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Year In Review

The Written Word




1998 and Beyond ... by Chris Hyatte


As the last gifts get torn opened, the last cup of Egg Nog gets nogged, and the last drunken relative gets escorted out the door to his car (and spotted vomiting his turkey dinner on his way to the car); we can finally turn our attention to the New Year and what it holds for the sport of wrestling. To no one's surprise, the internet will surely hold an abundance of guesswork from would-be soothsayers, many of whom will surely include the hopeful (more likely hopeless) prediction that the WWF will rebound from the rather large hole that Mr. Bischoff cheerfully dug. There is no real fact in these predictions...only rank desperation, so I implore you not to take these not-so-subtly hidden prayers as gospel. Indeed, should the WWF ever rebound from their current problems (I can guarantee that they will, if only for the fact that this sport is very cyclical in nature), it will take more than just twelve months...check back with me in three years.

Not that any of this matters. To me, 1998 represents one thing and one thing only...we are now only two years away from the Millennium. Personally, I don't think God, Allah, Budda, or whichever deity that you particularly worship intended us to survive past the calendar year 2000. Crime is up, our children are running rampant, an idiot like Jenny McCarthy gets her own TV show, the price of Spam skyrocketed, and the Spicegirls are a success; if those are not Biblical signs of Judgement Day, I don't know what is. Alas, the business at hand is wrestling, so let's pretend that everything's okay in the universe and dance the dance that is expected. In other words, let's make some New Year's guesses as to what the future holds....just remember, they are only guesses...for it is against my beliefs to make any predictions.


- Owen will become the most popular figure alive. Vince will struggle with the idea that he will have a WWF champion that is actually named Owen.

- Steve Austin will say "Damn" and "Hell" a lot. He will constantly refer to himself and to whomever he is talking to/about as a "SOB". He will also make frequent use of his middle fingers.

- Either Cactus Jack, Mankind, or Dude Love will take some ugly bumps.

- The stress of losing the war will finally cause some major hair loss for Vince McMahon (and about bloody time).

- Goldust will.........oh I don't have a friggin' clue what he'll be doing.

- The Godwinns will continue to draw no heat whatsoever.

WCW IN 1998

- Eric Bischoff will drown in his own pool of self importance. (Hey, one can dream can't one?)

- Hogan will begin his annual 6 month vacation come February...and the whole internet will bitch about it.

- Bret Hart will continue to speak in that monotone of his.

- Sting will get his ass back into the rafters, basically because no one in management wants to lose the heat he has. Sting won't complain though, he's quite happy making millions for doing nothing.

- Savage will either re-sign or resign. His contract ends in January.

- Schiavone will consistently remind us each week that this is the BEST NITRO EVER!!!!!!!! (or that this is the BEST THURSDAY THUNDER EVER!!!!!!!!!!).

- The Luchadors will continue to put on unbelievable matches, and no one will care.

- The Villano power base will strengthen, (long live the Revolucion).


- SCOOPS will break down about 30 more times.

- Someone will write to me about how bad my writing is about once a week.

- about 1000 new websites will open, and they will all seem alike.

- I will continue to be a sad, sad person.

Thus, we leave the old and enter the new. Resolutions will be made...and will be broken about an hour later. The fat will stay fat and the skinny will stay skinny. Life will go on as scheduled, (at least until the year 2000, as previously stated). I leave you with this quick little insight. Expert scientist and all around ninny/smart guy Steven Hawkins (or Hawkings?) cleared it all up when he said that if time travel was possible, then folks from the future would have already visited us with warnings about where we went wrong. Since they haven't come, you can present a decent case that we may have no future at all. Well, either that or time travel is just plain impossible now and forever. Who know...and more importantly....who cares.

This is Hyatte.

Chris Hyatte