The Midnight News

Four Weeks In A Row- A New Record! 

another homerun hi-rate. I feel like I owe you something after these 5 years of service...want to bang my girlfriend?

Name withheld

Sure! What's his name?

Well, I wondered when you and Widro were going to part ways over at InsidePulse. To my mind, Widro was getting too worried about site content and “toning down all the controversy stuff.” Afraid of having to get lawyered-up at the first sign of reader discontent with the last of the truly independent thinkers.

Meaning you.

Well, no matter. You’ve found another home on the ‘Net at DOI, and it looks to be a good fit, at least for the short term.

Good debut column by the way. But who’s surprised at that?


Ed “Unca Ed” Ostermeyer

Well thank you, Unca! No, Widro was never worried about toning stuff down. His main concern is logging on every day and not have 5 billion writers whine to him about various nonsense.

Mark Madden is live on the air Monday through Friday on ESPN Radio Pittsburgh. Number is 412-333-3776. I got right through, trying to talk ANYTHING but hockey, but the fat fuck never shut up about Hockey, so I hung up while on hold. But it should be easy enough to get on air with him. My plan was to ask about the Tight End Chris Hyatte...or something like that... this could be fun. Call in sometime...

Emil Orlanda

Mark Madden isn't the most listened-to sports radio host in Pittsburgh anymore. Since early '05, it's been a guy named Ellis Cannon, on an FM talk station here in Pittsburgh that didn't even exist until last year. He (Ellis) makes a point of this daily.

This is probably irrelevant in light of what I expect to see next week, but what the hell...


So even the hometown found a better deal than Madden? Well, at least he's still Ric Flair's towel boy. That counts for something!

Hello Ticket sellers! I'm Chris and this is the Midnight News. This is NOT a special Halloween edition of this column. I will NOT do a hilarious sketch where I imagine what wrestlers will dress up as for Halloween. Get that out of your head.

I WILL, however, remind you that today IS the day to go out to your local grocery store and buy nothing but apples and razor blades... just to see the look on the face of the check-out girl.

Anyway... off we go...


On Tuesday, Raw is running their second annual "Taboo Tuesday" show where YOU, John Q Mouthbreather, actually play booker for a night and tell the WRESTLERS what to do!

Of course, the "choices" are so heavily stacked so that everyone pretty much knows what's going to happen. Might be a fun show... not really worth ordering, to be frank...

Or maybe it IS worth ordering? Not for the general event, but for the stuff that you should look for... this show has "trainwreck" written all over it... but not because of "creative", it's because of the wrestlers!

Let me explain... The Raw crew worked last Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. They had a day off but didn't go home, they all hopped a plane and flew to Australia... which actually cost them a day as Australia is one day ahead of North America...

In Australia, the worked Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday... criss crossing the Continent...

Sunday was the trip back... straight to California for...

Raw on Monday... then down to San Diego for... the PPV on the one day a week the Raw brand never, EVER works...

These people will have worked 9 of the last 11 days and spent the other 2 on a plane....

And on the last day they have a PPV...

Not saying anything... but Taboo Tuesday might be worth ordering strictly to see which wrestler talks really really fast and sniffs a lot during their promos. Might be fun to count the blown spots too. These guys will be exhausted, cranky, worn, and probably high... just to make it through one last night.

On the plus side, the Divas will be looking emanciated...

So I'm getting the PPV... because we might get lucky and SOMEONE might just collapse right in the middle of the ring! Expect heavy injuries too... and blown spots... maybe a nasty OD too.

So yeah, Halloween might be tonight, but on PPV this Tuesday, we'll get to see some Zombies!

Poor kids... and in a couple of weeks they have a brutal tour through Europe to deal with too... and didn't I hear rumors about a Raw brand trip to Iraq for Christmas?


Ya know... I think I've made my stance pretty clear... I'm a big time rasslin' guy... I like my stories, I like winding angles with twists and turns and all that.

