The Midnight News 8.16.01
Posted By Hyatte on 08.16.01
Scherer Bashes Me, Buff, Buffy, DDP, Helms, Rock vs Duncan, Who Works For MECW?, Tito, Ryder, and Joanie Loves Us.
News light day today... but E-MAIL NEWS HEAVY!!
SO, this is stuff you ain't getting anywhere else. Sort of.
First off, in the tradition of the Mop-Ups... we start off with people talking about MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEE
GET US GOING, HONKY!!
On his newsboard, titled Holy Batsh*t
You think I go off on people. Hyatte at 411wrestling.com "The Midnight News" is light years ahead of me. Dam, this stuff is funny.
The Honky Tonk Man
Well, that was nice of him. If he's reading, I invite him to read my old Mop-Ups in the archives... recapping Raw and Nitro.... you'll see some hard core “going off”.
SCHERER GOES OFF
Think he read yesterdays column where I question the cause of his "stomach virus".
Someone on the 1wrestling bulletin board asked who I was.... Dave decided to answer, his response about me was brief, but then he branched off on Message Boards... specifically TOA:
My own personal view on (Hyatte) is that he is one of those people who realizes that he doesn't have any sources or actual writing ability, so he tries to compensate for that by being Howard Stern-like. In Stern's case, it works because he is a talent. In Hyatt(e)'s case, he just comes off as what he is.
At least he is trying though, unlike hacks that hide on a bitter message board making up ridiculous stories at seemingly every turn. For those of you reading this who seemingly live to bash 1Wrestling, Bob and myself (and you know who you are since you save our pictures and collections of things we wrote when Jimmy Carter was president, for some really psychotic reason), some of you have said that I can be "mean" and treat you badly.
Yes, it's true, I can. I react to people in the manner in which they treat me. Yet, none of you admit that in every instance you have initiated it. You go on your boards and make up stories about things that never happened and say, "See, he's a jerk" because you know I won't waste my time on your sites answering, which of course is exactly what you want me to do.
Ah, but now we have this site humming along, and I will answer their more ridiculous claims here. You all will read my response, but like Steve Corino last Saturday, I won't have to soil myself by stepping onto your skewed and screwed playing field.
Over on wearereallybitterpeople.com, otherwise known as TOA, they have a lively thread today saying we cheerlead for MECW. They say we're are looking for work on their website. Of course, when Bob Ryder posted over there (which I refuse to do again) and gave them the links to both the story we broke of Bagwell not jobbing, plus the Sunday Lariat where I ripped the company, they were, predictably, unable to admit they they were wrong. They also dropped the claim that we were lobbying for web work. Given what we wrote, I think that was wise on their part. With nothing left to be miserable and damning about, they said that the show was unsanctioned. They seem to want to forget the fact that there was a rep from the PA State Athletic Commission there whose job it is to check all of the appropriate paperwork before the match. I guess if I was trying to make an unprovable point, I would do that too. Then, in a really ridiculous moment, a lawyer, er make that paralegal, who runs the site asked what the legal implications of running the (not) unsanctioned show are from a liability standpoint. I guess if he had actually gone to law school instead of settling for being a paralegal, he would have known the answer already and not begged Bob to find out for him. He could have asked also his cohort on the site, Double B, the question as well. B, who actually is, or at least was, a lawyer. But B is too busy making bootleg videotapes, surfing and whoring Vampiro to the masses to answer I guess. Cyberspace is a great place much of the time. But, like any community, there are cesspools you should avoid at all costs.
Wow.... wow. At least he's stopped saying, "I've never heard of him!"
This is what I get for DEFENDING HIM!! DEFENDING THE POP-UPS!! DEFENDING THE PREMIUM SITE!!! BEING NICE TO BOB!!!
This is what I get for actually ASKING PERMISSION TO POST EXERPTS OF 1WRESTLING EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS!!! FOR ANNOUNCING TO EVERYONE READING THE 1WRESTLING ACTUALLY HAS, POUND FOR POUND, THE BEST NEWS ON THE WEB!!!
What a prick. The one influential Net guy who actually sticks up for him. Unless that Porn Dude Rob Feinstein counts as "influential".
Tell you what, I will match ANY one of my And Another Things against ANYTHING his site has ever posted... anyone think Tommy Fierro can out-write me?
And at least I am "talented" enough to recognize what a "Rhetorical Question" is, nitwit... took you a YEAR to figure out that you were F-ing up.
Hopefully, someone will send this to him.... please, also tell him that the real scary part is... I am slowly starting to get sources of my very own... like the guy who told me that it was RUSSO who secretly bashed MECW in the Lariat last week!!
