The Midnight News 7.10.01
Posted By Hyatte on 07.10.01
Raw, reaction, Ryder, something exclusive, Road Dogg, a black guy with stars on his nipples, lots of plugs, Honky, and my Father's only Son.
More single words strategically placed as whole paragraphs for heavy drama effect. I know this desperate-for-my-love-but-can't-have-it-anymore chick who does crap like this all the time to cover for her lousy writing skills. (baby, getting close to Widro won't get me back either. Wids and I had a big laugh over that lame attempt)
Thank God Tommy Dreamer got a job. He has a few good years left in the ring, and a lifetime of good years left in the business. (Fully discussed, in an ironic vein, in a recent And Another Thing).
Yesterday, I did a column filled with nonsense. Let's balance the scales with a news heavy edition for today. Starting with... oh, take a wild f-ing guess...
A JUMBLED MESS O' RAW NOTES!!!
I firmly believe that the WWF actually took in the many, MANY Internet columns asking, DEMANDING that they do a big ECW Invasion angle instead of, or along with the WCW storyline. Yeah, we are mostly idiots. Yeah, THEY (big difference between me and everyone else in this department) are so desperate to be considered "experts" that they wasted no time in declaring the Invasion a disaster. Yeah, most of US should be force fed our balls and then eat them again as soon as we s**t them out. But this time around, the net made a good call. Score one for the Internet.
The ECW stars looked damn good in there. They looked BADASS... and proud to be there with Paul. Heyman swerved us all, and now this thing is ON TRACK!!! This ROCKS!!
BUT.... and they really couldn't help this, seeing how weak this left the WCW roster (which wasn't a mountain of strength before, the merger of Stephanie McMahon's ECW and Shane McMahon’s WCW just brings this back to a "company Vs company" fight. Really, all they did was give Shane a bunch of WWF stars (and RVD & Dreamer) to shore up his crew.
YET... now, doesn't this REALLY become a WWF Vs ECW war? With so few big WCW stars not available, and almost ALL the ECW main names represented... plus seeing how this Heyman seems to be running this thing, did WCW just get absorbed into ECW?
Here's a noteworthy... umm... NOTE! You see how Chris Jericho made it a point to announce that he is NOT defecting to "WCW"? Heh... wasn't he in ECW BEFORE WCW? How about THAT defection? Watch for it. It could happen.
Damn, Benoit is missing ALL of this. He could have been the real wild card here, having deep ties to all three companies.
Finally, none of this takes away from my theory in one of the AAT's this week about how they are building a proper champion to showcase WCW. I am still brilliant and astute.
WHEN WILL YOU A-HOLES LEARN TO TRUST MCMAHON???? TRUST THE WWF???? THEIR TRACK RECORD FOR DELIVERING QUALITY IS PRETTY GODDAM GOOD, YOU KNOW!!!!
You must remember, this is coming from the guy who once "lectured" you on how to lose weight. (And $20 to the person who can figure out what one has to do with the other. I must be stupid, I can't figure out the ironic bullet here.)
Early reports flew in from guys who badly want to pretend that they knew this was happening all along....
Meltzer reported that the WWF had scrapped almost ALL of WCW's long term plans and started from scratch. You can thank the crowd reaction for that. They are booking on the fly now. Making this up only a day or so before the show. They may even push back the WCW Raw show until they knew what to do.
The Torch says that they just cobbled together this plan late last week. At last night's show, backstage reaction was hugely positive. All parties agree that this Invasion story needed a kick in the ass.
The Torch also added that Triple H was at the building that night and made sure he was the first guy to shake hands and congratulate everyone as soon as they stepped behind the curtain and into the backstage. Rumor has it he said to Rob Van Dam, "I hear you don't like to job?" Then chuckled menacingly for a good 30 minutes.
Finally, the Torch, (or maybe 1bob), said that Daffney, Paisley, David Penzer and a whole pile of WCW wrestlers were at the show and looking for work, or at least a good bag of weed. Kwee Wee, Mike Sanders, Elix Skipper and many other WCW wrestlers who ARE under WWF contract were there too. At gazing at all these young, fresh faces, the rapid blood rush caused Pat Patterson to faint dead away.
Meanwhile, Eric Bischoff beat the crap out of his Wife tonight for burning the Roast. He's been in a pissy mood all night.
WHAT WOULD RYDER DO??
