The Midnight News 09.28.01
Posted By Hyatte on 09.28.01
Tough Enough, Massa Vince, MECW Sucks and Here's Why, The Maestro, Meltzer, Keller, Star Trek, CRZ, Whatever Happened to Scoops, and Letters to Widro
Hello, I'm Chris.
Interesting, a lot of you are screaming, "I don't buy this new attitude at all!! You just want attention!! You want to be cool, but you are pathetic!! You are just doing an Internet Heel turn and it's blowing up in your face!!! You are so desperate in making sure we know that you don't care that it's obvious that you really DO care! You suck Hyatte!! You lost your edge!!"
Explain to me what my "edge" was to begin with. I don't get that.
As far as being "desperate"... well, I guess that is taken from the few times I have said, basically, "LOOK AT ME, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!"
Christ, can't ANY of you idiots recognize when I goof on myself? I've been sort of doing it for YEARS!! In fact, a great many people have seen that there really are no changes here... except on a philosophical level.
Geniuses... try to see beyond the obvious for once... if you're able.
Incidentally... f-ing with your heads is something I LOVE to do... and like I said... this is all just to amuse ME! So not only do I NOT care whether you think I'm serious or not... or whether I'm just running a gag... but the fact that YOU care enough to be infuriated and/or delighted by what I'm doing is tickling me to no end. Catch 22, baby.
Oh, and those guys who trash me on the 411 board kiss my ass in e-mails... another reason why I laugh at this net thing now.
Want me gone? Stop reading. Period. Widro will dump me if that happens. You'll never hear from me again... I promise. I won't turn up anywhere else... I'll vanish.
Or maybe I am just working you.... Allah praise the allmighty mindf*ck.
TOUGH ENOUGH FOR CORNETTE'S TENNIS RAQUET??
Dumb title (but I don't CARE!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ooops, I'm being desperate again...), but the winner of Tough Enough is the black guy, who USED to be called "Maven" but probably will get a name change unless Scott Levy is suddenly killed in a strange car accident won... and one of the girls won. (I didn't pay the show much attention... too many scenes with the kids lying around exhausted). The big guy who ran the show said that all the kids will probably get a shot, however.
Personally, I think that young kid is cute enough to get the girls all nice and gooey. He can be the Hardys "Spike"-like cousin or something.
ONE BROTHER IN... ONE BROTHER OUT
Because Vince McMahon, a long time ago, decided that there should only be a set number of black performers in his company, the arrival of "Maven" means the firing of K-Kwick... who will not be re-signed, according to Scherer.
Upon hearing of his firing, K Kwick promised to hunt down Road Dogg and kick the ever loving shit out of him... for ruining his career before it even got started.
THE FALL AND... WELL MORE FALL OF MECW
John Collins has officially stepped down from any direct involvement with MECW, he'll still keep a very small interest in it, but will have nothing to do with running the thing... this all now belongs to Tod Gordon.
I think it's high time EVERYONE starts treating MECW news as NON-NEWS, please!! It's a friggin' lame ass Indy company for crying out loud... enough with the press.
STRO' MAN, STRO' MAN
Scherer reports that the "Stro... formerly WCW's "Maestro" is actively seeking gainful employment. He works cheap... and gives great blowjobs. Contact him here. Hell, he'll even babysit your children. Wash your car. Hell.. he'll do both!
WHY THE NET SUCKS!
If you're looking for MORE proof why I suddenly realized just how dippy this net thing is... here are two examples.
1: Meltzer's Observer is now re-designed... and all pages feature a picture of HIM sneering with a gay ass "rasslin" face. This is the alleged "most respected dirt sheet writer there is" and he has to make a "Look at me pretend to be a WORKER!!" sneer on his face. You just don't see the guys at Sport's Illustrated wearing tar under their eyes or posing with a big wad of chaw in their mouths... do you? OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!
2: Keller's The Torch, which just uses the website as a promotional vehicle for it's newsletter. now has pop-ups... just like Ryder does (although certainly not as much). What’s the matter, Wade? Subscriptions not being re-newed?
So much for the high and mighty douchebags! They are just as lame as the rest of them.
THE FINAL NAIL
Wanna see what happens to web sites after I leave them? Witness...
Tina's Free Live Cam
Hi, my name is Tina. I am 19 and currently a student in New York City. I like to show off on my webcam at iFriends. Bookmark my page!
iFriends is a cool place because it has a FREE MEMBERSHIP and you can go there and watch other peoples webcams or show off on your own webcam. You don't even need a camera or special software or anything to watch webcams - It's all just a click away :-).
Go there and you'll see a girl removing her shirt in four still camera shots.
Oh, right.. where are you going? Heh... you are going to
If Al was really that girl with a manly voice, I would have NEVER left....
Alas... brings a tear to my eye... from laughing. Remy never should have tried to tinker with me. We still would've been a huge site. And I might still have cared.
