The Midnight News 6.17.02 

Posted By Hyatte on 06.17.02

Fallout, Austin, The Rick, Hawaii, Halls of Shame, Ms Lightning, Whatever Happened to Chasey Lain, Ryder vs Everyone, The Return of the All American, and Flame Mail Galore 

Remember when being Catholic was safe and Ozzy was dangerous? 

Cory Carlson 

Yeah, everything was so clear back then. Jesus. 

Hello, I'm Chris and this the Midnight News. Interesting week... interesting weekend. All hell broke loose, in more ways than one. Too much stuff to cover... completely OVERLOADED... again. 

Early risers noticed that there were a couple of different columns out last week. Well, I overestimated the space I had to work with and one thing got pulled. It's here this week. Something else also got pulled for different reasons... and I'm not going to address it until I really have to, or want to... so don't ask. 

But, relating to that pulled item, I have a special message to a special person... ahem... Nice to see you're still the first in line to read my stuff. That was just a reminder... I'm ALWAYS watching. 

We have so much stuff to cover this week.... most of it having NOTHING to do with wrestling, but still fascinating stuff all the same. The Austin story comes first... then the NEXT two newsbites have to do with the whole Net "thing" (I refuse to call it a "feud" or a "war"... I prefer to call it a "Police Action"). I'm telling you right now that after those two bites, The Netcock doesn't get mentioned (sort of and other than in the flame mails)... so to the 50% of you who have zero interest in this, you can skip it all and get right to the non-police action stuff. There is SO much stuff in here, I KNOW I'll have to cut some out. 

And if you get sick of me and click off midway through... then I'll remind you that next week I'm doing the Mop-Up, so no news from me. I'm sure Ashish will cover. 


I had an opinion on this whole thing by Tuesday, and I had a source. But I wanted to wait until I watched Confidential before deciding. 

Here's what you may NOT know. I have a couple of sources. Nothing huge, nothing important... hardly called "sources" really. Just friends who like my shit. One of them is VERY good friends... lifelong... with a WWE employee... one YOU'VE seen on TV... frequently. 

Well, my friend talked to this employee Monday night, AFTER Raw. He asked about Austin walking off. The employee said, "It's all part of a large, upcoming storyline!" I swear this is true. 

Now, I'm not saying it's a work... I'm saying that at the time, Jim Ross, Vince, and the management had no idea WHAT to say yet.... so, since the company is all about spin control, I think their IMMEDIATE response was "Tell EVERYONE who asks that it's a work until we figure it all out!!" I'm thinking this is the deal. "It's a work" was for spin control... OR, Vince and Ross just thought that if this could smooth itself over nicely, they could turn it into anything they wanted and get a "pop". It's been known to happen. 

Then I saw Confidential. It's the real deal. 

First, Vince isn't that good an actor. But more importantly, Jim Ross spoke. NOT Good Ol' JR, but Jim Ross, President of Talent Relations. Jim Ross didn't exactly TRASH Austin, he was just to the point. Hard. Business-like. 

But the thing is, Jim Ross sold me because he essentially put his soul on the line. Meaning, he wasn't in character when he spoke. He essentially put his honesty and his reputation on the table and said, "Look, no bullshit, this is real. Austin will NOT be on Raw tomorrow night and I don't see how he can EVER be on WWE programming ever again at this point in time." Now, how would he look if it DID turn out to be a work? He'd be a ball faced liar. Maybe he is a weasel in real life (I heard some horror stories about him), but Jim Ross is the one guy who TRULY knows the importance of staying honest with the audience. He knows that the audience is what it's all about... and when the stakes are real, especially in the age of the Internet, and it's Jim Ross talking, the audience needs to hear the truth. 

So, it's real. And then things went completely nuts... 


So, there I was.... Saturday morning at 2:15 am when Matt IMmed me.... 

IceCold242 (2:16:47 AM): so Austin is a wife beater now eh? 

So I looked around... yup, The Observer had this... 

Police were called to the home of Steve Williams (Steve Austin) at 4 a.m. last night when wife Debra called claiming she had been attacked. Steve was gone by the time police arrived, and saw Debra with a welt under her left eye and bruises to her shoulders and back. She told the police she was reluctant to call because of her husband's celebrity status but that things like this had happened before. This was reported earlier tonight on the KMOL News (NBC affiliate) in San Antonio. 

Rajahwwf had the same item posted... 

TWO HOURS LATER.... I doublechecked, looking to pull the story for the news.... 

4:00 am: "The item you are looking for is not found" That was on the Observer. 

4:03 am: "Cannot find item" From Rajah. 

T'was a HOAX!!! A quick look through "real" news sites "MSNBC" yielded nothing. 

So, I'm loving this.... both Meltz and Rajah (by proxy) dodged a bullet in the wee hours. Except for the fact that I WAS AROUND!!! 

Oh, and the Netcock was around too, answering his letters and showing off his intelligence to the rubes. 

So, CHEERS to Meltzer for trying to cover his ass butt quick. 

and JEERS to Rajah for STUDYING the Observer and copying EVERYTHING they do. Jesus, guys. (Actually, Rajah gets a free pass... they always have cool stuff that no one else gets) 

The problem is... it was NOT a hoax... the two sites just jumped the gun before confirming then pulled the story until they knew for sure. Something Al Issacs would have NEVER done (he tended to keep the story in, hoax or not.... drove Dave Scherer and Bob Ryder CRAZY.... those were the good ol' days, when Bob and Dave would spend pages on what a horrible site Scoops was and how bad Al was) 

So, here's the deal... Austin allegedly beat Debra... she called the cops... he got into his brand new Corvette and took off. The cops arrived, call Austin's cell phone and told him to come back. Austin said "Hell No". As of this printing, Austin is still on the run! 

Seems that Austin has been doing a LOT of running away lately, hasn't he? 

I hate to go crazy with the supposing and the guesswork... but he's stressed out. After YEARS of being a mid card player, he breaks out HUGE.... then his neck is almost destroyed. He comes back. He's nowhere NEAR as big as he once was, The Rock stole his thunder. Meanwhile, his first wife bailed. Took their kids and flew ALL THE WAY to Britain (you hate to jump to conclusions... but doesn't that make a little more sense now?), he's having a bad year in his job, and he was just told (come on, Austin knew that his career is on permanent hold... he didn't find out on Confidential with the rest of us... he knew) that he was more or less fired. He was never much of a "happy" guy to begin with. 

