The Midnight News
From the DOI message board:
Can ANY illiterate moron post "columns" on DOI? What qualifications does the writer have for this "job" except too much free time? I think my 9 year old nephew could write a better column with more focus than this guy. Does anyone on DOI know what SPELLCHECK is used for? If you don't, you never write a column without it.
Your 9 year old Nephew couldn't do this column. You are giving your gene pool WAAAAY too much credit, sir.
And yes, any illiterate moron CAN post a... err... "column" on DOI... but they won't have the readership I get.
Hyatte's rants are really good, but that dude really does need to use spellcheck.
First of all, I don't "rant", and I believe I cleared that up years ago. Second of all... yuor right, I do nered to spellchexck
Hello ingrates. I'm Chris and this is the Midnight News. Got a LOT to get to and a LOT of time to do it in... so let's just get to it.
I didn't see it... but the Sopranos was the BOMB, DUDE!
But SOMEONE backstage called me and held his cell phone up, so I heard some of the comments that were made after the show.
The following was what I overheard...
"We just fucked over Wrestlemania's buyrate! HIGH FIVE!"
"TAKE YER TOP OFF, DIXIE!"
"Man, you can show Titanic widescreen on Borden's forehead!"
"Great job, Mr Jarrett! Bravo!"
"Where's my wallet?? Someone round up all the darkies!"
"Hey look! Bullet Bob's pubes are gray!"
"What the hell is Jimmy Smits doing here?"
"Why is AJ on his knees "praying" in front of Billy Gunn for? And ain't he cawfully close?"
"We need Russo back!"
"Dusty would have never booked this bullshit!"
"Oh fuck, Joe's at the buffet. There goes my dinner."
"No I will NOT let you pay me in Protein bars!"
"Keep Zbyszko away from my daughter!"
"I wonder what Raven and Jeff Hardy are doing huddled in the corner"
"Come look at this! Borash just snorted some paint thinner and now he's bent over the sink with his pants off and his cheeks spread!"
"How is Steiner still alive?"
"Let's get K Kwick to go outside and chase the white folks into their cars!"
"Monty, I love you, but I have no fucking clue what you just said."
"Vince was so right about Christian"
"How come the WWE gets all the skinny chicks?"
"I got some dental floss, let's blindfold Gail!"
"What an awesome Ultimate X match! Next time they should fight on the wing of a flying jet!"
"Anyone have Johnny Ace's number?"
And so on, and so forth... there are 20 million places to get a recap... go find them
THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE FUTURE EX MRS. TRISH HYATTE
The ever-lovely, ever-versatile, NON-PLAYBOY POSING Trish Stratus will be hosting The Canadian Walk of Fame awards on June 3rd. Flexing her funny bone in a live monologue and offering humorous bon mots as Canada CELEBRATES celebrities who went to America to find major success... such luminarties as Pam Anderson, Eugene Levy, Alex Trebek... you know, the heavyweights
Here's all the info you need
However, being the top-notch Rasslin' reporter that I am (and Meltzer can CHUG me), I happened to have gotten hold of her opening stand-up set! See, like Saturday Night Live, the "Host" of this event must welcome the audience and crack them up with a few minutes of jokes, just to get the ready and to show that she is worthy of being there! Well, here's what Henny Stratus will be doing to get YOU ready FOR HYSTERICS!!
How are ya, eh? How are ya, eh?, How are ya, eh? Just a minute, I have a few more how are ya, ehs!
We are here to honor our fellow Canadians who have done what we ALL hope for, to split this boring dump and head South for big money AMERICA! TAKE ME, PAMELA!! TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUU!!
Wow, great crowd, great crowd! I haven't seen such a great house since... Jesus, I can't remember that far back! Damn you Vince!
Now I know I'm stacked with a million dollar body, but I only like guys with sharp minds, a dazzling sense of humor, and all their teeth! So 99% of you hosers are out of luck!
Wow, this Hosting thing is an easy gig, althoug not as easy as getting hosers to believe they are talking to Trish Stratus online without a SHRED of proof! Internet losers are so STUPID, eh.