Of course, the Pop-Up King , Bob Ryder quickly issued a press release about what he just saw, and asked a VERY interesting question:
"ECW's parent company filed bankruptcy several months ago. Originally the filing was a Chapter 11 (reorganization), but the case was recently converted to a Chapter 7 (liquidation) bankruptcy. Among the assets to be liquidated are the rights to the name, the logo, and other trademarks.
That's why I was more than a little bit surprised to see the name, logo, and trademarks used on RAW.
Clearly, the involvement of former ECW wrestlers and the former owner is a storyline. But, does the WWF have the right to use the name, logo, and trademarks without permission of the court? Are the creditors entitled to compensation of some kind?"
He makes a point... a very good one.
No matter how many tricks you pull, no matter how many programs you run, no matter how many solutions you try... eventually, before you know it.... you will fall prey to BOB'S POP-UPS!!!!!!
FUEL TO THE FIRE!!!
Okay, this is a 411 EXCLUSIVE NEWSBREAK!!!! Unless it's a total fraud.
Go to ...ECWWrestling.com now.
Yeah, it's not available.
But the domain name rights for ECWWRESTLING.COM were renewed on June 25, 2001... long after the bankruptcy proceedings shut the site itself down.
The site is registered to a company known as Kayfabe Inc... the following is the WHOIS info listed Kayfabe, Inc
35 Sleepy Hollow Lane
Stamford, CT 06907
Domain Name: ECWWRESTLING.COM
Administrative Contact, Technical Contact:
Domain Administrator (DA14215-OR)
WebNet Services, Inc.
358 Saw Mill River Road
Millwood, NY 10546
Now HERE is the kicker....
Bonsignore, Joe (JB35440)
35 Sleepy Hollow Road
Stamford , CT 06907
Could be all fake... just a ruse.... like the BretHart.com thing that led right to WCW.com. In short, I could be dopey.
Someone ask Scherer about this... AND TELL HIM TO CREDIT ME FOR BRINGING THIS UP IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE SOMETHING!!!!
Thanks to Mike for bringing this to my attention.
BUFF BAGWELL, HE'S OUT THERE
Yeah, he was fired from the WWF. WWF.com says that he and Jim Ross "mutually agreed" to the split. I'm sure the phrase "F**K You" was used at least three times during THAT conversation.
Look for the long awaited "American Males" reunion, coming to an Indy show near YOU!
I'LL HAVE THE NEW AGE MOZZABALLS!
The Road Dogg was seen at WWF New York during the taping of Heat. No, don't jump out the window, he was just honoring his EBay contract and eating dinner with the winner. He wasn't a part of the WWF in anyway. Later, he was seen looking for a job bussing tables. The restaurant's manager said, "Not until you clean up your ACT, Pally!" (Jeeze, outcast means OUTCAST in the WWF).
The "Armstrong Curse" still grips the family as the winner of the auction skipped out on the tab and Jesse had to end up paying the bill.
RF Video reported this.
KAMA KAMA KAMA KAMAKAMEALEAN
Christless Canadians they may be, but lots of times,
SlamWrestling produces some KILLER crap.
For instance, here is a recap of a in-depth piece on former 80's monster, Kamala: The Ugandan Giant...
-His name is James Harris, he was born in late May, 1950, in Mississippi. He's kept a low profile since leaving WCW in '95, working mostly Indy shows on occasion.
-He got into the WWF Gimmick Battle Royal at Wrestlemania X 7 after Howard Finkle called him and made the invite. Ironically, even after three lengthy runs in the WWF over the years, this was his first WM appearance ever.
-He began wrestling in 1978 and worked throughout the South under different aliases. He traveled overseas and worked in Germany and England for experience.
-During his Memphis run, Kamala was even a Face for a while when Stan Frazier ("Uncle Elmer") put paint on and became "Kamala II" for a while, attacking Kamala and having a feud with him.
-Harris went full out on the gimmick and stayed Kamala even out of the ring and with the fans.
-He went to Bill Watts' Mid-South territory where he says he made the most money and had the best time. He feuded with the Junkyard Dog. defeated him, and took on Andre the Giant for the first time.
-In his first match with Andre, things turned into a shoot for few minutes. They broke kayfabe and started swinging. Cooler heads prevailed and the feud continued for a while. Then Andre invited Kamala to go to the WWF.
