The Midnight News: 06.10.04
Posted by Hyatte on 06.10.2004
Secret Messages, The Undertaker, Vince, Bradshaw, Flea, Porn, and Message Boardom
I’m Chris and this is the Mop-Up Omega. Got some stuff here for ya’… no, wait, I’ll prove it…
AN INSIDE JOKE; A SECRET MESSAGE
Bare with me… this’ll only take a second…
You’re not naпve, you just project the image. Now grow up.
The preceeding message was aimed at one person… no… not you, someone else… who’s miles cuter, by the way.
I like these; they’re fun
IN-DEPTH SMACKDOWN AND TNA REPORT
Eh.
Oh, wait… the Undertaker gets on his knees and surrenders to Paul Heyman! Ahh, we ALL eventually surrender to the Jews anyway… what can ya do?
I think, after their Hell in a Cell match, HHH and HBK should cool off for a few months, then have one last… Loser Leave Raw match… the loser goes to Smackdown. HHH is probably taking credit for building Raw into the star-studded Internet fave powerhouse it is today… I think he’d enjoy the challenge of re-building Smackdown… and HBK could go back to being heel again. Actually, any of the two could make a major shake-up/impact on Smackdown and reinvigorate the product.
All I know about TNA’s 3:30 pm Friday Fox Sports show is that it has yet to make an IMPACT in my house! Ha HA HA HA!! HO HO HO!!! HEE HEE HEE
DEAR GOD, PEOPLE!!!!!! THE WIT IS ALIVE!!!! THIS STUFF IS JUST AS GOOD AS THE MOP-UP: ‘98-‘00
HO HO HO….MWAHAHAHAAAAA HAW! Impact…. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
TAKIN’ STOCK
Ya know… that god DAMN Undertaker.
Not only has he rehashed his “Dead Man” gimmick for some cheap pops and to make a few kids and nostalgic fans happy…. (no matter how much it infuriates the Smarts… the REAL fan base)
Not only is his work performance shittier than Steiner in a wheelchair or Nash in contract negotiations… (asshole won’t SELL unless it means something… asshole won’t put ANYONE over unless there’s legit reason behind it)
Not ONLY does he get at least 5 months year off (He LOVES his dramatic “resurrections”… the roof might get blown off the house during each one, but those are from idiotic casual fans… what do they know?)
But you know what the Torch is saying this rat prick does NOW?
This sumBITCH is now actually boosting moral in the Smackdown locker room by offering advice, guidance, and tips to any young worker who asks… he’s also staying
Late after a show or coming in early to help folks like Cena, Dawn Marie, and Luther Reigns.
To make matters worse, this prima donna is actually hanging out and chilling with the crew… just shooting the shit with the boys! He has the NERVE to act like he’s NOT above anyone else! That CREEP!!
Man… I wish I had written and “And Another Thing” about what a douchebag the Underttaker is… oh, wait a second… a few years ago I did!
AN ATTACK FROM THE MCMAC
Yeah, Vince McMahon is back, and he seems to be having fun too!
Now this is HUGE, this week, Mr. McMahon does a little shooting. And I really don’t need to say more. :
An Attack from the McMac
Summary Judgments
Greetings, my slow-witted ATM machines,
I don’t give interviews as often as opportunity would suggest. It’s not out of humbleness in as much as its for the principle that WWE talent – WWE Superstars – should have as much access to the glare of the media’s spotlight as possible. I recognize that I am a man of considerable note and interest, but were I to accept every interview request as I am offered, there simply would not be any spotlight left for anyone else. I say this not out of arrogance but with pragmatism.
I do, however, grant the occasional interview – as reports f my recent appearance on Canada’s “Off the Record” attest. Now, there isn’t an interviewer alive – not Bob Costas, not Bryuant Gumble, not Howard Stern, and not Michael Landsberg – who could possibly catch me off-guard and fluster me with a curve ball question. I am much too careful to fall for any trap that would have me reveal something I wouldn’t ordinarily admit to. Oh, I try to be as forthright as possible with my answers, but understand that the very nature of my position requires that full disclosure is a myth, a dream for hungry interviewers, and nothing more. Given the right circumstances, however, I could, would, and will expose my thoughts freely and without pause.