Plus, he's a WRESTLER, for Chrissakes.... do you see wrestlers as the most STABLE of human beings? 

Still, innocent until proven guilty. Just don't hold your breath waiting for him to come back. He's gone, kids. Now we get HHH as the top guy. He ain’t gonna sell a single seat. 

Finally, what does Bob Ryder have to say about this? I KNOW you want to find out... 

If true, however, we have witnessed a remarkable self-destruction of someone who just a week ago was one of the most popular figures in the entertainment industry. 

If these reports are true, and we have verified that the reports did air on San Antonio television, I don't care how many tickets he has sold, how many tshirts he has sold, how many action figures he has sold, how many asses he put in takes a special kind of coward to beat up a woman. 

It's a story that's almost impossible to believe. In fact, my first reaction when I got email about it last night was (appropriately enough).....WHAT???? 

Beating up people in the ring is easy. It's fake. Outside the world of wrestling, though, it's not as easy to be a badass. People in real life don't stand still and take a boot to the gut and lean into a stunner. My guess is that in real fights, Austin wouldn't have near the won/loss record he has in the WWE. Maybe that's why Austin, if the reports are true, picked an easy opponent. 

Finally, no REALLY.... 

Hey!! Do you know what kind of drink makes my wife listen? 


HEY!! What do you call a woman with two black eyes? 

Nothin!!!! done told her TWICE! BUTIGOTTATELLYA!!!! 

HEY!!! Do you know how to make your wife squeal during anal sex? 

F*CK HER BROTHER!!!!! (that was for Scaia! Make him feel at home!) 

Let's go to some nicer stuff now... 


Was it real? Did I make everything up? Was Matt lying? 

Nope. And I'll tell you this... I've known the guy for almost a year, and not once has he changed his story. Besides, isn't it TOTALLY in Keith's character to behave in the manner that was described? 

Anyway, Mini-Lips had a response to all this... got himself registered over at CRZ's wienerville and posted.... TWICE in fact. Here are his responses combined as one: 

Actually, either Hyatte took the time to make up an entire AIM conversation, or Matt Martisek was lying about a ton of stuff, because 90% of what was in that conversation he printed is totally untrue. 

The truth is far less exciting -- Matt offered me a job as script supervisor for his movie (which was to have been shot this May), no financial terms were discussed, we talked about various movies on the phone for a couple of hours, he said that he'd send me the script and casting tapes to look at, and I never heard from him again. 

Everything else printed in that column is a total fabrication. 

There's a difference between criticizing someone's writing and outright libel, and that AIM conversation was drifting pretty close to that. 

Hell, I can even show the original Delphi message he was referring to, which completely contradicts his version of what I supposedly said. 

"Just to show that Jeremy's not the only one who can break into the mainstream entertainment world, it turns out a movie producer is a fan of mine, and he offered me a job as script supervisor for an upcoming thriller called "Dark Nights", starring John Cusack. I'll even get a cameo in the movie and probably get to fly down and be part of the crew and everything. See, now if I can get into Hollywood as a screenwriter, THAT'S where my dream job lies. " 

There ya go. 

I don't what the motivation was here -- if it's a joke on Hyatte's part, then whatever. But amidst the crap that IS justified in criticizing me for, I just wanted to clear the air on the stuff that's total bullshit. 

And that's my last word on the subject. 

Well, what's he GOING to say? "Yup, he nailed it. It's all true!" Of COURSE he'll deny. 

I'm wondering, if this was a way in to his "dream"... then why didn't Scott keep contacting him? ... and I never heard from him again. Why not? If I was the guy being offered this opportunity... I would HAMMER the guy with e-mails do whatever it took to reach out to him... show him I'm serious. If this was MY dream, I wouldn't let the guy get AWAY with "... and I never heard from him again.. Not until I had an answer.... seeing how it's my DREAM and all. 

Well, Matt has e-mailed me a response to this... but first, someone on wienerville made a great point right after Keithy posted... I liked it so much it's going in: 

If this Matt guy is lying to damage SK's reputation than he truly is a weasel. But the fact that li'l Scotty had to "run" not walk to his own defense shows that something hit close to home for everyone's favorite punching bag that isn't named Shannon. 

And, THIS post actually made me laugh. 

Did you read the Midnight News or did "someone tell you" about the AIM conversation? 

Finally, here is what Mr. Martisek had to say: 

From the desk of the next Ernest Hemingway: 

First of all, thanks to all those who asked for a copy of my script (over 200) and have read it. It got wonderful reviews and I am extremely happy with it and will be turning it in as my writing sample for my job at Disney. So thanks readers, anyone that wants a copy just has to e-mail me. Abraham, great review dude. 

Anyway, so Scott Keith responded to my small interview. That is nice. Brought his chins with him too I see. By chins, I am not speaking just of his triple chin, but also of his followers that jumped all over my case. 

Though the reviews for the interview were about 90/10 positive, I must say that the 10 percent had nothing going for them. To respond to one, I am a mark for Chris. As much as a mark as I am for any friend or family member of mine. People may not realize, Chris and I are friends and I just didn't come running to him with this info. So there goes that point. 

As for Keith... You make me laugh buddy. As you responded it had no effect on you and some things were libelous? Let me just poop on this for a second. Keith, you are a hack of a writer, I have inside info that says you were not only hurt, but your trust was broken... What trust? Keith do you not have a clue? You never listened, thought you were the greatest, ripped on my friends who work for the WWF/E... of course I gave you no trust. I expected none in return. That is the beauty of it though, 2 horrible books and a man thinks he is on his way to greatness... I am just a blue collar guy Keith, trying to live my dream. People relate to me. Who relates to you? You are crude and insult everyone and you make sure your comments aren't just criticisms, but also hurtful. You are Sean Shannon before he left. This makes me laugh. This whole situation. 

So I am asking Keith, keeping this letter short. Write, write and write. Then let's compare, see who has the better skills and who has more fans. People don't want The Comic Book Guy to write their movies. This is an early clue to get out, leave... vamoose. 

Keith... until next time 

Matt Martisek 

Last note on the topic.... a couple of people told me that whatever product SK had out this week seemed a bit... "pussywhipped" was the exact terminology. Take that for what it's worth. 

Besides, he lied about never applying to the WWF (E).... and he didn't exactly DENY that little nugget (4 times)... because it would be pretty easy to proof. So who can believe ANYTHING he says? It's all about being taken seriously with him anyway. 