So, for the record... he's a douche, 1wrestling is still the best pure news site out there, the Pop-Ups are a necessary evil which I totally understand and agree with, I doubt ANYONE would agree that I have no talent, I'm a better writer than anyone on that site, and Bob is still a pretty nice guy when you don't piss him off.
Oh, and EVERYTHING he says about boards like TOA is pretty much true... I go to several of them once a week... I see the mess.
Now be nice, or I'll bring up all those UNFOUNDED attacks on Scoops that you used to make a few years ago... attacks YOU started. Back when you were doing your OWN little version of "wearereallybitterpeople.com" about Al Isaacs' popularity. Attacks that helped push me to make fun of you and Bob.... and soon everyone... which really helped make my rep.
Ugh... he really is like an abused puppy.... reacting violently at any sudden movement.
Oh, bro'... it's never good to bring up the fact that you were alive and writing during a Presidential term which many many of your readers weren't even ALIVE for.
BUFFY'S BIG BAD
Some non-wrestling news for you...
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a HARD-CORE fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If YOU are a fan, then you know that every year there is one "Big Bad" villain who sticks around all season long until the end where he/she has a big blow-out with Buffy and loses.
Well, Aint-it-cool.com revealed who THIS coming season's "Big Bad" will be.
If you want to be surprised, skip down to the next story...
Here we go... Willow, Buffy's best friend and a high powered witch (and a LESBO!!!) gets too involved with the black magic.... and is corrupted by it. Willow is the "Big Bad" for the new season.
See, you should have skipped.
None of this takes away the fact that I so badly want to bang the ever-loving crap out of Faith... doggy style.
"Diamond" Dallas Page held a sizable conference call with several reporters. Lots of sites covered it, but because THEIRS IS STILL THE BEST... I pulled the meat of it from 1bob.
-He called the WWF "another Galaxy" compared with WCW. he brought up the usual "Ship without a Captain" situation that was the WCW backstage. He is still working on his pacing and getting used to the larger size WWF rings.
-Says that he always knew that Wrestlemania was the pinnacle of a wrestler's career.
-He feels good being in the WWF because all his friends, Austin, HHH, Foley, Raven, and the Big Show were there already.
-He plans on pushing the envelope on the SummerSlam cage match. Feels it will be a brutal affair.
-Kimberly is still getting paid off from the buy-out until February. After that, seeing the physicality of the WWF Divas, she still may not sign up.
-He says he could have made more money sitting at home, but he wanted to wrestle and wanted to be a part of the "historic Invasion angle"
-Although he loves the "dark DDP" that Paul Heyman created for him, he wishes to end his career as a babyface. He feels his career will end soon and just wants to give it all he has until then.
-He called the Undertaker the "Godfather" of the WWF. A true leader. He is honored to be put in a program with him for his WWF debut.
-In WCW, he had a lot of input into his storylines. In the WWF, it's all mapped out for him, but they are always opened for his suggestion.
-He likes the space of the WWF ring now. Gives him room to groove more.
-Says that he, Booker, and Kanyon are all pumped for SummerSlam, especially since it's the WWF's second biggest PPV of the year. (I might put the Royal Rumble as #2, myself)
-Praised the WWF for it's improvisational skills. Citing the ECW injection into the WCW Invasion angle as an example. Put over Vince McMahon as being extremely hands on.
-Talked about his horrible final year at WCW. He was still recovering (slowly) from a ruptured vertebra due to his feud with Randy Savage. In 1997 and 1998, he was only making 12 to 25% of what the other headliners were making. In his final year, he asked Brad Siegal for a contract buy-out at 55 cents on the dollar. Siegal refused. WCW folded anyway and he did get his buy-out anyway.
-He would like to squeeze three more wrestling years out of his body, but will settle for two and do some commentating for a year.
-He bashed the WCW idea of putting the belt around David Arquette's waist. He swears that Arquette was against it too. Says that Russo had made up his mind about the idea and once that happens, Russo never changes it.
-When he was in WCW, he maintained contact with HHH, Foley, The Big Show, and Austin. Nowadays, he talks to Bischoff and Nash. Says they are his friends.
-Says that he was blown away when told that he'd be the Stalker. Called his unmasking one of the best moments of the year (I dearly hope he doesn't consider the follow-up promo one of his best). Said that Kimberly loved the idea too.
-Feels that the Big Show has worked harder this month than at any other time in his career.
-Talked about being dyslexic and how he supports the cause now. Is thrilled that the WWF is known for getting into this kind of charity too. Says that he read his first book at 32 years old and now reads all the time.
I don't know... he may be a prick, if the rumors are true... but he is damn sure HAPPY to be where he is.
BUFF ONLY LOOKS LIKE A FRUIT!!
Yesterday, I ran a link from the Big Brother Net feed where the gay dude claimed that Buff Bagwell liked to go to gay bars.