This forum offers me the right circumstances.
I am well aware that precious few of you ruly believe that Vincent Kennedy McMahon contributes to this internet column. That allows me to be more open with my thoughts. You may call it a case of “Hiding in plain sight”; you may call it a case of “Too good to be true, thus it must be false”. I simply call it taking advantage of this warm blanket of relative anonymity. You think the person writing this piece is an imposter. I am not inclined to dissuade you. In fact, ad this generated major attention, I would not have continued contributing to Mr. Hyatte’s column. You may believe what you wish – second guessing me has become so ritualistic among you internet marks that it’s practically scripture by now.
So, I am able to use these ideal circumstances to tell you how I really feel about certain WWE Superstars, past, present, and future. Sitting across from my desk is my deputy assistant, Judy Fallowell, who shall ring off fifteen names of which I will openly blurt out the first response that comes to mind – unfettered and unobstructed. I do not know who she will name and she does not know why I am even bothering with this. My reasons are my own.
One caveat: Jusy has been instructed not to include family members, including Triple H nor anyone with the last name “Hart”.
Let’s begin:
1) Bradshaw: Forgivable misdeeds. An untapped well of potential.
2) Ultimate Warrior: An undeniable imbecile. The irony that shoulders as massive as his could not carry weight of being a professional champion, a professional hero for even a few months just astounds me.
3) Bruno Sammartino: A slave to the most threatening sin of the deadly seven: pride.
4) Hulk Hogan: He owes me a debt of massive gratitude
5) Ric Flair: If only I gotten him into my company years ago. An excellent dinner companion.
6) The Undertaker: The true Total Package. I wish I had ten more just like him.
7) William Regal: A throwback. He would have been Bob Backlund’s greatest adversary in the 70’s. My father would have built the entire WWWF around him.
8) Eric Bischoff: Never take your eyes off him.
9) Verne Gagne: A doddering old fool. Squandered an entire territory with a mammoth Mid-Western following because he wouldn’t listen to anything other than his own obsolescense.
10) Mick Foley: Both Mick and Steve Austin owe everything they are to Jim Ross. If God is just, then Good Ol’ JR is assured a spot in Heaven for bringing Mick and Stone Cold to my attention.
11) Kevin Nash: Too damned self-assured. Too damned spoiled. Too damned banged up for his own good.
12) Ed Leslie (aka: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake): Easily, the stupidest man to ever run my ropes.
13) Chris Benoit: Exceeding expectations
14) Randy Orton: He will be the main event and soon. His star is merely a few years from shining as brightly as Hogan’s, The Rock’s, and Hunter’s.
15) Eugene: How else can I market a pasty, balding, short, chubby mid-card player? If you can tell me, then you can have my job.
That was fun. Thanks for not believing.
It’s the final battle between The Game and the Heartbreak Kid in the match ordered more by destiny than by choice. It’s Hell in the Cell. Can Chris Benoit regain the tag team titles with his partner, Edge, and then overcome the challenge of the unstoppable monster that is Kane? It’s a preview of the future headliners as Sheldon Benjamin challenged Randy Orton for the Inter-Continental heavyweight championship. Will Chris Jericho prove too much of a problem for Tyson Tomko to solve? Four beautiful divas – Lita, Trish, Gail, and Victoria – battle it out for the WWE Women’s championship. And will Eugene’s amazing success be curtailed by none other than Jonathon “The Coach” Coachman? Order Bad Blood on Satellite or Pay Per View coming from Columbus, Ohio this Sunday and find out!
And that’s my Attack
Truly… TRULY amazing. I am at a loss for words… Jesus.