Pamela Anderson and I go way back. We've puked our lunch into the same toilet many times!
And that girl can PUKE! One time I watched her hurl out her overies. Took me an hour trying to get them back in there. Pammy got so SLIPPERY!
I better get one of these awards soon or I'm moving to America and living with some loser in a two bedroom apartment. DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS, CANADA! HOOK ME UP!
And yes, I'm a wrestler, a WWE Superstar. Now I don't want to say that wrestlers are dumb, but at least once a month someone in the locker room asks me, "Trish, why did you blade your crotch?"
And I know, wrestling is totally ILLOGICAL! I mean, give me a break. The sport has people being thrown to the ropes, bouncing off, and running back at their opponents... as if they couldn't stop! "Oh no, inertia! I CAN'T STOP!"
It's a stupid business! Like, whenever someone lifts me for a bodyslam, they have their hands on my crotch and my head in theirs... like, HELLO, why drop me, let's hang and see what happens, you know?
People always ask if I'm a lesbian! Like, how dumb is that? Just because I spend every night rolling around the ring grappling with an impossibly hot girl doesn't mean that I... I... *sniff sniff* anyone smell tuna? (looks down) Oh wait, it's just me. Tee hee
Boy I'm glad to be back in the homeland. Usually I'm in America. I hate American men with their cheesy come-ons. "What's your sign?", "You must have a mirror in your pants because I can totally see myself in them", "I have money and clean apartment".. Jesus, Canadian men have the best lines! "Wanna go for a ride in my beater?", "There's a chinhook in my pants and you're invited!", "I wanna high stick you and get into your penalty box!" You know, the classics!
Now I know you see me and think I get a lot of sex, but truth is, I haven't been laid in years! Every time someone jumps on me they hit my tits and bounce off out of the bed and sometimes clear out of the room! I've knocked out more men than Lennox Lewis!
So I'm here to say once and for all that wrestling is NOT fake! I mean, do I look fake? Okay, the hair is dyed... and this is my third nose... and the teeth are... and of course I haven't seen my toes since Alanis was shagging Dave Coulier... and I've had so much lipo I have a lifetime contract with the folks at Hoover... and WELL WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT!!! THANK YOU ALL!
Didn't say she was FUNNY... just, interesting.
I'm sure she'll be great! And get lots of post-WWE acting opportunities from it... and have a lovely post wrestling career... and forget all about wrestling fans... and marry some rich pretty boy actor... or perhaps her agent... or a director.
Just ducky... great.
Suddenly, and for no reason, I'm very depressed. Let's move on. Let's move from the tippety TOP of women in wrestling to... well...
THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF THE JERSEY RAT
To what is known as "the bottom of the barrel"
Last night, Dana Dameson made her return to Independant wrestling courtesy of ABC Pro Wrestling and some goof named "Jimmy Hustler" (as in: watch him HUSTLE his ass out to Mexico when the damn checks bounce!) and brought alleged pederast/all around creep Rob Feinstein with her. For some reason, this is sort'a big news.
So, for anyone who is interested... allow me to provide a brief synopsis of the career of Dana Dameson, just to make sure we are all clear on who we are dealing with here:
*Dane is under 5 feet and weighs a hunky 110 pounds. Her cheeks seem to have been built to hold many, many acorns and would be the largest things on her were it not for her huge tits.
*She got her start with Frank Goodman who, with every story I read about him, seems to get sleazier and sleazier. Goodman coerced her to tease a breast flash at a show one night and that simple move got her plenty of bookings.
*Dana has absolutely ZERO formal training as a wrestler. One doubts she even watched it on TV.
*Dana used her new-found Indy popularity to get cozy with plenty of wrestlers. Plenty. The list is coming, be patient.
*Dana had one day of professional training, by someone named "Richie Rotten" (where do you people GET THESE SILLY NAMES???). It only lasted a day and Dana ended up calling Mr. "Rotten" (oy vey) a "a cross-eyed white piece of trash".
*Dana then tried to train with Eric Simms. That didn't last either and Dana ended up telling anyone who would listen that Simms was "an annoying Jew". (Umm, is there any other kind?)