Well, Chopz gave me the TRUTH... and got in a few shots at Buff too. You'll enjoy this.
I hate Marcus Bagwell, on a personal level mind you, you see I use to work at this place called Three-13 a few years ago where in addition to many WCW workers, lots of office people some developmental guys but Bagwell was a regular of sorts as he had been going to this place since he was 16. So don't think I am in any way trying to defend him. since We where in his Hometown (Marietta, GA.) I guess he felt obligated to be an egotistical asshole, go figure right?
I won't even go in to some of his shenanigans because quite frankly there just ain't enough room. I can tell you that he was dropped by damn near every stylist in that place for constant no shows, bad tipping ( a dollar on a 28.00 bill!).
I can confirm the leg implants,
I can also confirm that he HATES Black men, especially since his wife left him for Earnest Miller, and then had his baby (all true I swear!)
But unfortunately he's not Gay, and more unfortunate he doesn't live with his Mom, he lives in a custom built house in Woodstock. Although his Mom IS a annoying meddlesome bitch who it seems is always an earshot from him at all times.
Now the Gay club in question I think would be Backstreet in Atlanta. Sure it is a gay club, but is also probably the most trendy club in town (they serve booze 24/7!). So everyone goes their gay or straight. As a matter of fact in may of 2000 at Backstreet I met The Wall ( said his name was Jerry)Disco Inferno, and Chuck Palumbo, all three where super cool, and oddly enough disco was way smaller then I thought he would be, and a lot cooler.
At any rate unless Bagwell was seen in some other town by himself, I'd say that he ain't gay, plus the girl he just got divorced from was HOT although a huge bitch and very young, Erika Parker was her name. She was one of the girls in that stupid master card commercials. I wish he was a fag but unfortunately sloppy skills and juvenile backstage politics are the only real things we can knock him on, oh well.
There you go... Buff is ALL MAN!!!
Wow... His wife ran off with Ernest Miller! Sinful. That's almost as decadent as Bischoff's Wife ravaging strippers.
HE AIN'T NO HAL JORDAN ON THE MICROPHONE
The Green Lantern kid, Greg Helms did not impress too many WWF people with his monosyllabic mic work on Monday, so don't look for him to get too many promos.
It looks as the WWF sees him as a solid small guy with talent. So expect a recurring role on Jakked for the kid Madden once called "HB2K"
That was from No Hold's Barred.com
HEAL YOURSELF FROM THIS, GREEN MILE BOY!
A fellow named Cream told me that in the latest Premiere magazine, there is a report that the Rock screwed up a stunted punch with co-star Michael Clarke Duncan on the set of The Scorpion King and knocked him out cold. Rocky felt so bad afterwards that he bought MCD a watch as an apology. The crew of the movie made it into a running joke.
I have nothing of comedic value to add here. Scaia blows.
THE MECW LINE-UP
MECW's website is now up and running. I didn't go there, but "Reject" from Random Wrestling did... and he says it SUCKS!!
But, one thing of interest on the site is the LINE-UP of talent they claim are with the promotion... for the record, and so those wrestlers who didn't know they were with MECW can sue (these guys LIE!!) here is what they have as their talent base...
Randy "Macho Man" Savage
"Dr. Death" Steve Williams
The Road Warriors
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes
The Rock n Roll Express
and Scott Hall
Oh, I suspect the Law Offices of Jacoby & Meyers will be fielding PHONE CALLS A'PLENTY once this gets out.
ARRIBA!! ARRIB...OH WHY BOTHER?
It doesn't get more depressing than this.
Someone, I forgot who, reported that Tito Santana, legendary 80's superstar, wrestled and defeated Don Vega during a South Coast Championship Wrestling card in Fall River, Mass.
The total crowd for the show.... 37 people.
Still want to be a pro wrestler?
SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN'
You did notice but wasn't sure if you caught this....
The recent release of Marion "Suge" Knight has caused recent panic among certain "white folk", possibly fearing an uprising amongst the "Gangsta Rap" community.
Gangsta Rap's origins can be traced back to mid eighties when a group from Los Angeles (straight outta compton) brought ghetto strife to mainstream consciousness.
This group was known as N.W.A. and it's members included DJ Yella, MC Ren, Ice Cube, Dr Dre and the late Eazy-E.
Easy E was also the nickname of Eric Bischoff, who brought the WCW to it's greatest heights, but was partially responsible for it's eventual downfall due to bad booking decisions and trusting the wrong people.
Bischoff reportedly is now out of the wrestling business and has formed "Battle Management" which will represent various Mixed Martial Arts fighters.
This story was reported in a recent article by Variety magazine but brought to the on line wrestling communities attention by...
Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin'
Four juicy columns to keep you occupied.... according to Widro, since none of them are written by HIM, none of them will be read... geeze.