WWEVinMac is where you write to him. He tells me he reads everything. Who am I to doubt?
Wow… this is SO freaky.
A FUN FACT THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK SMARTER
*You're more likely to be attacked by a cow than by a shark*
And just like that, you’re already a little smarter than you were 3 seconds ago!
Hyatte LIVES to inform.
WELL, HE TOO USED TO BRAND PEOPLE
You know what Bradshaw’s problem is, right?
Okay, here’s a guy from Texas… thus he’s naturally more arrogant than most.
He’s also a guy who can play the stocks well and has made some money at it… thus he’s a blowhard.
He’s also the only professional wrestler in HISTORY who was a regular guest on a CNBC Business program… thus it’s natural for him to feel extra-intelligent.
He’s quick-witted and articulate… thus he’s a show-off
He’s a former football player (has been most of his life), current professional wrestler… from Texas… thus he’s a natural bully.
He’s an arrogant, quick witted, lucid bully from Texas with some money… thus, he almost has no choice but to be HIGHLY obnoxious.
He’s is the go-to guy in the locker room when someone needs to learn a lesson (Remember the night Perry Saturn got too intense with a rookie? Remember “Thank you”?) or when a rookie needs hazing…. Thus he demands respect.
He has the right friends in management, and Vince loves him… thus he feels above the law.
He’s also in the biggest push of his life… when you factor in all the above traits, you can’t help but assume he feels as if he DESERVES this push.
It’s a push that is clearly FAILING, by the way.
So, what happens when an naturally arrogant, obnoxious bully with the right friends who thinks he’s highly intelligent and clever and who is getting the main event push he feels he EARNED finds himself under tremendous, confusing stress when the push to the moon doesn’t get him as over as he assumed it would?
Why, he gets nervous and goes for the desperation heat.
I’m sure Bradshaw just thought he was being “cute” by referencing Hitler and goosestepping his way through a match in Germany… but like all morons who think they know everything, he just didn’t think too hard into what he was doing.
And it’s getting to him… reports say he’s running around the locker room yelling, But, I’m a BAD GUY!! I’M SUPPOSED TO DO SHIT LIKE THIS!!
Don’t blame Bradshaw for being an asshole… he’s only following his DNA code.
BUT… where do GERMANS get off acting so OUTRAGED? Within the last 90 years, you’ve waged TWO wars against the entire world, killed as many Jews as you could find, and made David Hasselhoff unbearable. And your chocolate SUCKS.
Hey Germany… you made your bed… it’s gonna take more than just a few decades before you can act so high and mighty! You should’ve thought of it BEFORE you started listening to Adolf and his kooky ideas! PLENTY OF HEBES AIN’T BUYING YOUR “WHOOPS, SORRY ‘BOUT THAT” LINE, MEIN FREUNDS!!!
My favorite part in all this is how everyone’s saying that Bradshaw isn’t REALLY a racist… oh PLEASE… of COURSE he is. All rich Texas bullies are.
Most of White America is NOT, I don’t think… we DO like to tell racist jokes tho’. We just make sure there are no black people within hearing distance before we start with the N-word jokes. It used to be gay jokes, but these days you can’t jerk off outdoors without splattering some closeted homosexual… like the Commies 60 years ago years ago, the gays are EVRYWHERE… and they hide in PLAIN SITE…. So we tell black jokes… it’s cuz of your massive cocks… we’re threatened. Sorry… don’t stab us.
Bradshaw never dropped the word “ni**er?” Ni**a PLEASE!
The important thing is… this isn’t as dumb as Hunter screwing a corpse… it’ll blow over.
More importantly, What the hell is Grut doing here? I thought he died?
All this talk of whitey talking sheeit about yo race behind yo back reminds me….
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO FLEA
His name is Flea and at any given moment, something fascinating will flit out of his mouth.