*Dana's sex life became more interesting than her... heh... career. Her two most public affairs were with wrestlers Billy Reil and Deranged. Both of whom dumped her after she insisted on making the relationship steady and longer-term.
*Both Deranged and Reil went running to Frank Goodman's Hotline... umm... show and accused Dana of having a vagina that smelled like dog shit.
*Dameson responded on Goodman's show by accusing both men of having very small penises. (so fuckin' WHAT?? It ain't what you got, sweetie... it's what you DO with it)
*Over the course of several visits to Goodman's Hotline, Dana Dameson made some UGLY racial remarks. Apparently, she isn't a fan of "niggers" and is, in fact, afraid of them. (well... who ain't?) and isn't too high on "kikes" either. Not a big fan of "spics" either.
*On Christmas Eve, 2004 at an Indy show Dana ran into famed Indy star (and current TNA star with a massive shoulder injury with no insurance to fix it) Homicide who, with Deranged, tried to confront her about her racist remarks. Dana ran, fell down, ran into Deranged, pushed past him, fell down a flight of stairs, continued to run, got into her car, backed up into a parked car, rammed it, and took off. The entire locker room watched this and laughed.
*Dana ran to the cops and the cops ran to the Indy show to question Deranged and Homicide. They arrested Deranged but couldn't locate Homicide for the simple fact that no one knew his real name! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA)
*Dana pressed charges on Deranged, but they were later dropped when she didn't appear in court.
*After this incident, Dana was effectively blackballed from Indy wrestling. No one really missed her. She tried to run a Live Journal and later a MySpace, but dropped both of them after constant harrassment and general anonymous ball busting. Her blogs frequently say, "I'm not in the business anymore, so leave me alone you LOSERS."
*After wrestling... Dana tried modeling. But her general fattiness didn't get her very far. That mustache of hers didn't help either. Up until last night, she made her money selling shooters at a Jersey strip club.
*The list of men she either fucked, sucked, or both include such TOP STARS like: Ricky O, Frankie Hawke, Doug Gentry, the Sandman, Matt Striker, Billy Reil, Deranged, and Rob Feinstein. Frank Goodman's money mark Anthony DeBlasi once took her out and spent $500 on her but got nothing but blue balls.
And now... she's back. She worked the ABC Pro Wrestling show, which was a promo, gave the audience a flabby ass shot, and then, according to various reports was seen banging/blowing possible pederast/all-around chicken feeder Rob Feinstein in his truck afterwards. ABC owner Jimmy Hustler hopes for high DVD sales because of her.
Dana Dameson is 20 years old. Dana Dameson is from Jersey. Dana Dameson is hairy. Dana Dameson is the walking, talking, living, breathing definition of a "butterface", except her body isn't that much to gawk at either... besides her huge, floppy tits and that flabby ass.
You don't need a Magic 8 ball to see this chick's future. There will be partying and sex and pregnancy and desperation and pretty soon the natural youth will give way to whatever she's doing to NOT take care of herself and all that babyfat will turn into old-girl fat and in 10 years she'll be married to some miserable bum and will spend her days watching soap operas and pigging out and everything she says will be loud and obnoxious and her hair will go all ratty and her clothes will be discount and in only 10 years she'll live out the rest of a unremarkable life.
But today, she's a point of interest for a very small audience and is the queen of everything that's BAD about this business. You want to see what the sleazy side of wrestling looks like? Google the name "Dana Dameson". It's all you need to know.
And Rob Feinstein is more or less a barnacle on the ass-end of the business too.
Don't feel bad for Dana Dameson, feel bad for the loser who ends up marrying her. Pity her kids too.
She should have never come back. The dickhead who booked her return should be thrown out of the business
Gloss it up, produce it nice, and throw money at it all you want... it doesn't matter, Professional Wrestling has never really left the back alleys.
A FUN FACT THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK SMARTER
*A common goldfish can live for over 20 years*
And just like that, you're smarter than you were three seconds ago
Hyatte LIVES to inform.
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO FLEA
Whenever we talk, I can always count on Flea to give his opinions on just about anything.