In a couple of weeks, I'm posting some MORE stuff about him.... a blast from Netcop's past. He may begin sweating now. Douchebag. 

Why am I doing this? I'll explain one day. 


For some unGodly reason, resident girl hater Rick Scaia decided to contact Matt and comment. Here is what Rick had to say during an AOLIM chat with Matt... it's paraphrased, but he swears this was the deal: 

"It would be a waste of my time to start a netwar with a site as unprofessional as 411"... "I put a better site together in weeks" "my fans are what wrestling is all about and so is Scott Keith, he is a friend and I wish you would drop your vendetta" "by the way, I dont drink wine coolers" "leave me out of your games" 

Oh really? Don't worry, Dicky... I haven't forgotten about you. I haven't forgotten how you sold your loser soul to Sportsline and became their complete f*cktool. No one forgot how you cheerfully snipped off your own balls and tossed them away Mr. Company Man. What happened to that Company, Rick? Oh, right... your awesome skills couldn't keep the site afloat could it? No matter how much of a stooge you became. You sit there in your apartment (you still call yourself a VIKING, Rick? You know Vikings used to deal with those long journeys overseas not banging WENCHES, but banging each other? Perfect for you) wondering, "I don't get it, I was supposed to be RICH off this net thing!". Now you're BEGGING your audience.. "Oh, no... I'm ME again!! The Old Scaia is BACK!! Yeah.... I haven't forgotten. Your site is shit. Your writers suck. And No one on your message boards can seem to spell. 411 = NEW CONTENT.... EVERY DAY. How's THAT for a concept?? We ROCK your faggoty ass. You and the Netcock... Buttpirates. 

And where are those pictures I demanded YEARS ago? Those pictures of you and your "comrades" watching the PPV's? You used to brag about the mighty house parties you had, then you stopped. Why? I also know how you are so f*cking paranoid that you can't talk to any of my friends without saying, "Now, don't tell Hyatte about this!! You aren't talking to Hyatte about me are you? Hyatte isn't around, is he??" 

"Keep me out of it... wah, wah, waaaaah".... spooge. You're nothing without Mike Samuda carrying your fat ass... and the Net knows it. 

That ENDS the Net Update.... onto other things. 


Well, they came to Hawaii. Bruce Willis was there!!! No word as to whether he went nuts and screamed "Yippy Ki Aye, Mutha... ew... never mind, lame joke that's better off cut short. Here are the results: 

Torrie Won the Swimsuit Challenge 

Tajiri b Christian 

Albert and Devon b Randy Orton and Funaki 

Billy Kidman b Lance Storm 

Val Venis b Test 

The Hurricane b Jamie Noble 

Billy & Chuck b Faarooq & Hugh Morris 

Rikishi b Kurt Angle 

The Rock b Chris Jericho 

After the match, Rock cut a promo on Jericho. At the end he gave him a Rock Bottom. After Jericho left, Rock broke character and thanked the fans and his family. He started to cry when he talked about his grandfather. 

The last time the WWF was in Hawaii was May of 1994. So as you can imagine, the crowd was hot from the start. They popped HUGE for the Fink and everyone else. 

It was a legit sellout of 9,000. 

No HOGAN?? No HHH?? No AU... oh, right... he's part of the Raw brand (heh) 

9'000? That's it? I pull a bigger crowd when I masturbate in my driveway! 

I don't know... but I like hearing about our tropical brother sitting out there in the Pacific. 

Apparently, Jeff Segawa has found an outlet and is running with it. He wants to VENTVENTVENT about his darlin' little state, I had this set for last week, but it had to get cut, so here we go: 

Damn, I still love the column. Too bad you only do this weekly. Anyways, I forgot to mention that we people in Hawaii do not live in caves. Most people usually ask us if we live in straw huts, not caves. We are not Afghanistan! With the bad economy and high prices here, we should be living in straw huts!!! 

No wonder why people are leaving Hawaii and moving to places like Seattle and Las Vegas. Where tickets to a WWE houseshow do not cost $100 for 2/3's of the arena. Its an election year, and we are f*cked up here. More f*cked up than the voting in Florida 2 years ago. 

In the end, I think Hawaii will see something it hasn't seen in ages.... we might be a state run by Republicans!!!!! Hopefully we won't be living in straw huts anymore, because I want to live in a house made of wood like them people on the mainland. 

Don Ho is still cool here. He is the reason why we actually have people from the mainland coming over to vacation in Hawaii. And we are not overrun by tarantulas here. We don't have any tarantulas here. We are overrun by the Japanese tourists asking people like me for directions to someplace that is halfway around the island. There is so much more f*cked up things to rant about here in Hawaii, but in the end, I think a saying by Kurt Angle says it all................"Its True! Its True!" 

Wow? A Republican? 


With Austin breaking everyone's fantasies about how nice, decent, and upstanding members of society wrestlers are, let's look at a real class act in the business... Scott Hall. 

Scherer talked to him about the NWATNA deal. 

The folks at 1bob are a bit touchy about what people take from their site, so I will just hit on a couple of things: 

Did he expect to be in the WWE for as long as he was? 

Yeah, I lasted longer than I thought I would. I had spoke to WWF for almost a year before I went to work there. I kind of declined offers to go because I didn't feel ready, I have other commitments, I have to be around the house. I was pretty happy with the way it went there, the McMahons treated me real well, and I wish them continued success 

My goal was to just try to make it through Wrestlemania. Anybody that knows me knows that I almost quit the first week. I remember calling Vince and talking to him because I was just ... I don't know. I'll stand by my statement about making it longer than I thought I would, I wanted to make it through Mania, and I made it through Backlash. 

Is he REALLY planning on suing them? 

Not true at all. We had a mutual agreement. (to part ways) 

Does he read the Great Hyatte??? 

...I'm not a big Internet guy, that has always baffled me. If you want to critique my wrestling performance, then that's fine. I never understood the fascination with people that want to follow you and monitor what you do every second. But I guess that's okay, I guess that's their right to do that. I guess they got nothing going on in their lives, so they want to check out somebody else's, I don't know. Most things that you have heard about me are true, and certainly all the bad ones. I won't argue that. 

What are his plans with the NWA? 