Time once again to look at our watches and see that yes, it's....
Time for a TAKE!!
Joe Rivett puts out his best article so far as he posts readers theories on what it takes to SUCK as a wrestler... and also compares X-Pac to his suggested list of qualifications one must have in order to really suck. Guess what, according to logic, X-Pac cannot POSSIBLY suck. Compelling read. You'll enjoy it.
Ron Gamble's always dependable World According To Ron colors over the week in wrestling and has some fun with the readers over Booker T's script reading. For light and breezy reading, Gamble's your man.
Is Rob Van Dam doomed to follow the same career path as Shawn Michaels? Is there REALLY anything wrong with that? Well, Tom Daniels uses this week's Cheap Heat to ask and answer that question. He also goes over the rise of HBK and compares it to RVD's current WWF take-off.
Finally, Ben Morse shows up with another edition of The Mean. This week, Ben offers yet ANOTHER viewpoint on X-Pac and does so with his usual philosophical bent. You know what, maybe it really IS time to let the little Paccer out of the doghouse.
Read this and see if you agree. Oh, and this column also has a CAMEO appearance by Widro... so hits should SKYROCKET!!
Honky's earned a night off, so how about I get someone else to help me wrap up the news with a peak at some...
Now, I was all set to pull a few words from Jake Robert's site... but then Ben Miner checked out Joanie Laurer's new website and discovered that she has finally posted a message. Since Ben was feeling saucy, he decided to send me her message, and add some "between the lines" comments as he saw them. So, we give it off to Ben to DAZZLE you with what he thinks Joanie REALLY means and blah blah blah.... take it away, Benjy!!
From Joanie's web site... dated August 14th:
Hi everyone! (both of you)
I've just released the schedule for a long series of appearances I'll be doing from now right into the spring of 2002 (when I come out of hibernation)! You'll find it on my site at http://www.bodybyjoanie.com/appearances. I do hope that I'll be able to meet you somewhere along the way if I come to a town near you (can I crash on your couch? Things aren't going so good). I'll be adding more appearances soon, so be sure to stay tuned to my Appearances page for updates and additions to the schedule (I don't have much else to do these days other than update this site relentlessly)! It'll be a busy time...I'm headed to stops throughout the U.S. and Canada! (my money will go farther up there)
Also, I wanted to let you know that I've just added my first Scrapbook to my Members section (emphasis on "scrap"). It's called "Backstage Pass" because it shows backstage shots of me with all my friends from my WWF days, including Stone Cold, Debra, Shawn, and many more (What? No midgets?!).
Coming soon will be more scrapbooks including my Playboy photo shoot (Remember? I posed for Playboy!) and appearances, some early wrestling, boxing and fitness competition photos, and a whole lot more (S&M; shots of Hunter cornholing me)!
If you haven't joined, you can do so at http://www.bodybyjoanie.com/join (I need the money!). I have received tons of compliments on the site (From douchebag webgeeks), so I'm glad to hear so many of you like it. I've also gotten some questions about leaving the WWF (aka my career suicide), which I answered in my last Diary entry (Dear diary, I miss having a hammer) and in the article now on the News page. I'll have more comments on the site very soon for members and visitors both (of you)!
I've also had some requests for more 8x10 autographed photos for sale (Ripley's can't get enough!). I just completed a photo shoot recently (For National Geographic), so I'll have a couple of all-new photos available autographed very soon (Pre and post-op pics)!
Also, we're planning a couple of very exciting opportunities (First one to find my dignity wins a prize) for fans. Watch the site for details on two new events (The release of my first film and my subsequent Hollywood blacklisting). One is a private signing where you'll be able to send your own items in to me for autographs (Like my Playboy issue! I posed for Playboy! Remember?), and the other is a very exciting auction of all kinds of memorabilia from my career (All 15 minutes of it), including one-of-a-kind outfits used in matches, photos (I know you love me), posters (So you can play pin the penis on Chyna!), awards (Bowling trophies), and more! I recently cleaned house getting ready to move (The bank just foreclosed), so I packed up some great stuff for the auction (Garage sale). It's going to be a lot of fun...there's some stuff in this auction that I haven't even seen in ages (Like my testicles)...and now you can take a crack at winning it! Watch the site for details!
Thanks for being a fan (Both of you)!
Love, Joanie (Ben Miner is my sex god)
HAW... some of those were really funny... heh... "cornholing me"... HA
I'm gone... but before I leave, I have to tell you this little piece of business....
There is NOTHING... and I mean NOTHING funnier than when Gilbert Godfreid does an hour on the Howard Stern show... I'm sorry, but when Gilbert's on Stern for an hour and is just riffing away.... there is not a single other radio show that can TOUCH it.
This is Hyatte