So, I decided to grab a pen and paper and start jotting down his thoughts. Everyone likes Flea.
The following is 100% true... more or less:
WHERE DOES FLEA STAND ON...
Glad it's gone. It was only funny if the definition of funny is "I'm not laughing"
Flea: Who now needs a nap in between all his partying. Heh, he's old.
THE HOUSE THAT WADE BUILT
Clearly, I'm low on material this week, so I have to pick on web guys...
Wade Keller, who produces a newsletter called "The PW Torch", suckered made enough money from goofball marks to build and move into his own home. As I write this, he is moving. No, really, go to Minneapolis and watch him lug shit out of the moving trucks.
I don't like Wade Keller, but I don't hate him either. I'm rather indifferent, which is to say I don't care about him. He runs a decent messaage board, but for some reason, he keeps thinking it should be "The Thinking Fan's" board... which it can never be because he has too many tools posting there.
ANYWAY... for a little fun, here's a small list of Housewarming gifts you all can send to Wade... if you are so inclined...
-A box of Astroglide
-A subscription to "The Wrestling Observer"
-A red ball gag/handcuffs/edible latex underwear gift pack
-The "Best of Bjork" CD
-Naked pictures of Bruce Mitchell (although he probably has those)
-Any one of his dead relatives back
-the balls to fire Pat McNeill
-Cancer in a bottle
-a free surgery to remove that basketball-sized Adam's apple
-The nerve to ask one of those wrestlers he interviews even ONE tough question
-a rubber Kobe Tai vagina
-a bottle of OxyContin
-"Queer as Folk: The Complete Series"
-A gift certificate to "Old Navy"
-That bird flue that's gonna kill us all anyway
-Box of Rogaine
-Herpe sores on his mouth
-a well hung black male stripper named Diego
And... nah, that's it. Congratulations, Wade!
Amazingly, it only took me three columns worth of ripping apart PW Insider/Feared reporter Dave Scherer's blogs to get him to stop...
OR, as I suspected... once he delivered his TWO PART blog on how he transformed himself from a fat, obnoxious, saggy asshole to a ripped, shredded, lean asshole, which he has been waiting two years to do, he'd have no more use for "blogging"
So I was wondering... this is Dave Scherer, possibly the most arrogant twit the IWC has ever seen, who's main goal in life is to get himself over and a superior human... he just couldn't NOT talk about himself... even if he isn't BLOGGING, he must have SOME forum to continue his quest to impress us and get over...
(ugh... talking in carny terms... yeesh)
Then it hit me... AUDIO! Every week, Scherer and that troll-elf Mike Johnson or that Buck Woodward clown (who sounds like his tongue is too large for his mouth) do several "audio" reports (with some of the worst, cheapest equipment imaginable) where they crack jokes, talk wrestling, and general bullshit...
So OF COURSE... Dave MUST OCCASIONALLY mention himself and how great he is in these audios... so I listened to a couple... and struck GOLD!
The following comes from an Audio show he did with Mike Johnson early last week. All of this comes from ONE show... only 31 MINUTES LONG... let's see how many times Dave puts himself over, and where in the show he did it.
ELITE HOTLINE: 3/7/06
I never got the whole deal with hazing anyway. I... I mean, I played sports my whole life and... (9:45)
Ya know, I've been working out most of my life except for that time I didn't and ballooned up(laughs) and have since passed that again... (12:09)
The real tough people aren't the ones who brag about how tough they are or how strong they are or... how tough and this and that and... you know, I've seen it at the gym where I work out all the time (12:27)
Just do what you can do and.. don't brag about it to people. Just... do your job and do what you do and don't be a knucklehead
This is coming from a man who, for the last two years has been BRAGGING about "doing what he does"... including two VERY LONG BLOGS detailing just HOW he did it
We have lawsuits to talk about tomorrow. I think I'm going to print them out and read them while at the gym today while I'm exercising so people can watch me while..
This is where Mike Johnson interrupted him and brought up the lack of PW Insider blogs... and Dave provided a very TELLING response...