And when I ask for his opinions on something, he sighs, says “Oh great…” as if this is some form of torture, and then lets loose… sometimes its long winded, othert times it’s quick and pointed… but it’s ALWAYS fascinating…
WHERE DOES FLEA STAND ON…
…women with fat asses?
That’s why God invented the dark!
Flea…: my friend… who thinks I make him out to look like a rube… heh.
FOR THE HIDDEN PERV IN ALL OF US
Okay you horny bastards… you asked for porn… fine, here you go.
Adorable Bunnies.com for some free porn. I’ll wait.
Now, if you’re smart, you’ll finish reading this segment… if you’re not smart, then you just clicked… possibly while at work/school/with your parents home… and possibly with your boss/professor…oh, wait, schools out… forget the school part/parents looking oer your shoulder without you noticing. If you clicked, you’re already grossed out. And mad…
Ain’t my faultyou just couldn’t wait for some porn.
Now, if you are still reading and haven’t clicked, please understand that this link brings you to THE sickest thing I have ever seen… well, not THE sickest (tubgirl… the guy with the basketball-sized anus… Scott Keith)
What’s posted is a series of pictures… they are as followed:
Man taking a shit… graphically.
Man sucking up shit with a giant wide-hole syringe.
Man sticking syringe in his penis
Penis swollen.
Man “rubbing one out” and the feces erupts
Then a really really fat chick. Doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the sequence… but she’s gross too.
If you clicked, then you just returned THOROUGHLY disgusted… (or maybe aroused?)… and shiteating MAD… well TOUGH TITTY SAID THE KITTY!!! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR JUMPING THE GUN AND CLICKING BEFORE YOU GAVE ME THE CHANE TO EXPLAIN IT!! NA NA NANA NAAA… YOoouuuUUUU SUUuuuuuUUUUUUCK!!!!!
There… you got’cher PORN… you babies!
Oh… now I feel guilty. Here; here’sthe Olson Twins eating creamsicles… blowjob style. Happy now?
Suckers!
A LIVE MIC = DANGER
As always, keep these coming… Hyatte can’t do these alone… nor can Hyatte and Justin Parr, who is probably responsible for most of these.
This week, just for the hell of it, I thought it might be fun to take a walk down memory lane and relive… for shits and giggles of course… a few choice cuts from everyone’s FAVORITE Monday night show… get ready for NOTHING BUT NITRO!!!
And Thunder
And the errant PPV
Still… it’s WCW back when WCW was… something
01): VINCE MCMAHON IS AFRAID OF ASSAULT ON DEVIL’S ISLAND!!- Eric Bischoff.
02): And Hulk Hogan, we comin' after you next, NIGGA!!- Stevie Ray, forcing both Booker T and Sherri summon the will of God not to crack up
03): You know, Bill Goldberg, at this point, I don't think it's a question of Who's Next, I think it's Who's Left!- Gene Okerlund
No, no, Gene, see, that's where you're wrong. It's not Who's Left, it's WHO'S NEXT?!?!- Goldberg's response
04): I know its Spring Break guys, but the fat chicks need loving too!- Nash: Nitro Spring Break-Out ’90-something
05): You know Douglas, until you fight Bruiser Body, god rest his soul, in front of thousands in Japan…- Flair
I can’t, he's dead- Douglas
Until you have fought Kerry Von Erich, god rest his soul, in front of thousands in Dallas, Texas.- Flair
He's dead too!- Douglas
Oh you think you're really something. Well let me tell ya, I have pissed away more money on bar tabs then you will make in a lifetime pal.- Flair
Now that’s a shoot!- Schiavone: Thunder ‘00
06): We've had to do a lot of dumb things over the years Regal, like put your ass over- Tony Schiavone from the Last Nitro
07): He just laid his tired ol’ ass out!- Dusty Rhodes: Uncensored ‘97.