I also like wrestling I can watch on TV... which is why I've never seen a ROH show and I don't plan on seeing one. I don't go to minor league ballgames to see "future" major leaguers and I do NOT go to minor league wrestling shows to see future Smackdown Superstars.

Don't take offense, I don't own a single wrestling shirt... the only DVDs I have is the Flair DVD and the Mick Foley one... oh and the ECW one too, but that's it. I don't have Trish pictures on my wall, I don't have Melina pictures on my hard drive and I DO NOT beat off to free nude shots of April Hun... well, okay, I blow loads to her... and to Trish... but more to Trish than to her...

ANYWHOO... I am not a mark... least I don't think I am... I don't think any wrestler who met me would think I was. They won't meet me, though, because I don't go to shows... not even Raw or Smackdown.

What all this is leading to is... well, it takes a lot for a guy not on TV to get my attention...

CM Punk, whom I never heard of before two months ago, and have NEVER seen perform, has gotten my attention...

Here's what I know about CM Punk, via his Live Journal and his website and from my sources and people I talk to...

1: He's small

2: He's great on the stick

3: He's fat

4: He's going bald

5: He's arrogant

6: He thinks he'll never do steroids

7: His first match with the OVW he busted his nose and ruptured his eardrum

8: He fucks Mickie Alexis Laree

9: He likes to work stiff.

10: He has a bunch of nifty moves

11: He has great facial expressions.

12: He is a Straight Razor... or something

13: And he never can sleep.

Well... okay. Maybe he's the future, maybe he's not... some people swear he's going to lead the business for the next ten years... others think he's a runt. Here's what I think...

I think he'd be able to sleep if he grew a pair of balls and learned that it's OKAY to have a little sip of liquor before bedtime. He'd sleep like a baby if he just had a little LEGAL nip of something to chill out with.

I ALSO think that, in my experience, people who live by a stupid code like these straight edgers "No drugs, no booze, no wild fucking" are more tapped and less stable than those who DO know how to party.

I ALSO think that a year under his new WWE schedule a year under the WWE hoiuse show schedule, we'll be hearing less and less bragging about how "Drug Free" he is. This is the big time, champ... no more weeks between gigs. No more blocks of Indy dates. Get all your crowing out now because in a couple of years, I doubt it won't be as loud.

I ALSO think that the boys in the WWE LOVE reps like his... I can't wait to see Bob Holly break this kid in... then we'll see how stiff he likes it.

I ALSO think that he's got a long road ahead of him... because I seem to remember hearing something about his big WWE try-out dark match that was watched by Triple H AND HBK... and both of whom said the guy sucks. Two of the heaviest influences in the company... not just Hunter, which would've sucked... not JUST Michaels, which REALLY would've sucked... but both... AT THE SAME TIME... said you need work. I hope he isn't in love with his own Indy legend yet. Because this looks like the plan will be to break him down and rebuild him... from scratch. You people will know when the first phase of his re-conditioning is completed when his Live Journal and his website suddenly vanish.

CM Punk is about to have his drug-free ass assimiliated! The Punkster is about to be made compliant.

I love this.... this kid, I guess, has all the tools he needs. Now he's going to get broken in. Now's he's going to conform.

The CM Punk you all know and love is about to die... the guy who replaces him will look like him, talk like him, walk like him... but it won't be the guy you all worship. And no one will be scared of what her says with a mic in hand, because he's going to say exactly what he's told to say... with a smile. You BET'CHA!

You can't be a Punker in corporate wrestling!!!

CM sold out! He just doesn't know it, yet!

Now take a fucking shot of whiskey, you freak. It's not going to kill you. Might even make you feel good.

And.... well.... no one will piss on you if you suddenly get "bigger" after a while in the big time... we all know what Vince likes to see in his workers... no one will blame you.


Ahhh, indy life... where a bunch of clueless squirrels run around trying to find a place to put there nuts.

