The Midnight News 7.31.01
Posted By Hyatte on 07.31.01
Raw, A Wrestling Death, Lorne Michaels is Sweating, Scherer, Midajah, Naked Porn Goddess, A Web Guy, The Woman Who Taught Chyna Nothing, and a Stern Decision
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Sure.... 2410 Mendon Road, Cumberland RI 02864. Phone# 401-658-3794
I guess he does NOT want the Stern AAT
Hello. I'm Chris and this is the Midnight News.
Okay... two quick notes then we'll hit it.
1) Good... outstanding response to my poll about doing a Howard Stern AAT. Plus, 90% of you responded the way I ASKED. Little comment... just a simple yes or no. Thank you.
Except for the creep who answered the poll with "maybe".... why you!!! If I EVER FIND YOU!!!!
The Yes's won out fairly easily.... so I'll do it soon. But I'll make sure you all KNOW it's the Stern column.... so you can skip it if you wish.
It won't be a love letter, by the way.
2) The author of that great Wrestling Vixxxen column I posted in full yesterday was very cool about me using it without asking him first. Please send him any and all comments about the column. His name is Mark Rushton
Okay.... that's it. Let's go.
In no real order
-Umm... didn't he have more HAIR?
-Umm... didn't he have LESS forehead?
At first, I was about to groan at the ending. I KNEW that they would end the show with the Rock standing over both McMahons while Ross screamed, "WHOSE SIDE WILL HE BE ON??? WHOSE SIDE???"
But, to their credit, they gave him a mic and he made it all dramatic.... it was a great ending.
"Finally...(huge pop)the Rock... HAS COME BACK... (dramatic pause)to the WWF" Good, stirring, emotional ending.
I'll tell you one thing.... IF there is ANY chance that the Rock WON'T blow off the WWF as soon as he is contractually able, it'll be because of the pops. To hear almost 20'000 people cheer for you with such passion.... nothing can beat it.
He's still gone, but I think he'll do it the right way. It's no secret that the WWF has plans to use the guy as their main access to Hollywood. I think he'll smartly balance the two careers for as long as he can, even when he stops wrestling all together.
Were those CHEERS we heard for X-Pac?
Did those cheers turn to BOOS after everyone realized he WON ANOTHER MATCH???
You know, I wonder who told X-Pac that shaking his fists and arms violently and screaming, "YEEEEAH" and "COME ONNNNN" does NOT make him a babyface anymore.
Nice to see Austin is still doing the comedy thing.
Now... before you listen to Jason Powell and let him convince you why Ross and Heyman suck together, please hear me out....
Yes, Heyman was tame next to Ross. Even though for the past few weeks he has been sold as a maniacal cult figure, he went back to the color chair and acted pretty much like the Heyman who did the job BEFORE ECW entered the WWF/WCW mix.... total illogical move, if you are a slut for continuity.
BUT... consider... how annoying would they have been if Ross and Heyman just screamed at each other for the entire show? How tiresome would it have been if Heyman kept screaming "ECW!!! ECW!!" while Ross screamed, "WWF!!! WWF!!!!" all night?
It would have sucked. Powell would have sent you to your message boards in a RAGE.
He'll probably do it anyway... 'cause too many of you are WAAAY too easy to manipulate.
Basically, they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.
Oh, and how many of you thought that Sylvester Stallone was about to make a Raw cameo?
"Longtime New Jersey independent promoter Dennis Coralluzzo passed away yesterday. He had developed bleeding on the brain late last night and slipped into a coma. The decision was made to disconnect life support after it was determined that he was brain dead. While he underwent bypass surgery a few months back, that had nothing to do with his passing.
In afterlife news, when Coralluzzo stepped into Wrestling Purgatory, Terry Gordy, still getting his ass handed to him by the Von Erichs, reached his hand out to tag... saw who it was.... yanked it back and screamed, "AW CRAP!! A PROMOTER!! YOU'RE NO HELP!!"
Then Gordy screamed as Kerry Von Erich's claw finally caved in his skull.
Take two horrible WWF shows that no one wastes a weekend morning to watch, Live Wire and Superstars.
Throw them up Saturday nights starting in August and what do you get?
WWF Saturday Night Wrestling on TNN!!
Oh thank GOD!! Our prayers have been answered!!!! They FINALLY scored the slot!!
The Torch reports that the WWF and TNN have been keeping these plans on the DL so they can soft sell the advertisers before letting it out.
The Torch DOES cover it's ass by adding that the WWFE may or MAY NOT have finalized the deal yet... they say this just so Scherer won't goof on them if this turns out to be bullcrap. (oh, he will anyway)
BUT... I must say that 11:00 p.m. Saturdays are NOT "prime time" programming.... so 411 and the Torch's headline was WRONG!!!!!!