08): You Americans seem to have trouble with the Japanese don’t you? Your flag should have the bloody Red Cross on it. It’s once again up to me to bring the TV belt back to WCW, I’m the only one keeping things together. Now Ultimate Dragon, why don’t you go ahead and put on your little pink mask and your little pink tights and I will hack you in bloody half, Sunshine.- Regal: Nitro ‘97
09): Looks like we got us a little party! Hey, and for once, you guys look like you showed up ready for work! Hey, what's up Sid, no softball game? How about you, Lexster? No golf game today? No lunch with Michael Jordan? Hey, DDP, what about those seven fans of yours down at the trailer park wanting to have an autography on your new book? What about that? And Stinger! What, no Hollywood premiere tonight? I'm really glad you all came to work. What's the matter Page, nothing to say?
Bischoff, I don't know what the hell you're smoking, but you better step off!
Screw you, Page! You wanna know something, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be here tonight. You'd be shlepping drinks at some redneck bar in the middle of Florida telling the world that you're friends with Bon Jovi. You know, where were you for the past six months while I've been sittin' home? Unemployed? Huh? How 'bout you, Sting - who's the guy that rebuilt your career? I'll tell you who it is - the same guy that made Lex Luger a multimillionaire when the WWF didn't want to have anything else to do with him!- Bischoff: Nitro 2000
10): He just knocked him out with ether!
Tony, how do you know it's ether?
’Cause it says "ether" on the bottle.
Oh.- Schiavone and Stevie Ray: Thunder ‘00
11): Ultimo Dragon with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip!
What? What was that move?
A Dragon Screw Leg Whip!
I gotta remember that for later. Hey baby, this is called the Dragon Screw Leg Whip!- Mike Tenay and Dusty Rhodes: Starrcade ‘96
12): Jeff Jarrett, I am the Master and the Ruler of the world, and you can't be the master of the Master.- Sid Vicious
13): The only problem Luger is I knocked you on queer street and you were liking it!- Hall: Thunder ‘98
14): : I have half the brain either of you have!- Sid Vicious to Hall and Nash: Nitro ’98. The stunned look from Nash is priceless
15): You know Flair and Piper were out here talking about how they helped build this sport and paved the highway for the rest of us. Well, you know what? That road you paved is filled with pot holes ‘cause you and the other old guys did was take all the money you could and left us nothing! A few years ago myself and Scott Hall were in WCW. I was a little green but Scott Hall was ready to be a star. And what did WCW do after he proved himself for year? They cut his pay in half. So he and I went up to New York. And was it party all night, get up and party a little longer. No, we had to work really hard to dig this business out of the funk you guys left it in. So you drive you limos, me and my crew will cram five in a car and drive a rental. You ride first class, we'll fly coach. You drink champagne, we'll drink McForties while we pave the pot holes you guys left behind. You want respect, well where I come from the other side of Detroit you don’t get respect, you earn it and you're going to have to beat some respect out of me boys. There’s some young, hungry lions who want more than just a nibble on the carcass! We want it all. NWO For Life!- Nash: Nitro ’97. Maybe his finest promo.
Oh, that was the best… then Flair, Piper, and Kevin Green ran out and Fair started screaming, “COME ON PLOW THE ROAD, COME ON!!!”
In case you didn’t know, they were selling a big six man PPV tag match for some PPV… ironically, it was the first clean loss the Outsiders took for WCW (with Syxx)
In fact, the only thing BAD about the promo, and the subsequent Flair reaction was… well, what the FUCK was Kevin Green doing out there? Looking like a shmuck and clearly out of place… that’s what.
We just about done YET? Naaah, we got us one last thing…
ACROSS THE BOARDS
What this is is I skittle around to a few message boards and pick up on what the INTERNET is saying about… oh, you know what this is.
You also know that I refuse to say where I went… or who said what I’m about to quote.
Except, of course, for the Torch VIP forums… oh, I went there Wade, I go there a lot… FOR FREE!!!! I HAVEN’T GIVEN YOU A PENNY!!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA DOESN’T THAT JUST SUCK????