Johnson: ... Yeah, yeah that was what I was going to ask you about. While you were doing that blog thing, which we really got to get going agai...
Scherer:Yeah, yeah I just don't have anything to talk about... (26:48)
SEE!! I TOLD YOU! THE ASSHOLE ONLY CREATED THE BLOG TO TALK ABOUT HIS AWESOME NEW BODY AND NOW HAS NOTHING LEFT! IT WAS ALL TO GET HIMSELF OVER IN DETAIL!! DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER DOUBT ME AGAIN!! I KNOW THIS FUCKER!!
Anyway... Dave wasn't done with the BRAGGING...
I walk three or four miles a day, then turn around and walk back... (27:21)
... and I always walk at a pretty good clip (28:00)
31 minutes. A 31 minute webcast and look at all the bragging...
Ah, and in his continuing quest to create new terms that fans WORLD WIDE will embrace and adore and use in EVERYDAY conversation... following in the footsteps of such great new words/phrases as "Shork", "Stephanie's Boobs", and "The Triple H Effect", Dave has now taken to calling Vince McMahon, "Vince McTan"... as a reference to Vince's tanning booth incident that quietly went away. Johnson didn't sell it. And even asked Dave what it was supposed to mean. Dave explained it IN GREAT DETAIL... then admitted that it cracked him up. His own joke cracked him up.
Over the course of last week, Dave participated in 3 more webcasts.... I didn't have the stomach to go through them all.... but I DID hear him talk about how his wife needed medical "tests" for something... so he will probably miss Wrestlemania because of it. Next week, I'll talk about what could Mrs Scherer POSSIBLY have. I'm thinking AIDS for some reason.
Oh, and still NO picture of the new, improved, SHREDDED, Dave Scherer... all we have to go on is this.
Dave Scherer needs to be tortured. Dave Scherer has had this coming a long time. Now all I need is to see what his wife and daughter looks like... then we'll REALLY have some fun.
The prick needs to be abused.
While I'm on the topic...
THE IWC… DEAR GOD, KILL ME NOW
Let's throw this in here... why not.
The following are things you’ll never read from a big member of the IWC (any one: Scherer, Meltzer, Keller, Mitchell, Scooter, Sca..oh, I said a BIG member, didn’t I?, etc, etc… doesn’t really matter):
-I’m sorry this column feels mailed in, I got laid last night and STILL can’t believe it.
-Wrestling is better with Hulk Hogan in it.
-Russo didn't do that bad a job in WCW.
-Wow, didn’t see that swerve coming.
-Oh, what do I know about the business anyway?
-Stephanie deserves her spot
-Ooops, I was wrong.
-James Caldwell really does have his finger on the pulse of wrestling
-Meltzer wouldn't know
-I love reading the Midnight News. Never miss it.
-I trust Vince’s vision for the long term.
-Samoa Joe needs to drop a few pounds.
-Inside Pulse is reporting...
-I like to read all the big sites to get a sense of what other people are thinking.
-I’d love to have sex with Trish Stratus just once
-I’d love to have sex with Torrie Wilson just once
-I’d love to have sex with Stacy Keibler just once
-I’d love to have sex just once
-I have a huge ego.
-I don’t know what I’m saying
-This column is about WRESTLING, not about getting myself over
-I hate my life
-The one wrestler who I feel is my moral duty to expose as a hard core drug abuser who needs major help is named....
And there you go.
THE IMPACT MOP-UP
I know, I know... haven't done one of these in weeks. I don't watch the show much... I'm either drunk or getting some... leave me alone.
Here, I'll close things out with an extra special, extra LOOOONG segment from a coupole of years back which you probably have not seen, or have seen a while ago but could use a refresher. Plus someone asked for a replay. You'll get a kick out of it. I promise.
'STRO' MAN, 'STRO MAN
Amnyone remember The 'Stro? Formerly "The Maestro" in WCW? He had the Liberace gimmick? Of course you do...