I would like to work in a wrestling school with guys. I've always liked being on the other side of the camera. I don't know about booking or whatever, but I would like to be involved. The good thing about the wrestling business is that you can't really hire people from the outside who know our business, you've kind of got to promote from within, so I don't know. I don't know really what is going on with this JSE Sports, but it sounds like a great opportunity, and I've committed to four shows so, I got to wait and see, but it could be great. Wrestling every Wednesday, I just got off the phone with Jeff, so if it goes the way he wants it to, it really could be great, but Wednesday night wrestling, I don't know, it sounds kind of cool to me. 

And that's all I'm gonna pull. Not a bad interview, really. Go check it out. 


While Scott Hall is getting all of the attention, one wonders what's up with his ex, Dana Hall. Well, count yer blessings that Mike Mooneyham keeps track of all this. 

This is abridged... go to where I just linked for the full story: 

Dana Hall Clears The Air: By Mike Mooneyham 

Few names in the wrestling business have generated more tabloid fodder in recent years than Scott Hall. The controversial performer, appropriately dubbed “The Bad Guy,” has wrecked automobiles, been in and out of drug rehab, and been married and divorced to the same woman twice. He also has been a charter member of two of wrestling’s most infamous groups, the Clique and the NWO, renegade factions that became as noted for flexing their political muscle and creating backstage tension as for their trend-setting impact on the business. 

For all the success Hall has achieved in the ring, though, there is an ominous asterisk at the bottom of his resume that tells the story of a tragic figure, a self-destructive soul whose real battle has been with his own personal demons. 

Rumors, likewise, have swirled around his ex-wife, Dana Hall, the mother of their two children, Cody, 11, and Cassidy, 7. Many fans have questioned the stability of Mrs. Hall, with some Internet sites even speculating about her mental condition, largely due to the fact that wrestling’s self-proclaimed bad boy presently has principal custody of their children. 

“Where this mentally ill stuff came from I don’t know. The only thing I was ‘crazy’ for was loving Scott Hall and believing he would change,” Dana Hall said last week. “He can be very believable, and I believed him. He worked his con on me, and I fell for it every time.” 

Exhausted by years of legal wrangling and the exorbitant costs associated with it, Mrs. Hall says she decided to “give in” to her ex-husband, a decision she now regrets. 

“I did it because he was threatening me under duress, telling me that he wasn’t going to give me child support and that he was going to keep me in court forever. The threats scared me, and I figured I had better use the opportunity to get some sort of career for myself while giving him a chance to grow up and be responsible. Who has given Scott more chances than he deserves than me? Everybody has given him more chances than he deserved. I made the same mistake that the wrestling business made in giving Scott another chance. But I was wrong. I made a terrible mistake.” 

While Hall, 43, who lives in nearby Chuluota, became the “primary residential parent” as part of the shared parental agreement in the divorce decree, Mrs. Hall has visitation rights every other weekend. Mrs. Hall, 39, says she has finally been able to come to terms with a number of mistakes that were made during their ill-fated marriages. 

“My worst mistake was loving Scott because I allowed my first children to go live with their father when I first met him so I could be with Scott,” says Mrs. Hall, who has 18-year-old twins from her first marriage. “I let Cody and Cassidy go with him (Scott) because I thought that was the only way to prove to him that I didn’t care about the money, control or power. I just wanted the fighting to stop. I just thought he would see that. I should have walked away in the beginning.” 

Since the latest divorce, Mrs. Hall has made an attempt to re-enter the workforce in order to provide for herself and her children. She recently completed 18 weeks of a 28-week course at the police academy at Seminole (Fla.) Community College, where she admits she was “the smallest, the weakest and the oldest” student. She says she put the academy on hold when she became “concerned for the kids,” although she eventually plans to finish the program and pursue a job in law enforcement. 

Mrs. Hall, who lives in a modest home she bought after the two separated for the second time during the second marriage, says she lives off of what is left from a retirement fund she received as a result of their first divorce. 

“I have no equitable distribution at all from the second marriage. I could have gotten hundreds of thousands of dollars and more, but I didn’t get a penny because I didn’t ask for it. I walked away. He said I just wanted him for his money and that I couldn’t do anything on my own. It wasn’t for money. How many times did I try to get him fired? If I had wanted his money, I wouldn’t have wanted him to get fired and I wouldn’t have walked away without a penny. I just wanted him to get better.” 

Dana Hall, who at one time says she put all her energy into a relentless one-woman crusade to extricate Scott Hall from what she called a bottomless pit, says her only concern now is seeing that her children are raised in as loving an atmosphere as possible. As for her ex-husband, she says the hold he had over her has been broken. 

“I tried it every which way,” she says. “I tried to apologize to people, to apologize to Scott. I spoke out about it and apologized about it. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of me. I used to take everything he said so personally to the extent that it would crush me. When he used to tell me that I couldn’t do anything, I would believe it. I guess that was my sickness. I was addicted to him.” 

During their heyday, ya think he made her call him "Chico" just before copulation? I wonder about that. 

Go to the site for the full story... Mooneyham's a good writer, I actually regret half the things I edited out. 


Who? A couple of weeks ago she wrote to me and said she had stories... some awesome stories about WCW back in the "day" (early 90's). I asked her to share, whenever she wanted. She thought about it, and decided yes. She would LOVE to be published... so anyone in the business who is reading this.... think it over. Her e-mail's on the bottom. 

She's going to send me some stories from time to time... as much or as few as her schedule will allow. It's really juicy stuff here. Read and see for yourself. 

First, a formal introduction (thanks to Craig Letawsky for the assist): 

Ms. Lightning grew up backstage at local Indy shows in Oklahoma, meeting several stars before they became famous. While attending college, she snuck into the dressing room of a WCW show to try and get a spot on the roster. Although never officially on the WCW payroll, she worked as a plant several times, and dated Brian Pillman for 2 years. Just as she was about to begin a career with WCW as Brian’s valet, she discovered she was pregnant and moved home to Oklahoma to raise her family. Although no longer in the big leagues, she maintained a career in the Indies until injuries sidelined her permanently. 