-He finally arrived in the WWF and ran wild. He says that on the old Tuesday Night Titans, he ate a live chicken on camera. Actually, he didn't, but editing and quick reaction shots helped make it convincing.
-When he came back to the WWF after spending some time in Canada, Kamala had a series of matches with Hulk Hogan. He called Hogan a "Sweetheart". He felt very comfortable working with Hogan. More than with anyone else. Hogan always told him to "Go get his money" out of Vince.
-Harris says that he never made much money in the WWF. Vince McMahon simply refused to pay him the big bucks. Vince always invited him to go try to make money elsewhere if he wanted.... which is why he left the WWF so many times.
-He left the WWF and feuded with the Von Erichs in Texas for a while. In 1992, he returned to Memphis and went after Lawler again. He held the USWA title on three occasions. It was then when he almost sued the WWF for merchandising rights. He wasn't seeing enough money after 5 years of having products with his likeness in stores. He says he only made $30'000 from 1987 to 1992. Instead of suing the WWF, he accepted a job back with the company after McMahon himself called him with the invitation.
-He came back and feuded with the Ultimate Warrior. The Warrior was the big star at the time and the WWF gave him a Limo for wherever he went. Meanwhile, Harris had to share car rentals and motel rooms with Steve Lombardi and Harvey Whippleman. He gives props to the Warrior for letting him ride with him in the Limo from time to time.
-He feuded with the Undertaker in what he called "fair fights, not great ones". They had a big fight in front of 80'000 people at the Wembley Arena for SummerSlam.
-Claims that the Undertaker made half a million dollars for the SS match, while he made only $13'000. Says that the WWF grossed 40 million for that night alone.
-Says that he really was afraid of caskets, so selling fear for the first ever Casket Match was not a problem. But, when he finally got in there, he was so hot and so tired that he was able to relax and chill out.
-He finished his WWF career by making a face turn and trying to become a more "civilized" gimmick. He didn't want to do it, but he says, "You don't say no to Vince McMahon, or you're fired."
-The story wrapped up with Harris discussing going back to truck driving and proudly pointing out that he never took drugs or became a drunk. Despite his mistreatment by the WWF, he has no regrets. Good stuff.
STUFF FROM OTHER SITES
I figured I'd bundle three pieces of news into one segment. This is Internet News, so feel free to blow it off... unless you are a fan of Jap wrestling.... oh yes, JAP WRESTLING!!!!
Yeah, you're hard now.... nitwits!
First, JEERS to PWBTS.com for reporting on Sunday that Rob Van Dam couldn't actually compete for two weeks because he needs to get a physical. He botched a spot or two at the end, but wouldn't that run-in be considered "competing"? The sad part is, I ran with the story in yesterday's column... F-HEADS!!! WHO DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE??? AL ISAACS???? WHEN IS YOKOZUNA GOING TO COME BACK???? YA BASTARDS!!
Second CHEERS to RF Video for purchasing "perhaps the largest, perfect quality Japanese wrestling videotape collection in the world. This includes every promotion and just about every major show from the 1970s until now. The new collection totals almost 1000 tapes. We will start cataloging them and then make them available to you in the near future.". (like how I busted from straight to italic type? How about the slick way I went from speaking in the third person to speaking in the first, and going plural t'boot??). Let's see if RF thanks me for this unsolicited plug.
Finally, WHO CEERS? to Meltzer. Last night was the final installment of his little Internet radio show. Eyada.com is shutting down and Meltzer's show is going with it. I have no feelings about this... never heard a single show.
Maybe it's time for THE EDGE to come back??? Naaah.
I just read one of the funniest things I've seen in months, well, days. I want you all to check it out.
If you know who CRZ (See Our Zed) is, great... if you don't... it doesn't matter. If you know who Luke Johnston is, you'll love this. If you don't know either... well, I STILL think you will enjoy this thing. I loved it.
Here this is just goofy.
TONS of stuff to push tonight. Nothing like exciting wrestling to get the creative juices dribbling.
Of course, keep an eye on the 411 Message Board for up-to-the-SECOND updates posted constantly.... usually by Widro.... in-between hair coloring sessions (Magenta pubes, Widro? For God's sake, WHY?). Yes, 411's Message Board is the very best on the Web. Partially because I don't post on it. God Bless 411's Message Board.
I WOULD push 411's Raw recap.... but it sucked. PK had to crib from another site (he was allowed) and the text came out all jerky. It's a bad read and I won't make you go through it. Go read CRZ's recap instead.