Well, a few years ago, I was in a chat room with the Trish Stratus Imposter and a whole bunch of her fans when The 'Stro... screen name Toetotoewithstro came in and started being a douchebag. All he did was plug an appearence (this is to a chat room with maybe 15 people in it... and "Trish Stratus") and rag on me... in order to IMPRESS "Trish Stratus". I didn't respond because I was... I'm pretty sure I was only half paying attention because I was doing something else (this was two years ago), but after he left I went over what he said and got pretty angry. Boy was picking on me to impress a screen name.
Then he came back... and he had my FULL attention.
The following is the transcript. I heavily edited out the unneccessary parts. It's quite long, but a lot of people liked it the first time I ran it... and it HAS been a while... and the full text is buried, VERY buried in the 411 wrestling forums... so here it is again. There are only three or four names left in after myself (Hyatte1com), The 'Stro, and "Stratus" (TRISH), but believe me, it was a packed chat...
So, he left, I learned what went down and got angry, then he came back again, thinking he had me dead to rights... thinking I was his BITCH, I taught him a valuable lesson... enjoy:
(9:52:30 PM) Toetotoewithstro has entered the room.
MickXII (9:52:49 PM): Hey Stro, welcome back bud
Hyatte1com (9:52:53 PM): when he enters everyone start yelling SYMPHONY!!! whoops, too late
TRISH (9:53:02 PM): Hi Rob!
TRISH (9:53:10 PM): Welcome back
Toetotoewithstro (9:53:17 PM): lol someone needs to update hyatte to 2004
Hyatte1com (9:53:41 PM): I'll be at Burger King in Warwick RI July the 6th... be there!
Toetotoewithstro (9:53:42 PM): gee thanks TRISH
TRISH (9:53:44 PM): yeah Hyatte get with it
Hyatte1com (9:53:56 PM): Well gee
Hyatte1com (9:54:26 PM): people still go up to Hillbilly Jim and yell, "Don't go messin with a country boy!" and HE doesn't get all snooty
Toetotoewithstro (9:54:26 PM): so whats up everyone
Toetotoewithstro (9:56:13 PM): this room is a trip
Toetotoewithstro (9:57:46 PM): what do u get when you get kane and goldberg and put them together?
MickXII (9:57:48 PM): Sadly that was more entertaining than the past 3 months of WWE television
Hyatte1com (9:57:55 PM): a Stro job-Out?
Hyatte1com (9:58:07 PM): BAZOOM
Toetotoewithstro (9:58:11 PM): Umm no
Toetotoewithstro (9:58:26 PM): hyatte go see missy she wants her name back
TRISH (9:58:31 PM): lol
TRISH (9:58:38 PM): good one
Toetotoewithstro (9:58:49 PM): the answer is a half shaved ass
Toetotoewithstro (9:58:52 PM): lol
MonAlisAmAn84 (9:59:00 PM): lol
TRISH (9:59:25 PM): hyatte got owned
TRISH (9:59:33 PM): he stole missys name
Toetotoewithstro (10:00:49 PM): Hyatte's ring song is llcool J's "ROundaway girl"
MickXII (10:00:56 PM): Ahahaha
TRISH (10:01:00 PM): HAHA
Hyatte1com (10:02:03 PM): irony being, the Stro's theme sone is ALSO from LL Cool Jay.. "Please give me a comeback, I haven't worked in years!".
TRISH (10:02:21 PM): Ooohhhhh
Toetotoewithstro (10:03:26 PM): in the words of toby keith. to hyatte... " whos your dadddddy!"
Toetotoewithstro (10:03:27 PM): lol
Toetotoewithstro (10:04:16 PM): Hyatte has "the lips that dont miss"
Hyatte1com (10:04:18 PM): Vinnie Mac tried me out (HUH), then I bombed out (HUH, I work at the Job lot (HUH) my landlord's gonna evict me out (HUH)
Toetotoewithstro (10:05:04 PM): Hyatte Lips and Slim Anus ..otherwise known as the crack patrol
Hyatte1com (10:06:05 PM): MOMMA GONNA THROW ME OUT (HUH) I'MMA 35 YEAR OLD WASHOUT (HUH), MY WHORES SMELL LIKE STALE TROUT (HUH)
Hyatte1com (10:08:12 PM): wrestling blaze this sunday in surgargrove west viginia... Stro's parking the cars!