And I also snagged a few good ones from 411’s top secret writer ONLY forum… mostly to prove to Widro that I actually do drop in from time to time.
Anyway…
“WIDROFAKIN WANT SHORT FORM. WIDRO HAS SMALL COCK. SMACK YOUR TV FUCK COCK TV!”
“Mambo King is known for diddling his wanker in young mens asscracks”
“Why can't meltzer release his newsletter in a tidy neat easy to read layout style like that of the pwt? Is it cost? Is it cause he's lazy?”
“Wow. You've met Mark Madden, Jonny Fairplay, Dave Scherer AND Harry Wayne Casey. You have had one hell of a charmed life.”
“Sable has a new gimmick and she can be seen as the manager of Rene Dupre. The new gimmick is called Fifi, she's a french poodle who uses too much makeup.”
”T&A;? I'd rather have wrestling.”
“Richard belzer, separate from him suing Hogan, is indeed an A-hole”
“They could combine the old Dudley Boys Gimmick and the old Machines gimmick. Undertaker could become Deadman Dudley, Paul Bearer could become Chubby Dudley. Hhmmm, we might be on to something.”
“when hogan's daughter complained that her father was taking the attention off her, the immoral one said: ‘you just have to wait your turn, brother.’”
“You see, Cena is already a big star. Look at the crowd reaction he's getting. WWE isn't using Booker to help move along Cena's career. They're using Cena to help Booker get over as a heel.”
“Also - well, no - Hyatte invented inventing. *COUGHFLEASPUSHEDTHISFORYEARSCOUGH* - way to finally get around to putting it in print, Chum................... P!”
“SABLE was AWAY HAVING SURGERY TO HEAL HER EXPLODING TITS!!!”
“He definitely was not talking about me....even if he states otherwise later”
“Actually the most beautiful girl on the indies, talking looks-wise, is Dani the photographer. Her rolls of fat and lard are very sexy, and taste great to lick. Her ass smells like 9 month old sewage. I am her fan.”
“Nazi salute or not, the guy is a fucking bum, wish I was big enough to kick his ass.”
“Last time i heard about Flash Funk, he was smokin crack in All Japan with the Funkettes”
“Lord have mercy if they don't need to send Johnny Nitro back to OVW to hone his skills some. He couldn't keep up with Eugene and Eugene is suppose to be "the slower" of the two.”
“I agree. Jesus wasn't a closet homosexual.”
“IM NOT GAY OR BI, ITS JUST THAT WHEN I DRINK TOO MUCH I WILL DO ANYTHING ON A DARE. DONT BELIEVE ME? JUST DARE ME TO RESPOND TO THIS, BURP, HICCUP, BURP!”
“I guess if someone were to burn an American flag in the center of the ring, or say that 9/11 was the greatest thing ever, that would be quite all right, wouldn't it? No, of course not. And neither is doing a horribly offensive gesture in another country. So fuck you and shut the fuck up.”
“Let me be clear on this. I don't want an internet radio show. I could give a fuck about that unless there is money involved. I want the XM radio shit to happen. I want you to make it happen. You have the key -- MY key and you will give it to me.”
“I think the guy IMed me or something. I think his AIM name was something like ‘IHugMyNuts’ Crazy weird fat translucent man.”
“I've been a member before but I got kicked out by some double crossing little delinquient!!!!!”
“Well, I guess one way or another, this thread thoroughly answers the eternal question of who gives a fuck.”
“Al Swearengen from Deadwood. Perhaps the greatest character to ever grace a television this side of Fredrick ‘Rerun’ Stubbs”
“Eugene is Jesus!! HBK will have to job to him, eventually”
“And one of the reasons I didnt watch ecw. Of course, the camera work here during the match is much better than ECW and Joey Blue Balls aint shrieking like a twit.”
“Bret Hart rules because he once worked a Phil Collins lyric into one of his promos. ’We're like two hearts...beating as one.’”