I WILL mention that Craig Letawsky has a new
Ask 411 posted. YOUR questions... HIS answers.... ALL need a life.
Tom Daniels was so giddy with excrement over the fab Raw we saw that he took great delight in ripping on some Internet Douchebags (someone help me trademark that) who were quick to piddle on the Invasion angle almost as soon as it started. (I'd proudly like to point out that I stated last week that I don't judge a Superbowl after only the first couple of downs). He even pulled QUOTES!! It's called Cheap Heat and it's the bomb. (or is that too mid-90s?)
Widro begged me (he assured me that he was in front of his computer on his knees at the time) to mention that 411 has it's
Rankings updated and ready for viewing. I checked it out. The good news, NO JAPS!!! The bad news, NO VILLANOS!!! I'm trying to do what DVD did and pay a wrestler to loudly bitch about the rankings, to drum up interest. (Net Gods know ALL, little ones)
And finally, there is Widro.... Widro produced another edition of
The Voice Of Reason. This time, Wids talks about the little scamp named Hyatte who saved 411 from the MURKY DEPTHS OF INTERNET HELL THAT FEW HAVE EVER SEEN! Yes, Internet Wrestling Hell, enter there and wander aimlessly and ignored with other unread sites as The Shooters, Slash, Respect the Pussy, and just about every single Geocities/Angelfire site there is. (Is Angelfire still around?). Oh dear. Oh my. Thank GOD I showed up.
Oh and Widro also makes some great points about why the WWF shouldn't bring in huge WCW names, or at least they still don't need to.
After only a day, this week's 411's Showcase Commentary was shoved into the archives. I think it's good enough to warrant
a second plug. Greg Hazen's look at the Lost Art of Squashing is an excellent piece.
The day you show modesty towards And Another Thing is the day the Internet Wrestling God dies DemiLoki on AIM.
Well then, let me stave off death by re-plugging
If Joanie Only Knew and
The Champion. By this time tomorrow, with Nason, Bryce, Morse, and Gardner all busy pouring their hearts into various columns, I'm sure to be buried. Oh, not in talent... but in sheer VOLUME. Never in TALENT. You all know I rule. EVERYWHERE.
I want to see some commentary from the readers.... or other web site writers looking to say something different in a different setting. So, you submit a column to href="mailto:email@example.com">ME.
I pick the best one and post it in the Guest column next Monday.
Do NOT title your column or introduce yourself or spend time talking about who you are. Let the meat of your article do the speaking for you. You can have a title for the particular piece, but no "Umbrella" title like "And Another Thing" or "The Fight Club".
This is NOT a chance at an ongoing gig. However, you can submit a new column each week.... if I see consistently good, quality stuff, I'll talk to Widro about getting you aboard full time.
You have until this Friday to submit. AFTER you see the winner's column posted on Monday morning, THEN you can send in your submission column for NEXT week.
I am not looking for anything in particular... just a unique voice with intelligent thoughts. The sky's the limit here. Okay?
Good. Get cracking. This weekend, I'll review all the submissions and offer notes and opinions if you wish.
TAKE US HOME, HONKY!!!
Today... or was that yesterday? Within the last few days, Honky Tonk Man re-visited two favorite topics. Namely Buff and Lawler.
On Buff's dismissal:
You heard it first from me two weeks ago. I predicted Fagwell will not be around long and it has happened. WWF has 86ed the cocky Bishoff ass kisser. Seems he missed all his bookings in the last week and is mommy called WWF to say little Faggy was sick. Many of you agreed with my last commentary about this piece of no talent, crybaby. Mistake, mistake, mistake, come on J.R. there are some good guys out there. I see them every weekend on the indy shows. Give them a shot.
There was Big show with all the stars. As Lawlers says, "the WWF is falling in attendance because me and the Kat are not there." Well, he was there, in an indy show this past weekend with his family and Dogg. The show drew huge numbers folks, 200 people. Holy bats**t, that is such a huge gate that Lawler and his family just have to be brought back to the WWF. Hell 200 more people in a 20,000 seat arena is huge man!!! And the Road Dogg did the job for Lawler. How pathetic.
Not only does he speak.... he speaks HILLBILLY!!!!
The man LIVES the gimmick.
Hokay.... I am on away. As in GONE
Magenta pubes.... good Lord.
This is Hyatte