I actually went to my first wrestling show when I was 5 days old. My aunt and uncle owned an indy in Oklahoma, and I went to all the shows (well, at least all the ones that weren't in bars, because I was too young). Throughout my childhood, I met several up and coming stars, mostly when I was too young to remember. When I was 14, however, I met Sting and Rick Steiner for the first time. I'll never forget it. Apparently Rick won't either because he still won't go near me in an airport. You see we were flying from Tulsa to Dallas and I got the honor of sitting next to him on the plane. I was thrilled, ready to talk wrestling the whole flight, so I didn't care that I got the middle seat. Unfortunately, Rick wanted to sleep. That was cool because I understood life on the road and his need for sleep, so I left him alone. Until the lady with the window seat closed the window. You see I'm one of those people who get really sick in a moving vehicle if I can't see the movement. Well, the time came when I had to excuse myself to go to take care of the problem in the restroom, and Rick had the aisle seat, with his big frame totally blocking any way I had of getting out. Well, I was a shy 14 year old girl in a dress so I wasn't about to climb over him. I tried talking to him. I tried gently shaking his arm on the arm rest. Finally, I started poking him with my elbow progressively harder and harder. The big lug wouldn't wake up. I looked in the flap on the seat for a barf bag, and wouldn't you know it, not there. I had to wake this guy up and get to the bathroom, but nothing was working. Now Sting is sitting on the other side of the aisle starting to laugh as I start pushing him in the upper arm with both hands and practically screaming at him to let me up, the only thing I got in response was a snore. Yes, Rick Steiner snores on airplanes! I did finally figure out how to wake Rick up though. I puked all over him! I was in such a hurry to get to the bathroom that I didn't even have the chance to be embarrassed. For some reason, when I came back from the restroom, Rick had been moved, and the stewardess was cleaning his seat. I did get a standing ovation and huge smile from Sting, which brought a little blush to my cheeks. 

I tried to forget about it, but 4 years later when I started dating Brian Pillman and traveled with him, I was reminded by Rick's insistence to stay 20 feet away from me in the airport. Apparently I have an unforgettable personality! HEHE 

Speaking of the Steiners, I have to comment on Scott too. Everyone is so down on him for his "muscle enhancer" use saying that is what has made him an ass. Well, just so you know, he was an ass even back in his Billy Ray Cyrus look alike days. He always thought he was every girls dream and could just point and she would go where directed to "be with him". I remember one time I was sitting in the hotel lobby waiting on Brian to finish a conversation with a booker when Scott decided it was my turn to follow his orders. He walked by and just bopped me in the back of the head and said "Come On" and walked toward the elevator like he was going to his room. Sting came to my rescue once again, (he was always playing the knight in shining armor) and told me he'd handle Scott. He walked over and punched him and told him to get over himself. They got in the elevator and I don't know what else happened, but Scott never bothered me again. 

The only other guy to ever harass me was Sid. He tried hitting on me at my apartment one night. I had invited a bunch of the guys over to party, like we always did. Sid was the first to show. He was trying to be flirtatious and I thought it was funny because he knew I was dating Brian. Then his wife called my house and yelled at me for trying to steal her man. I quickly put that notion out of her mind and when she hung up, I threw the phone at Sid, hitting him in the head. Luckily everyone else started showing up and the party went on without Sid. Brian took care of making sure he left me alone. It was so cute because Brian didn't want me to know he flew into a jealous rage, so he fought Sid in a hotel bar a week or so later when I wasn't with them. I guess it became pretty obvious to the rest of the guys that I was not a rat, but a part of the family of wrestling, so I didn't have to put up with the harassment some of the girls do. 

Oh, and I forgot, there was one other time when I was sexually harassed by one of the guys. When I was like 12, Terry Taylor was my ultimate favorite wrestler, so when I met him at 18, I had to have a pic with him even if it made me look like a mark. Anyway, when we posed for the pic, I was wearing a jumpsuit with the back open all the way to the waist, which made a bra impossible. While we were having the pic taken, he reached in and around and grabbed my boob. Just tweaked it slightly and acted like nothing happened. I was in shock, but he never tried anything else. I guess my boobs were too small for him! LOL 

Well, my fingers are getting tired, so I'll close for now. I'll send another email soon and tell you about some of the parties. Man those were wild! 

Ms. Lightning 

Sting's a hero... Steiner snores... the Rooster likes 'em YOUNG (but big tittied)... Pillman is all about honor... and Sid's a skunk. The best part... I'm sure as she writes it down, MORE memories will turn up. 

She spilled more beans in a few paragraphs than Missy Hyatt did in her whole book, by GOD!. Still, this is just HER side.... and it could all be bull. It could all be fiction. No one knows for sure. Mr. Taylor and Mr. Eudy simply could have made a mistake. They simply misread a situation. No harm, no foul. I'm sure Ms Lightning understands that this is all very entertaining, but no one, not her and not me wants to be sued. 

We go from one girl to another girl.... but take a DRASTIC turn on subject matter... 


I like porn. 

And among the porn stars out there, my favorite is Chasey Lain. She is the absolute hottest piece of F*cking tail I've ever seen on video. 

For you mormons, here she is... avert your eyes, losers! 

Anyway, is a site that has a little section featuring all the big money stars and what news they make. The site used to be a huge porn/gossip deal, then Luke sold it away and it became... well, who cares. 

I went to the star section, looked up Chasey Lain... and found this... it's a scary, yet goddam SEXY story of what she's been doing.... It starts off with a quick introduction, then cranks into the last year.... great stuff: 

Watching a performer's eyes is a great way to see if they are into their scene. Chasey Lain never is. Porn journalist David Clark calls her "The Girl With The Empty Eyes." A beautiful but vacant performer, Lain stands 5'6", weighs 114 pounds and measures 36D-23-34. Born 12/7/71, the lady with the Cherokee figure spent her three years prior to porn dancing in Florida. 

Chasey entered sex videos after meeting with performers who came through Florida to feature dance. She debuted in The Original Wicked Woman. Kaylan Nicole, Chasey's ex-roommate, stars with her in Wicked as She Seems, Lain's second video. "I did a girl-girl with Kaylan, and a scene with Peter North and Tom Byron. Tommy likes the tongue up the butt. I also did Debi Diamond with a strap-on in Covergirl and a threeway with her and Mark Wallice. 

Lain, whose parents don't know of her porn work, did numerous bondage tapes for different companies while under a hardcore contract with Wicked. American bondage does not feature sex. She also appeared in several soft productions for such directors as Andrew Blake. 

After serving out two contracts with Wicked Pictures, Chasey signed with Vivid. She'd rather be a contract girl than work freelance for the promotional advantages that a video company can offer. "When you're a contract girl and have a dance schedule, they know when you're available to work and that makes planning easier. 