I usually don't do this, but Dave Scherer actually posed a damn good question in his Lariat yesterday concerning the utter bargain Vince McMahon got for WCW..... I braved the pop-ups (*cough) so you won't have to....
Brad Siegel's job in selling WCW was to get the most for the company that he possibly could. Instead, he got almost nothing.
Now, I am sure that there are some people who will say that Siegel's hands were tied since AOL programming chief Jamie Kellner cancelled wrestling on TNT and TBS. On the surface, that seems true.
But, there are many in the WCW hierarchy who felt that it was actually Siegel who went to Kellner and asked him to cancel the shows. Many people believe that Siegel did not want to sell the company to Eric Bischoff and Fusient Media Ventures. Even if that is not the case, did Brad Siegel do the best that he could in selling WCW's assets for a little more than four million dollars, or did he purposely steer the company away from Eric Bischoff and toward an old friend of his, WWF COO Stuart Snyder? That is a question that more people are starting to wonder by the day.
Hmmm.... I have a funny feeling this story isn't over.
All I care about is that BISCHOFF GOT SCREWED!!!! WHOO HOOOOOOOO
His wife got screwed too, apparently, but that's a different story.
Well, according to The New York Post, the Iron Sheik will be bringing the pain in a New York Comedy club toni... well, last night.
It's a safe bet that I will post select jokes in his act in tomorrow's news.
For reasons known only to him (and that's the way it SHOULD be), long-time reader David Arrington hit me with this EXCLUSIVE NEWS!!!
Midajah, that big assed girly of Scott Steiner, showed up on the soap Days of Our Lives today. She played a waitress/bartender.
Rumor has it, she did so well, she'll be brought in as a full time member.... hopefully, Stephen Nichols will reprise his character "Patch" just so he can show up, see her ass, do a double take, lift up his eyepatch, stare again, and say, "Damn!" Then go right back to General Hospital.
I am deathly ashamed to possess this much soap knowledge.... but back in the day, Patch and Sweetness RULED!!!!
Then there were two Romans.... Hope got a bit ragged out.... Marlena was possessed by Satan... and Hyatte was OUT OF THERE!!!
Who is the most famous porn start today?
Yessiree... it's Jenna Jameson!
Well, since she is a businesswoman, above and beyond all else... it's tough finding nekkid shots of her.
Well, since I'm always looking for naked stuff for YOU... (yeah, like I need to look.... n-word PLEAZE!), here's a site with LOTS of naked Jenna J pix.... and no pop-ups promising HOT ASIAN SLUTS
Who says I don't take care of YOU???
Yeesh.... what a ridiculously bad pun.... meaningless too.
This should interest no one, but Blake Norton, who is a legendary sheet writer, one time editor of WOW Magazine, one time contributor to Wrestleline (and one time only reason to VISIT Wrestleline), is now the FORMER Press Agent to Stampede Wrestling. Web news guys like moi, (and believe me, I was disgustingly tickled to be included in this group), get monthly press releases from Stampede Wrestling in hopes that we keep Internet readers aware of what they are up to.
Anyway, a quick shot over to his site has THIS message from Norton himself:
I'm gone from Stampede Wrestling. It's not nice to get yelled at for something you didn't have anything to do with, particularly when everything you do for a company is free.
So, where do we get our Stampede news from now? Huh? HUH????
Heh, I hear Erik Ashley has a lot of free time on his hands.
Oh, and if you want to see a skinny wrestling reporter get his ass handed to him.... Blake also has posted 7 minutes worth of his match in Calgary.
Ah, and I'll be doing a new And Another Thing tomorrow. No, not about Stern.... about someone else.
And what the hell, how about another plug for Joshua Grut's A Wrestling Tale, this week's 411's Showcase Commentary. Josh tells me he's been getting raves on it, so don't miss it. It'll make your day.
And feel free to send me more column submissions at
It's been a'while, so how about we check in with the ex-Sable and see what
Well according to her, everything’s great, everything's wonderful.... oh she still knows how to relate to her "fans" by going on about Maui and how the beautiful people are doing.
But this grabbed me. Settle back and take in the splendor.... cut directly from her own words (formatted differently by me).
Some of the things that make me feel so good:
-Laughing so hard your face hurts,
Note: Four of her examples have something to do with laughing.
I'm surprised she didn't also mention "cracking that cold fusion equation" or "getting on top of my nitwit husband with the huge wang"
Gotta love how she worked in a plug for her comic book
Oy vey.... Lifestyles of the Rich and Brainless
Okay.... I'm hitting el bricks.... going off to make merry and maybe see "Planet of the Apes"... maybe not.... why pay when I can BE in the movie simply by getting together with my family?
No Brad Pitts in my family tree.... myself included. This is why, to answer a female reader who told me that if I exude even half the confidence to women that I do in this column, girls should be all over me, I am a bitter, bitter man.
This is Hyatte