As reported here, in this very story, we have another case where one of the many, MANY people who like to hang around the wrestling scene without actually wrestling... (you know them as "marks") actually caught the interest of one of the many, MANY females who have devoted time and energy to their bodies in hopes of being the next Trish Stratus.

So what happens when a "mark" (who works for Frank Goodman's silly fed... of which I plan on focusing some attention on in the near future) actually grabs the interest of one of these hotties? Does he turn on the mack? Did he crank out the old CHARM?

Uhhh... no. Let's look at the chat and see where he went wrong:

FemaleWrestlerLookingToBeBookedByUXW: oh ok i need an agent to help me get bookngs!
BrianWittenstein: i can try
BrianWittenstein: i help elix skipper and a few other guys when i can

(Hyatte: Okay, he's off to a good start. He showed interest in her cause and didn't guarentee assistance, but promised to put forth a solid effort. The seeds are being planted. He is making himself useful to her.)

FemaleWrestlerLookingToBeBookedByUXW: wow you're so good thank you brian
FemaleWrestlerLookingToBeBookedByUXW: My goal is to go to WWE or TNA

(Hyatte: SCORE!! His kindness paid off! She wants to talk about herself to him. She knows he's interested in HER... the PERSON and not just the surface. This is the crucial time for trying to score a girl. You have to listen to everything she says and repond with wit, intelligence, and enough aloofness to let her know she isn't really the most amazing thing to ever talk to you.)

BrianWittenstein: tru, thats everyones goal , atleast i hope so, and i do have people with both companies so who knows

(Hyatte: A little display of power here. He just laid down the cards. He just said: 'I've got CONNECTIONS, baby!'. He just made a subtle case for why she should stick to him like glue. He's on his way. He's halfway in. She'll be blowing him before Thanksgiving.)

BrianWittenstein: well tna i know like everyone, i been down there 4 times or so and worked with alot of them and matt striker in wwe was my trainer so i can get you anywhere

(Hyatte: ... that was a risky move. If you start namedropping, don't namedrop Matt Stryker. If the girl surfs online a bit, then chances are she already knows about how Matt Stryker mamaged to piss off Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, and had Harcore Holly damn near rip his head off. Matt Stryker isn't a name to be dropped. Matt Stryker is a moron. Bad move, unless this girl is known for being a shmuck. Otherwise, baaaaad mooooove.)

FemaleWrestlerLookingToBeBookedByUXW: You should come to the next show I'm at and we can talk about my career

(Hyatte: That's A DATE!! She just invited him to hang out and "talk"! HE DID IT!)

BrianWittenstein: if i cum you wont be able to talk
BrianWittenstein: lol

(Hyatte:... and then he shot his wad. Right there. He got over excited and just couldn't handle it. He thought things were going so well he just laid out a little innuendo. A little innuendo isn't bad, but you have to dip your toes in the water first before you jump right in. You don't KNOW this girl, dude, you just know how she looks when she's working. Too much too soon. Tooooooo thick.)

FemaleWrestlerLookingToBeBookedByUXW: are you a virgin or something?
BrianWittenstein: yeah u can say that

(Hyatte: WHAT??? WHAT THE F???? Of all the POSSIBLE answers to give... why admit to that?

No girl IN THE WORLD older than 18 wants a virgin. Why did he say that? Was he looking for pity? For sympathy? For the "awwww that's cute." factor? The asshole just turned himselfg into a world class creep to her. Now she's going to lock her doors at night and make sure someone with big arms is with her at all times whenever she's within 50 feet of this guy. Good job.

And then he just rolled along.)

BrianWittenstein: but ill make u squirt before i cum
BrianWittenstein: and u know the avg (penis) is 5.5 and I'm 8 inches
FemaleWrestlerLookingToBeBookedByUXW: Fuck you, don't talk to me like that

(Hyatte: Oh so he won't lie about being a virgin but you'll lie about his dick size?