“Keller... fucking moron.”
“I also like the story that Mick Foley told, about the guy who got hit in the head with a popcorn box, thrown in by a fan and thought it was another wrestler hitting him, so he sold it over the top rope to eliminate himself from the battle royal he was in.”
“Speaking of which my VCR is broke I NEED YOU TO TAPE JUDGING AMY FOR ME. Don't do that EP stuff either, my parents don't play that shit, I need SP.”
“JJ is the freaking HHH of TNA! Eight champs in two years, JJ has held the belt three of those eight time. The title has changed hands three times in 35 days… *sigh*”
“I don't remember what year, but I think it was around the time that HHH and Stephanie were playing the on-screen couple (i.e. she had pretended the wedding was fake, but then screwed VJM). Some fan jumped the rail while HHH was going up the ramp, but HHH saw him and threw one punch. The guy was ‘lights out’ on impact and just...collapsed like a sack of potatoes, out cold.”
“Is it just me or is Rhyno getting bigger and bigger pops each week?”
“Am I the only one who hates some of the insider terms? I absolutely hate the terms ‘face’ and ‘heel’. Hell good buy or bad guy sounds cooler to me. Don't even get me started on babyface! I imagine that in the kayfabe days outsiders, which is all of us, weren't supposed to know what they meant so it was okay. But now I just hate it. Anybody else hate them?”
“The solution for Cena is for someone to tell him that jokes about being gay, jerking off, and farting aren't all that funny to people over the age of 13. His "edgy" material revolved around that kind of thing long before WWE had to worry about the FCC, and now it's all Cena has left to fall back on. He actually named a move the ‘five knuckle shuffle’, which says everything there is to say”
“Goldberg wasn't pushed perfectly, but it wouldn't have mattered. The guy was a joke and never stood a chance of really drawing in WWE.”
“Ok now if it was legit and not planned, my favorite was when the fat dude jumped the rail and tried to get into the ring after Hogan turned heel for the first time at Bash at the Beach and legdropped Macho, turning his back on WCW and giving birth to the NWO. The fat guy tried to slide under the ropes but was too fat and got wedged between the bottom rope and the canvas, and Hall and Nash proceeded to stomp the living crap out of the guy.”
“only you and the guy who started this thread are old enough to remember any of those awful, awful songs.”
“If Gowan had claimed Hogan cured his cancer, Hogan would have believed it.”
“if you think 40,000 - pre tax, will last the rest of your life, you either live on water or are even older than me”
“John Cena is this generation's Honky Tonk Man. Remember how badly HTM's debut was handled? It's like somebody handed the Smackdown booking team a picture of Cena and said: ‘Destroy this man's career’ Guess what...they did!”
“In a thousand lifetimes, Benoit will never be as over as Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Benoit is not a long term champ, nor does he have the package of total sports entertainment skills needed to keep him at the top of the WWE. Plus, he's a Vanilla Midget.”
“Don't you miss the old days, when Verne Gagne was prevented from putting the AWA title on Greg because THE IDEA FUCKING SUCKED?!”
“michaels is the one guy who can make me root for hhh”
“Yes it's illegal. Yes the hollocost sucked. It's wrestling entertainment though.”
“It's my fault. I suck at the internet.”
Yes… yes… most people suck at the Internet
And yes, the hollocost DID suck…
How much does a “hollo” cost anyway?
Ah well, another week in. I guess I’ll drop by Sunday for more of… whatever it is I do here. Bad Blood stuff… umm…. Other stuff… maybe some witty stuff…. I’ll make fun of people… maybe… I don’t know, leave me alone.
“TNA has yet to make an impact in my house”… BWAHAHAHHAAA OH GOD…. HYATTE 1 – PEOPLE WHO SAY HE LOST IT 0!!! HO HO HOOOO…
HEE HEE HEE
HA
HAWR
This is Hyatte