Chasey promotes a line of sex toys. The super-deluxe model offers a self-lubricating vagina that comes with Chasey Lain lube and Chasey Lain cleaner. You also get a free pair of Chasey Lain panties. It lays flat, so you can do it missionary style. 

"All you need to do is press this thing and it'll lube itself, so you don't have to break stride. Your basic model is just a $20 vagina. My boyfriend was walking around a convention, and when he saw the booth where my toys were displayed, he immediately recognized them." Chasey also offers her own line of rubbers. 

Porn fan Herbert Gambill remembers meeting Chasey at the North Carolina strip club Xanadu. "She was charging guys for polaroids of her in full all black clothing and overdone makeup. I think I met her, but I'm not sure! It could've been Chasey Lain as interpreted by a kabuki theater performer. Chasey's beautiful in a tawny all-American coed way... She has piercing eyes like the hot singer Fiona Apple. But she's a vacant performer. "Wake me up when this silly porn career is over..." 

Okay, there's the vitals... now here is the juice 

3/26/00: Chasey Lain, the beautiful but boring porn star, cancelled her three-day show at the Spearmint Rhino Club in the Valley. The cancellation was made at the last minute. Still, Chasey was supposed to have started dancing yesterday (Friday) at a 2PM matinee. If she did not show up, then the Spearmint Rhino Club should had said so on its web site, which currently at 11:15 PST is still touting Chasey's appearances. This action on the part of the Club is morally dubious at best. The inimitable (but old and flabby) Teri Weigel filled in for Chasey. The show was quite forgettable, and blonde Teri was obviously out of breath after only ten minutes. I did see the blonde chick Cricket(from Gangbang Audition #3) there, trying to snag lap dances. 

5/31/01: Chasey Lain took a year off to raise her newborn son Thomas. She is now under contract with Vivid. Chasey's working out now to tone up her body. She will soon come out with her own line of videos marketed through Vivid. 

6/7/01: I hear that Chasey Lain is addicted to crystal methamphetamine. She weighs about 70 pounds, her bones are poking out through her skin, her eyes are bugging out of her head, her face is sunken in and her skin is hanging off of her. She looks like she has been in a concentration camp. Her boyfriend husband Anthony makes crystal and sells it. They have a toddler at home. Chasey burned down her bedroom a few weeks ago, probably when her crack pipe caught fire. 

I hear Chasey is turning tricks. A friend met her and said it is like looking at a dying person. Two industry friends saw her recently and said she will be dead within the month. She is cracked out of her mind. She was offered help but she is beyond that, she claims that she does not have a problem. 

Chasey has begged certain video company owners to help her out financially. She has lost everything, her cars were even impounded. An acquaintance offered to put her into rehab and that is the last he heard from her. 

Vivid is using Chasey in a new series, they filmed her about four weeks ago so they are completely aware of her problem. They need to spend the money getting her into rehab rather than giving it to her to buy more drugs. Members of the crew on her set said it was so sad watching her, that is was like f*cking a dying person. 

6/22/01: Vivid girls Raylene and Taylor Hayes went to Chasey Lain's house about a week ago to stage an intervention. Lain's been smoking speed than snorting heroin to come down from the speed. She has a three year old son with this guy Anthony, her boyfriend. Raylene and Taylor asked Anthony, a drug dealer, what he wanted to do about the situation. He was nonchalant. He said she was beyond help. The kid wasn't there. Apparently, a week ago, Chasey took her kid out on the street and told him that he was worthless, that she hated him and that he was the Devil's child. And left him on the street. And in his daycare, he was so high from the fumes of her smoking the speed that they called Child Protective Services when he started coming down from his high. A director in the adult business now looks after the boy. The police came and arrested Chasey. She's in jail and they're trying to get her into a rehab clinic. Chasey was so high that she was telling Taylor that she would kill her. Lain took a hammer and started beating herself with the hammer. 

Chasey's been turning tricks for $100 a pop or in exchange for drugs. 

6/28/01: I've heard a report from Las Vegas from a man who partied with a strung out Chasey Lain. She's evidently out of jail and is still avoiding treatment for her drug addiction. 

7/27/01: Vivid contract performer Chasey Lain told “I know everyone has said that I like to have a good time and everything and it’s true that I do but the rumors that I am a drug addict are one-hundred percent unfounded and not true. 

“I didn’t really ever leave porn. I was pregnant for nine months and then I didn’t work for the whole year after he was born. My son is 2 years and 6 months now, so I started dancing again about a year ago and now I’m doing movies again. I liked taking a break. I got spoiled. I’ve been working about twelve years and doing adult for ten so I enjoyed the break but I’m really glad to be back.” 

UPDATE: From... well, he might not want anyone to know he's keeping tabs on things like this... so let's call him "DM" 

More recent information on Chasey Lain. A friend of mine works at a strip club called 'Lappers' in Newport News Virginia. Back in February she was telling me that the porn star known as Chasey Lain was working there under an alias. Apparently doing porn is something of a stigma with the girls (as is protestution). She did a recent tour of Pennslyvania as well apparently. Ms. Lain started Stripping again after the birth of her child. Like I said, i'm not certain the name she is using, but I have no reason to doubt this friend of mine. 

Chasey Lain... crack whore. 

I swear, when I first read that, I almost flew down to Florida to see if I could find her and pay her for some vag.... maybe some head too. Hey, who cares if she's on crack... a brother's GOT to live out his dreams. 

She's so goddam HOT too.... 


People ask why I don't rag on Bob Ryder anymore... 

Honestly, why should I? When you have the board doing it. Just go to their "US Indy" board and be ready... it's all Ryder-All the time. I couldn't compete with that even if I tried (or wanted, Bob's actually very nice to me whenever we talk... which is never). 

And HUGE props go to my old pal Bob Barnett, who has given Ryder the nickname "The Skipper" from Gilligan's Island. Dave Scherer is "Little Buddy". 

Anyway, Bob is involved with the NWA promotion... but how MUCH he's involved is up a matter of debate. 

See, Ryder has inferred (I don't have the exact quote, so I'm going by hearsay... which is 99% of this column, in case you didn't notice) that he handles the NWA Internet presence and their travel itinerary. And, judging from a series of posted e-mails between him and an agent of a pair of wrestlers, he also handles talent relations. (It's all at the TOA site) 

BUT... Wade Keller talked to Jerry Jarrett about Ryder in an Interview in the Torch Newsletter... and Jarrett told a DIFFERENT story: 

Keller:How important is the affiliation with and Bob Ryder to your formula of marketing? 