Toetotoewithstro (10:08:39 PM): yes.. i park my own cars in my house genuis..lol
Toetotoewithstro (10:08:40 PM): yeesh
Hyatte1com (10:09:26 PM): So...wrestling blaze this sunday in surgargrove west viginia
Hyatte1com (10:09:32 PM): is your own house?
Hyatte1com (10:09:49 PM): oh no, Stro's reduced to Backyard wrestling?
Toetotoewithstro (10:10:03 PM): umm i dont think so Hyatte
Hyatte1com (10:10:20 PM): you just said you're parking cars in your own house
AWLurch (10:10:32 PM): lol
Toetotoewithstro (10:10:34 PM): yes,,, my own cars..lol.. read carefully
Hyatte1com (10:10:36 PM): which is where wrestling blaze this sunday in surgargrove west viginia
Hyatte1com (10:10:38 PM): is
Hyatte1com (10:10:48 PM): thus, Backyard wrestling
MickXII (10:11:07 PM): When he's tired of playing Backyard Wrestling for PS2, he pops in some Grand Theft Auto and parks cars
Hyatte1com (10:11:47 PM): Stro's Backyard Wrestling Fed wrestling blaze this sunday in surgargrove west viginia
Hyatte1com (10:12:01 PM): where he'll park your cars for a small fee
Hyatte1com (10:12:04 PM): and lunch
Toetotoewithstro (10:12:19 PM): im sure the promoter would appreciate your comments.. as would bobby blaze hyatte
Hyatte1com (10:12:52 PM): the promoter would appreciate any promotion... you know how hard it is getting Backyard feds promoted
TRISH (10:13:10 PM): Stro do you do backyard wrestling?
Toetotoewithstro (10:13:10 PM): some people go to school to do their living and get trained...
MickXII (10:13:27 PM): Be honest, Stro... it's a kid's birthday party, and "Bobby Blaze" is just the kid's dad. They didn't have anymore clowns that day so they called you. You agreed to put on the makeup and work the date
Hyatte1com (10:13:27 PM): and end up rasslin in their backyard!
Hyatte1com (10:13:35 PM): dear god, the injustice
Toetotoewithstro (10:13:49 PM): well thats classified as an appearance.
Hyatte1com (10:14:10 PM): Stro makes an appearence every Saturday when he mows his lawn!
Hyatte1com (10:14:22 PM): it's like running into Vince at Titan Towers!
TheUnknownQ (10:14:23 PM): Ha!
MickXII (10:14:29 PM): Not his lawn you mean
MickXII (10:14:51 PM): Bobby Blaze's
Toetotoewithstro (10:15:09 PM): ok cute jokes guys
Hyatte1com (10:15:27 PM): well, he borrows his neighbors lawn mower (he traded his own in for hair bleach)... but the neighbor gets a free cut AND tickets to the show, which he can see from his top floor window anyway, but it's the thought that counts
Toetotoewithstro (10:15:38 PM): hyatte get a clue would ya
Toetotoewithstro (10:16:49 PM): its called being a professional
Toetotoewithstro (10:16:52 PM): look it up sometime
Toetotoewithstro (10:17:07 PM): im out
TRISH (10:17:12 PM): bye rob
TheUnknownQ (10:17:16 PM): Later Stro
Hyatte1com (10:17:24 PM): Okay... I think Colonel Mustard did it in the Library with a candlestick!
Hyatte1com (10:17:28 PM): a clue!
TRISH (10:17:30 PM): lol
MickXII (10:17:35 PM): Unemployment line's already closed for the day Stro, might as well stick around
Hyatte1com (10:17:53 PM): Good luck Stro! don't shatter too many of your mom's lightbulbs this Sunday!
Hyatte1com (10:18:11 PM): those kooky backyard feds ALWAYS get crazy!
Toetotoewithstro (10:18:12 PM): ok this is gone far enough
Hyatte1com (10:18:30 PM): no, come on... a bit farther
Toetotoewithstro (10:18:31 PM): i dont appreciate the comments or the crap
TRISH (10:18:37 PM): Hyatte is very disrespectful.