This is what happens when the only sexual avenue a guy has is jerking off to porn movies. Guys, I know a great many of you are fat loners. I also know a great many of the people who work Indy shows without actually wrestling in them are fat loner MARKS who spend weeks thinking of all the hotties who worked the show they sold tickets at. These girls are not porno stars. They don't think like porn stars. Porn stars don't think like porn stars. They don't tip the pizza guy with anal. IT'S A SCRIPT!!

If you practice your mack-talk from watching Peter North, you're going to get a LOT of "fuck you"s. People... guys.... you CAN get laid... you CAN get girls to like you... but you have to remember that, to most chicks, sex is a GIFT. Their pussy is a GIFT that they WANT to give to you. You have to EARN it.

If you're really hot, with a good body, then it's different... but you still need to be cool. If this Wittenstein clown looked like Brad Pitt with a body like the Rock, the chick would STILL tell him to fuck off after that bullshit.


Moral of the story: Some whack ass people work in the Indys... Frank Goodman is a creep... it sucks being a hot, young babe in this business, and nobody, and I mean NOBODY who puts up flyers for an Indy fed has ANY connections in the business whatsoever. They can't help you, girls. Not a single one of them.

Yeesh... and I'll be up front. My penis is 5 inches clean. It's almost six if I jam the ruler right into the root! YOU HEAR THAT, APRIL HUNTER?!?!?!

8 inches... no Jew is 8 inches. That's penance for killing Jesus.

Oh, and I don't know who the girl is, so don't ask.


Whenever we talk, I can always count on Flea to give his opinions on just about anything.

So, I decided to grab a pen and paper and start jotting down his thoughts. Everyone likes Flea.

The following is 100% true... more or less:


marinading meat?

Depends on what you're marinading. Anyone who marinades steak is a fucking asshole.

Flea: He keeps his promises.


I, for one, am so sick and tired of HHH bashing. The net is jammed packed with it, non-stop.

But here at DOI, youngsters with a gleam in their eye and a PASSION for landing on their heads and laying pipe on every rat they can get
their hands always come here for the latest news and gossip. It is these young rasslers who need to know. Triple H isn't to be hated. Triple H is to be WORSHIPPED. And here is one of the many, MANY reasons why...

Triple H Is Better Than You Because...

The guy holds CM Punk's career IN HIS HANDS! So the "Punker" better get to the asskissing!



*Bananas contain a natural chemical which can make a person happy. This same chemical is also found in Prozac.*

And just like that, you're smarter than you were three seconds ago

Hyatte LIVES to inform.

So if someone you know needs cheering up... if there's some hottie you're trying to score and looking to lighten her up a bit...

April Hunter! Do you like a nice banana, babe? Contact the great Hy8... we'll talk bananas, careers, positions... whatever you need!


nope, not this week... so how about this...


WRESTLE!! NASH!!- some fan

I guess you haven't been following my career, son! I don't wrestle. Someone else does and I get all the money!

Kevin Nash.

With Kevin Nash dropping dead from a massive heart attack last week, and his wrestling career... or at least the career he had where he stepped into the ring, got all the heat, and made guys like AJ Styles jump around like assholes for 15 minutes, over... let's take a nice look at why Kevin Nash was important to this business... and why you can say HE was the very first wrestler to "break kayfabe" on camera....

It’s easy to see why the Net hates Kevin Nash. He’s tall. He’s a wiseass. He has four moves. He won’t put over Benoit. He’s HHH’s friend. He’s probably banged more models than most of you have jerked off. Oh he sucks.


Case in point… in 1994 Big Daddy Cool Diesel just won the WWF title from Bob Backlund. He showed up on WWF TV for an in-ring interview with Vince McMahon. Vince (kayfabbing his ass off, as he was wont to do back then) asked Nash how he felt being the new world champion. Diesel said this:

Well, I woke up this morning and there was a smile on my face that wasn’t there before.