Jarrett:No more or less than yours. 

Keller:Is he formally handling your website at this point? 

Jarrett:Yeah, he helped us set it up. 

Keller:Bob Ryder said in a statement on his website that he was in a management position, but he didn't elaborate what that was. When we talk about your staff not being formalized, what at this point is Bob Ryder's... 

Jarrett:Bob is handling the traveling and helping us with the Internet 

Keller:Is "management position" a fair term for that, or is it still kind of taking shape? 

Jarrett:I don't know what you'd call handling travel and the internet. I mean, you know, if a guy wants to call himself King Faarooq Travel Agent it's alright with me. I'm not into turf and titles and all of that shit 

Jarrett further confirmed that the NWA is a "lean, mean" staff of three... himself, Jeff, and Ron Harris. 

I am fully confident that Keller had an erection when he printed this part. Poor Bob... the guy never can do ANYTHING without being called to the carpet on it. 

Speaking of the NWA.... they decided to stick to one arena, the Nashville Municipal Auditorium, for the month of July. All shows will be live. They also had to give free tickets away after trying to charge anywhere from $18 to $35 bucks a person at first... even though people could watch it at home for under $10. Finally, they lowered it to $5 a head before handing them out for free. They ain't filling the building, folks. 

Then there's the controversy surrounding the tag team who may or may not be dressed as walking Penises. It's frightening. 

Widro will be doing the whole recap... on a quarterly basis... right here at 411. Widro has no idea whether he's speaking to the "Worked Hyatte" or if I'm breaking kayfabe whenever we talk... now he just logs off the second I show up. 


Scoobie Doo, one of the most reviled movies ever to be reviewed, grossed... are you ready... 55 MILLION DOLLARS THIS WEEKEND. Never underestimate the children, kids... if you film it, they will come. 

Freddie Prinze Jr is officially a movie star. Makes ya pee your pants a bit, doesn't it? 


This story will make you laugh, make you shake your head... then you'll start thinking that I've gone too far... then you'll see that it's really kind of sweet, in a tragic sort of way. Hang in there tho' 

Last year, before 9/11, an Indy wrestler started bitching at me because he didn't like the way I called wrestlers "boys" (honest to God). It turned to an e-mail war. I shared it with the public and he was thoroughly humiliated. Eventually, he wrote to me pretending that someone ELSE stole his e-mail address and was doing all this. He begged me to lay off. 

His name was Jeff Peterson. He worked down south, for his Uncle's promotion. Maybe you heard of him... he's sort of famous around the business. 

Anyway, here's a picture, All 155 pounds of him 

To bring you up to speed, here are a couple of the e-mails he sent me last year... You'll notice a true theme running thoughout. 

1: I'm starting to think you like to call us boys, because you want to do some sexual, if that is so, your sick dude. Now, I'll invite you down here to my Uncles Center in Tampa Bay and make a man out of you. You don't use the term "boys" unless you are one of them. I can surely tell you are not one of the boys. Listen, if your ever in the Tampa Bay area, or in the North East when I'm there lets arrange a shot fight. I'll pop you like a pimple you son of a bitch. And I don't really care that your gay, I just think it is very funny. 

2: Your bigger and better than Yeah, I guess your right. Oh wait, why is it that they write for a huge site, books, mags, work for wrestling organizations and you write for 411. LOL LOL LOL. Damn, your gay. Listen man, you might write a better column if you take your dads d*ck out of your ass 

3: Listen up. Check in with reality. You write for a small website which loses money. So how the hell have you gotten such a large ego? When most people waste 5 minutes out of their day to read one of your columns, they get the image of a fat 25 year old gay virgin typing away at the computer. The fact is that if I got you in a street fight or in teh ring for that matter me and my guys would whop your ass. Some of the guys who have my back would literally make you crap your pants. Then lets bring up the point that your patheic dude. Maybe, if you clean up your act you would get noticed by a real wrestling publication. The fact is that you have been doing this for an X amount of years, and although your claims say your such a great writer, you are not even writting for a major publication. DAMN, you suck 

4: You should f**king stick 411 right up your ass, you bitch. As for me being a backyard wrestler? I would hope your aware that I've wrestled in the ECWA Super 8 tournament on two different occusions. Only the top 8 Indy wrestlers around are invited. Last time I checked, I'm the only wrestler on record to return from lung cancer, which also caused me to miss about a year out of the ring, yet I'm still able to work a few matches a month now. The fact is that this 150 pound body is tougher than your ass will ever be. 

Okay, then I found out that he still went to High School... at 18... and seeing how he just admitted that his Uncle invited him to the Indy's Super 8 tournament TWICE... without even realizing the irony of nepotism... it was clear this wasn't the brightest bulb. 

Well, I came back to the news... and he came back too. Here are some NEW letters: 

5: Man, your a f*cking fag, you thought I was gone didn't you? Guess what? I'm not. Your a flaming homosexual whose ass I would love to fight. You don't have your column anymore gay boy, why don't you fight back like a man this time 

I responded by informing him that I was back to doing the News... (I'm quite sure he knew this) 

6: Dude, the column on does not count. Your such a homosexual. Where the hell do you live? I want to fight your ass later in the summer, I'm looking for a fight. My roaddawg Madd Matt Storm wants you to get a partner for a little tag team action 

So, I gave him my address and telephone number. To date, no crank calls. 

7: Dude, your a f*cking janitor. Why you always emailing me hating all day? Man dawg, I'll paint your house black and then rape your mom if you keep this up. The fact of the matter is that when me and all my roaddawgs come over to your house your F**KED. If you print a damn thing I say on one of your f**king gay web sites, I'll sue your ass. LOL, remember that time I got your ass fired from 411? 

Note to Ashish... since I do NOT write for a website that celebrates homosexuality, I think we are quite safe. 

8: Dude, talking about people being dead, I was fu*king your dead mom last night. Damn, she was good. Man, it must suck to be a flaming homosexual, you fu*king jackass. I'll kick your ass the next time I'm in the area, then I'll rape your daddy. 

Great... now he's stealing my own material t'boot. 

Now things get sad... as I got THIS letter... 

