest times in front of the fans and even that last weekend we worked, it was still a great weekend. We didn't know what was going on and we were all so depressed, but because we were together, it was a great thing."

Listen to this guy. As if the fans care. Look at him act like this business is something more than a carnival side show. Look at him pretend that there is nobility and honor here. He's been around for a while, doesn't he know that after the business is finished chewing you up and spitting you out on the side of the road, the fans will simply move on to the next big thing and forget all about you? The guy is delusional. 

"I would just say 'Thank you.' I gave it my all and so did everyone else and it was a great, great emotional ride for a long time."

Yeah, yeah. You're welcome. What's wrong with this guy? It's a business. It shouldn't be personal. It shouldn't be a "great emotional ride". It's a kill or be killed world, this sports entertainment. Isn't it time he wakes up and starts caring more about himself and less about the cheering fans who want a show? Has the work of guys like Kevin Nash, Goldberg, the Ultimate Warrior, and Lex Luger shown him anything?

I guess not. Because despite the reality of the business and the reality of his place in it, there he goes. Working Indy shows as if he was headlining Madison Square Garden. Screaming at the top of his lungs about how lucky he is. Showing up at locker rooms for no reason other than to say hello to old friends and spread some positive cheer. I bet he never stops smiling. Even worse, I bet the smile is contagious.

"Everyone knows I'm the biggest mark in the business, I tell everyone that, so of course I would love to wrestle(in the WWF)."

Well, Jim Ross claims to be interested, but that could just be because Heyman is taking pity on the poor guy. After all, the guy ate, drank, slept, sweated, bled, and defecated ECW all his life. The least Heyman can do is speak up for the guy and maybe get him a few bucks to start his sure-to-be early retirement on.

But let's be realistic. This Dreamer known as Tommy would not last in the WWF. Sure, he's got heart to spare, but so does almost every other guy in the locker room. Only they are younger, healthier and have more talent. Dreamer's gift is his enthusiasm. It makes him a locker room favorite, but it won't help him get heat out there in the arena. 

I think he knows this. I also think he thinks his heart won't let him stop. His heart and respect for the business won't let him stop giving all he has every night, in front of 20 fans, 200, or 2000. Now his heart only wants to go to the next level and give his all to 20'000. He's crazy. He has no shot. He is dreaming. No wonder he picked that name.

Should Tommy Dreamer be hired by the WWF? If only to let him finish his career, which can't be expected to last longer than a couple of years. Three at the very most. Yeah, sign him to a three year deal.

"Again, I'm getting paid to do what I love to do and that's being a professional wrestler. I think a lot of athletes forget about that and this is a game that I love to be in."

Then after the three years are up, sign him for another twenty.

As a Teacher.

This is Hyatte too.