For some reason, it stuck with me… to this day I remember it. I don’t know why.


One year later: Big Daddy Cool Diesel had just dropped the WWF title to Bret Hart at Survivor Series. The next night on Raw, Nash storms into the building and (after a commercial break) goes over to the announce table and grabs a microphone. He cuts a promo about how the kinder/gentler face Diesel was gone and the bad ass killer from “Royal Rumble in Providence” was baaaack.

He also looked at McMahon and said: “I was never comfortable as champion. I knew I was in for trouble when YOU, Vince, took me into your office and told me to start SMILING more! You wanted to see your new champion with a big SMILE, all the time!”

And I damn near fell out of my chair. Since I was no where near the net back then, it was the closest I came to seeing the inner working of the WWF. They actually want their champions to smile… to pose with the kids… to sell themselves as a HERO.

Well, okay… it’s not too friggin’ mind blowing… but it’s way cool to hear him bitch about it.

So why does Nash RULE? WHY?

Because now that Brock Lesnar has the gold… he’s been sporting the LARGEST, BIGGEST, SHIT EATINGEST GRIN I’VE EVER SEEN!!! (and he looks like a moron while doing it, but that’s besides the point) And every time I see him smiling, I think of Nash, and I smile too.

God bless the no-selling, four moves, model banging, knees shot to shit, locker-room troublemaking bastard. GOD BLESS HIM AND FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!

Jesus, you’d never see Benoit making cracks like that… oh no.

WHY should you care? Well, the list is long and glorious (I think… I’m writing on the fly and really have no clue what I’m about to type next):

-Who else are you gonna bitch about? Triple H? Isn’t that getting BORING? Nash WAS Big Lazy! Nash inspired more hatred from the Net than X-Pac in his prime!

-Who was more fun to make jokes about? No ONE pulled more muscles with more delightful consistency then Big Kevin! Oh, sure, there’s Hunter, but again… how many times can you eat the same meal? Variety is the spice of LIFE!

-Who will be the measuring stick now? Whenever you cry and weep about Benoit, you always hold up Nash as the guy who always gets the UNFAIR push that Benoit is always denied! At least HHH is smart… at least Hunter cares about the business! Nash has always been for himself… and has always been the PERFECT bad guy for all you smarts to rally against! With Nash gone, there is a hole that Hunter alone cannot fill!

-Who will be more fun? With Nash in the locker room, you never knew when the powderkeg would explode! Who provided the most fun gossip for web geeks to chatter about? Who was the most destructive locker room politico? WHO??? I’m sorry, but Rikishi ain’t up for the task!

-Who will be the most dangerous with a live mic? One day, with the right opportunity and in the right ball busting mood, Kevin Nash would have taken the mic and used his eloquence to make caustic shoot comments that would drive management crazy and net smarks up a wall… with the rest of the casual audience no wiser. This is called BRILLIANT mic work and it drive you cats CRAZY

-Who will assume the mantle of being “waaay too cool for this room” now that Nash is gone? What other forty year old fart will dress in Fubu gear and act like a teenager?

-For chrissakes, people… who’s gonna swear on a stack of Bibles that Scott Hall is sober and ready to work when all of Orlando, Florida pees their pants whenever Hall gets behind the wheel?


-Finally… who will keep the classic rasslin’ tradition of opening each and every promo with either “First off”, or “Ya know,” or “Lemme tell you something”? Only PIPER was as consistent… now all these jabronies try to talk like the Rock! It’s sad… it’s disgusting.

Cheer the passing of Kevin Nash’s wrestling career? How DARE you! You may have not WANTED Kevin Nash, but goddamit, WE NEED KEVIN NASH!!!