THE MIDNIGHT NEWS HOLLYWOOD REPORT
In honor of the new Star Trek series, (Bakula RULES!!), I thought I'd pay a visit to that mysterious site that dishes gossip and hearsay on top stars just because it can and pull some facts on famous characters from the Star Trek franchise. It was tougher than you might think... Sulu keeps a very low profile.
Alley, Kirstie. Divorced from Parker Stevenson. $cientologist. Given to boasting publicly about her partners' sexual skill. Recovering drug addict. Has a torture chamber in her house. Linked with James Wilder.
Goldberg, Whoopi. Former teenaged streetwalker. Former heroin addict. Formerly involved with Ted Danson (a worse crime?). Possible involvement with Patrick Stewart. Linked with Frank Langella. Hygienically challenged. Difficult to work with.
Roddenberry, Gene. Unpleasant martinet; repeatedly cheated on his wife, who deserved much better. Slept with Nichelle Nichols.
Shatner, William. Depending on who you talk to, either a humorless martinet and control freak or a charmingly conceited man. Alcoholic. FOD ("Friend of Dorothy"... ie: gay).
Slater, Christian. Recovering and seemingly current alcoholic and drug user. Abuser of women. Linked with Christina Applegate, Patricia Arquette, Courtney Cox, Mary Stuart Masterson, Samantha Mathis, Winona Ryder, and Christy Turlington.
Spiner, Brent. Reportedly linked with Marina Sirts, Gates McFadden, and numerous others. Also reportedly a very closeted Friend of Dorothy.
Stewart, Patrick. Reportedly temperamental. Said to pack one of the largest weapons in Hollywood. Hits on everyone in sight. Possible involvement with Whoopi Goldberg.
Jean Luc has a big shlong?? No wonder that queen, Q adored him.
You'll notice, (as if I CARE!!! AHAHAHAHAAAA)... I pushed things a bit by using Christian Slater... but he DID have a 5 second cameo in the sixth movie.
SIDENOTE ABOUT TREK... STARRING CRZ
Yesterday, I was talking to CRZ... he said that he was going to blow me off because Enterprise was about to start on the west coast. I told him to log off before I ruin the surprise ending... he ran away faster than Scaia did when he stumbled into the girls locker room in high School by accident. There was no surprise ending... HAW!!! I found him later and busted his balls.
Once again... whether you liked this mini-tale or not means NOTHING to me!!! Look at me!! I'M EVIL!!!
Here's the Smackdown recap.
That's all we have for tonight.... unless someone posted the Tough Enough recap before this went up.
TAKE US HOME, WIDRO
Rather than go to a wrestler website... Widro was nice enough to send me a few e-mails he's gotten DEMANDING that I be fired. One of them from a familiar name.
Wildro. I used to be a big fan of Hyatte's but his ego is just out of control. He thinks he can bad mouth his readers, skip Raw recaps, not do his job, and retain readers? Well not this one.
I don't like being told I'm unimportant daily. I'm not coming back to 411 until he's off the news.
If he wants to right a column filled with his self congratulatory thoughts, then fine. But if he's supposed to report the news he should report for us, not him.
Thanks for the ride. It was fun.
Why should I report for YOU... what do you give me in return?
And his name is NOT "Wildro"
You ARE unimportant... a guy who writes on the web is telling you this... it's your problem that this bothers you.
Hello there I'm a fan of your site and it has become my one place I stop for all my news. I have been watching wrestling for a very long time sence I was 5 with my grandmother. I'm 24 now and I rember when I found hyatte's work on scoops I found it fresh and funny and have followed him sence. He is also the reason that I found your site, But the thing is sence the mop-up's on your site ended. Actally before they came to a halt
I have been highly offend by him and yesterday was the last straw when he showed that he did not care about his job or the fan's that made him. I for one and I know several others will no longer come to your site til he is either humbled or fired like he asked for. he is in need of a reality check, and lets face it a monkey could do what he is doing with the news.
He thinks he is the end all of writers but he is a recapper that is it. He can make a funny recap but it does not work with news so please take this serious, and for what it is a plea to you before you loose more fans of your site for a pompus ass!
The monkey would want to get paid.
No one "made" me either... except for Mom and Dad... one of them is dead and the other one should be. This notion that the readers "make" the writers is retarded... when it comes to the web.
"Also, in case you're wondering... the official opinion from Widro about this is that he does NOT want the news to become another version of the Mop-Up. "It's the last thing I want" was his actual words. My actual response was "feel free to fire me then". So that's where we stand. Widro's under the delusion that the site MUST have a serious news column like 100% of the other silly F-ing sites out there.... just having the best Newsboard out there isn't enough. "
He owns you. He got you by the balls! How will you react? You will do absolutely nothing!
And, geez, he questions his boss' decisions. I once got fired for that.
Gee Dave, imagine that... maybe it's because I never got second and third chances from Widro only to crap on him each time? Maybe I'm still on my first chance?
Oh, and try to realize just how seriously Widro takes all this... seeing how he sent these letters to me.
You have two choices... keep reading or go away. Crying to Widro won't do anything.
This is Hyatte