Read an article on A1 Wrestling that said Jeff Peterson has terminal cancer. Whatever promotion he is in was doing a benefit for him. Just thought you would be interested. I wouldn't have known who he was if I hadn't remembered you raping him last Summer. Mike Thompson 

Further research told me that Jeff is presently sitting in a Cancer Hospital in Tampa. 

So, what does all this mean? 

The poor kid is clearly upset. Who wouldn't be? He's hurt, he's mad, he's pissed, he's traumatized, and he's scared. He's got the Big C and it isn't going away. 

So he's taking it out on me. He's venting his rage at me. He wants a big flame war so he can let it all out and let me have it. He is emoting. Letting it all out. 

He can go right ahead. I don't care. If it helps him, even in the slightest, then by all means, tear me a new one. It's okay. I won't fight back. I'll never post another letter either. He deserves some dignity. Poor guy. 

Listen, do me a favor and if you want to e-mail him, be cool. Wish him luck. Offer prayers. Whatever you want. Just don't flame him... be nice to him. He's got enough on his mind. Be nice 

Jeff, I'm very, very sorry. Good luck, my young friend. 


Not sure if you noticed... 

One of the hazards that befalls those that have pools is sometimes you slip and fall. That recently happened to me and unfortunately having a broken foot and a cast up to my knee has somewhat hampered my fun in the Florida sun that usually is the focal point of my life during the summer. My right foot is currently keeping me from living in the 

lifestyle to which I am accustomed, but worse handicaps have befallen better people, so I am told. 

My Left Foot was a critically acclaimed movie about a man who overcomes his handicap and makes an art out of what little control of his life he has left. The actor Daniel Day-Lewis won an Academy Award for his stellar performance of a man challenged by life's misfortune. 

Lennox Lewis has now claimed his right to the title Heavyweight Champion of the World, most recently beating the holy hell out of the "baddest man on the planet" Mike Tyson. 

Mike Tyson, of course, was the focal point of an angle during Wrestlemania XIV, when he was the "special enforcer" in a match between Shawn "HBK" Michaels and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, This match was basically a passing of the torch from HBK to Stone Cold, which beget an unprecedented run of prosperity for the WWF 

The prosperity for the WWF(E) has came and went, along with it's savior, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin has now been chastised by every writer and message board genius for being childish and selfish. Whether it is justified or not, everyone has taken their shot, with only one column standing out as the Voice of Reason 

A column written for by 



Flea.... who can make it from Florida to Delaware in 14 hours and on two bottles of Vodka. Well, he slept while his black driver did the hard work. 


Gotta be quick... space is an issue: 

Velocity by Brower, Confidential, by Ashish, and Heat by Jacob Ziegler... who told me he was NOT a Jew... was very nice about it too. 

Daniels does The Week in Wrestling. 

And Blake Norton gives odds on next week’s KOTR. Always good to see a new 

Norton’s Notes 

Now, as promised... go away if me getting trashed bores you. 


I have never read your column before today. You are a hack. I really mean to say that you are a homo. I mean to say that if I ever say you that I would kick you ass because you suck. Don't ever show up in STL, I will know and you will pay the price. P.S. You suck 


I love that second to last line... if I show up in St Louis, he'll KNOW. I'm there right now... right next door to you... look to your right, dude... I'm waving... HELLO!!! 

I have a question - what is your obsession with Scott Keith? Did he harm you in some other life? Or are you just looking for an easy target to take out your child-like aggressions? Obviously, the juvenile nature of your columns shows just how much you envy him. Some of us enjoy his work - he has a good sense of humor, and an open opinion. As for the rest of the supposed inside info from your "source" - can it be verified? Some of that stuff I read sounded pretty far out for anyone. If Scott Keith is so far out there, how did he land two book deals? And this supposed screenwriter guy - what credentials does he have? My advice to you - stick to what you know and leave off of the successful people in the Net community. It makes you look jealous and shallow. 

Dave Henson 

Umm... "open opinion"? If *I* was rejected 4 times by the WWE, MY opinion woudn't be OPEN about them either. 

You are SO mean-spirited...I mean you even bash your own mom, so I'm not suprised you bash a fellow writer, but I mean, what has Keith ever done to you???? I mean he just does his own thing and give his opinions, just like you, why be so scathing to another human being, especially when there is no reason? If there is a reason please let us know, what would justify such a bashing? If there is NO reason, then truly are a pathetic excuse for a human being 

Matt Fricke 

There IS a reason... but I'm still a pathetic excuse for a human being... I admit that. 

You rule. Period. 

Chris W 

WHOA... how'd that get in there? Whoops... sorry... my bad. 

Chris Williams? I knew you'd turn up eventually. 

"The Mop-Up ends up on Vince's desk, the Rants end up on Crash Holly's Dashboard in his rental car." 

LOL! There's a better chance of you getting laid than this EVER happening. You f**kin' and SK are BOTH destined to live lonely lives in squalid apartments, so who gives a F*CK which one of you gets the last word? You're a fucking JOKE. Die. 

Chris, you call yourself popular in your reports, but you call people "faggot" and rant about how wonderful you are so as to make up for your shortcomings in "reality". Think about that. These readers that find you so "popular" are so low that they need to live vicariously through your almost incomprehensible ramblings. That's a readership I'd rather have nothing to do with. You think anyone would give a damn if you showed up at a WWF house show with a t-shirt that said "LOOK AT ME! I'M HYATTE! WHAT? WHAT?" I'd be willing to bet you'd just get your ass kicked. Me...I'd buy you a pizza so as to contribute to your daily 5,000 calorie habit. 

SayEitan... longtime Scaia follower. Scotman told me that he used to be called "Scotsman's Bitch" at the old Uncensored Board. 

And I would NEVER go to a house show wearing a shirt that said "LOOK AT ME! I'M HYATTE! WHAT? WHAT?". That's what SIGNS are for. 

Just so you know, this is the type of guy who just keeps clicking his e-mail refresh button waiitng for my reply. 5 e-mails within one hour from him. 

You know, it is cool if you don't like Scott Keith. 

I suppose he may even be as nerdy, dishonest, and insane as you want him to be. 

Myself, I like the way he writes. I agree with some of what he says, I disagree with some, but he is always funny. 

Really, none of that matters. 

Because you are an asshole. 

Die slowly, Hyatte, screaming like a little girl. 

I'll never read your stuff again. 

Derrill "Kisc" Guilbert 

By far, my f