And finally… just for old time’s sake:

And finally, because he’s pretty much all done…

Here’s the scene: It’s Nitro... the first NEW Nitro… the one where Everything Changed… for a few weeks, everyone was positive… everyone enthused… everyone EAGER to help re-launch Nitro BACK to glory (then time went on and it finally sunk into Hogan’s mind that he was being asked to put over Billy Kidman, for chrissakes)

Anyway… Nitro was in DEAD SERIOUS mode that night… no time for fun and games… the stakes were high and REAL…

So, of course, leave it to Nash to get in one… little… poke…

my question is, what the hell happened to that sweet little rasslin' show we were doin' every Monday? I mean, where in the hell is the Dog when you need him?- Nash

Indeed… where WAS the Dog… where indeed?

Kevin…. Oh Kevin… we hardly knew ye.

But turns out he DID have a heart!

And with everything about done, we wrap up with something I promised....


If you're joining me late in the game... last week Mark Madden threatened to sue this site and me for stuff I've said about his Mother over the years (so, its a retroactive thing). He and the MiC exchanged some letters over it.

And these are the letters:

----- Original Message -----
From: Mark.Madden@*****.com
Cc: Madden, Mark
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 1:19 PM
Subject: from mark madden


my name is mark madden. i am a radio host w/espn, and a former color commentator for wcw.

i know the slander laws re: the internet are vague at best. but if mr. hyatte continues to slander my mother on your web site, you and he get to assist me, my lawyer and a court of law in checking that out. if it stops now, i won't forgive. but i will forget.

i can't imagine, for the life of me, why you think garbage like that would be interesting to anyone. this poor woman is facing an uphill fight against a terrible illness, and some idiot writes bizarre sexual fantasies about her on the internet just to get back at me -- even though i've never done anything to personally offend the guy. does that sound just to you? my mother doesn't read it, thank god. but i do. put yourself in my place.

if this slander doesn't cease and desist, the next person you'll be hearing from is my lawyer. i'm very serious about this. an apology on your web site wouldn't be out of line, either.

by the way, this e-mail is private and NOT to be reproduced or quoted anywhere, including on your web site.

thank you,
mark madden

----- Original Message -----
To: Mark.Madden@***.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 2:44 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden


I am sorry that you find the material written by Mr. Hyatte offensive, but that is an issue you have to take up with him. While I'm sure you don't know my history, I have been sued 5 times over "controversial" material on my site, and each time I have won, and in two cases I was able to countersue and receive compensation for attorney fees. The DOI is a controversial wrestling website, provoking silly lawsuits tha don't go nowhere.

People do like Hyatte's work. DOI traffic has jumped up since Hyatte has jumped on board. People do find him interesting. I don't understand for the life of me, why someone as successful as you, and for someone who has made alot of money off the wrestling business, would even care what Chris Hyatte has to say? By even sending me this email, it is a victory for Hyatte. People have said nastier things about me, but I just ignore it and it stops. Once Hyatte finds out that you sent this email, I'm sure he will be smiling ear-to-ear because by even acknowledging him, you're giving him a victory in your guys feud.
I can not edit Hyatte's work. I will not edit Hyatte's work. None of what he wrote on my site can even be considered slander. It's parody. The only thing I can promise you is that your private and personal information such as your phone number or address won't appear on my site. Whether he wants to make juvenile mother jokes is up to him. It's up to you if you're going to let it affect you, and I really don't understand why you'd waste time over this.
I am sorry you didn't read our privacy policy nor our disclaimer on our site. All emails sent to the DOI become property of the DOI and are allowed to be used for reprinting. I had a lawyer doublecheck my policy and disclaimer, and as a journalist, I am allowed to reprint all feedback on the site. As a journalist yourself, you should know that.

I am not worried about legal threats. I am 5-0 (7-0 with countersuits) and have no problem going 8-0. After consulting my lawyer, he told me the case you would like to bring up against me if this continues has no merit and would just be a waste of time.

If you have a problem with Hyatte, I suggest you take it up with him like a man. I don't want to be involved in your war with him, so leave me out of it. Now that he knows he's getting a rise out of you, he'll probably push the envelope further.

I am sorry that we are not on the best of terms due to Hyatte's writings, but this is America and there is freedom of speech. Making silly mother jokes is nothing to worry about. Can you imagine every 4th grader in the world suing each other for momma jokes?

I really hope you can contact Hyatte and work out your beef, because I am not telling Hyatte how to write his column, nor will I edit his column.

Take care and good luck with all your future endeavors.

Sean McCaffrey

----- Original Message -----
To: Mark.Madden@****.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 3:28 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden

also, i KNOW that putting a privacy disclaimer on my e-mail prevents you from printing it, or distributing it.

That works for phone calls and face-to-face meetings, not for emails.

In a message dated 10/18/2005 3:13:45 PM Eastern Standard Time, writes:

also, mr. mccaffery, this goes beyond silly fourth-grade mother jokes given my mother's illness. don't you agree? i hope you never have to go through what i am.

----- Original Message -----
To: Mark.Madden@******.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 3:36 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden

I have had people insult me and my family before. Some people I have hit for it. You should go through Hyatte and call him out on it. You shouldn't be talking to me, because writing about people's families is not my style. I don't understand why you can't contact him and settle and work your issues out.
People have written stuff about me which I have also just ignored. There's no reason giving people who you believe are under you the satisfaction of a reaction.


From: Mark.Madden@****.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 3:21 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden

you and hyatte are both heartless jackals. we'll work this out one way, or another.

----- Original Message -----
To: Mark.Madden@****.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 3:38 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden

Now I am a heartless jackal?

Mark- I have no problem with you nor know you. Imagine getting an email from someone you don't know full of legal threats. Your initial email to me wasn't respectful in the least, but I showed you courtesy. Perhaps if you were a little less "legal threatening" and showed me you cared more about the issue than a future court date, I would've been more sympathetic.


----- Original Message -----
From: Mark.Madden@****.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 3:50 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden
In a message dated 10/18/2005 3:50:24 PM Eastern Standard Time, Mark.Madden@****.com writes:

it's on your site. you're just as responsible as him. i'm not going to contact him. i don't deal with animals. i had hoped you had more class than him. was i wrong?

----- Original Message -----
To: Mark.Madden@****.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2005 4:30 PM
Subject: Re: from mark madden

Only two columns of his appear on my site. He's written "worse" elsewhere. Plus, I saw your post on the Torch where you started it and riled him up. I think you'd have more class than to start an inane feud with an internet writer. Was I wrong?


In the course of a few letters I was called an "idiot", a "heartless jackal", and and "animal".

Can you imagine going to a lawyer with this?

I should also point out that he promised to put me in intensive care should he ever see me in person. I'm not worried, I have a funny feeling I can outrun him.

Anyway, it's ironic that he'd call me a heartless jackal... because JUST last Thursday I gave his mother The Heartless Jackal.... dear god, did she MOAN!!!

Never even KNEW you could fit an entire can of Raid up there.... poor girl. Every time she farted I broke out in hives. MAN, that was a time... I STILL have a rash on my nuts.

Now you see, Mark. I haven't made a joke about you in YEARS and you went ahead and kicked up this ruckus... now I got THREE column's worth of material out of it... PLUS I ruined your self-made reputation as a Net God... PLUS Trish Stratus thinks you're a clown too.

So now me and Ellis Cannon now own your ass.

Next time, why don't you wait until I actually DO go too far before you make silly threats. Like... if I posted your mother's full name and a picture... or her phone number... or yours... or street address. You have no case and you arrogantly thought you could scare me (or at least Sean here) with a pseudo-legal threat. Totally backfired.

Outplayed, son. Bluffed was called. See you on the Torch boards!

I'm done. Next week... umm... I don't know. Oh, I know! I'm goign to try to get a few of your Indy wrestlers to do something, like, TOTALLY insane!!

I'm going to get you to READ!


This is Hyatte