Hyatte1com (10:18:48 PM): then apologize to me and it'll be all over
TheUnknownQ (10:19:18 PM): *sits back and pulls out some popcorn
Hyatte1com (10:19:20 PM): and I have'nt even mention your wrestling, Stro... so why bring up "crap"?
Toetotoewithstro (10:19:44 PM): well hyatte you dont know me nor do you know what i do for a living so knock it off
Hyatte1com (10:19:58 PM): You park cars
Hyatte1com (10:20:05 PM): we established that an hour ago
Toetotoewithstro (10:20:12 PM): no i dont
MickXII (10:20:21 PM): Hey I get it... Stro's doing his old "Crazy man" gimmick that he did in WCW
Hyatte1com (10:20:30 PM): YOU SAID YOU DID!!
Hyatte1com (10:20:54 PM): You said, "yeah, I park cars in my own house", then you "LOL'ed
Toetotoewithstro (10:21:22 PM): look im not in the mood for your ignorance.. goodnight all
(10:21:24 PM) Toetotoewithstro has left the room.
So then he left... but "Stratus" told me he was so riled by me that he JUST HAD TO COME BACK... and so we had:
(10:22:46 PM) Toetotoewithstro has entered the room.
Hyatte1com (10:22:51 PM): I think he's up for round two
Toetotoewithstro (10:22:59 PM): look hyatte
Hyatte1com (10:23:08 PM): Stro!! We were just not talking about you!
Hyatte1com (10:23:13 PM): as usual
Hyatte1com (10:23:18 PM): must be used to that!
Hyatte1com (10:23:25 PM): SYMPHONY!!!
Toetotoewithstro (10:23:32 PM): if you have even an clue as to how hard professional wrestlers work .. you would never say such asinine things
Hyatte1com (10:23:46 PM): I do have a clue
TRISH (10:23:55 PM): Hyatte has little respect.
Toetotoewithstro (10:24:04 PM): between travel, bumping in hard ass rings, dealing with political bs... etc.. its a tough damn job
Hyatte1com (10:24:07 PM): and from what I've seen, you haven't been working hard since WCW folded
Toetotoewithstro (10:24:37 PM): well some of us dont do as much tv as others... so dont be a mark
Hyatte1com (10:24:48 PM): I know Stro, I know... please keep Kevin Nash out of your Backyard Fed... he'll create total TURMOIL
Toetotoewithstro (10:24:57 PM): but that doesnt mean we dont bust our asses in other towns and countries for a living
Hyatte1com (10:25:03 PM): we?
Hyatte1com (10:26:22 PM): Stro... I'm now going to repeat what you just said, minus the interupting posts
Toetotoewithstro (10:26:59 PM): Honestly I dont really care what you do Hyatte but just have a little respect
Toetotoewithstro (10:27:50 PM): cause whether you realize it or not but the more you try to put yourself "over" making fun .. your making more of an ass out of yourself ok
Hyatte1com (10:28:19 PM): now, I do sympathize
Hyatte1com (10:28:39 PM): I mean, some of those sit-down mowers are real crappy when it comes to comfortable seating
Hyatte1com (10:29:05 PM): but I'm sure the good folks at Toro do NOT make mowers that bust asses
Hyatte1com (10:29:17 PM): even if you drive them all over the country, cutting lawns
Toetotoewithstro (10:29:46 PM): i mean... for the most part the internet and tha fans have been great to me on the net... but when you make those comments... you really need to think before you speak
TheUnknownQ (10:30:05 PM): Maybe Stro's next gimmick should be the Lawn Mower Man?
Hyatte1com (10:30:19 PM): holding up a sign that reads: "Will cut your lawn for the rights to run a Backyard fed on it"
Hyatte1com (10:30:43 PM): Oh I thought hard... I'm just very quick
Toetotoewithstro (10:30:59 PM): its calle dignorance
Toetotoewithstro (10:31:05 PM): ignorance
Hyatte1com (10:31:10 PM): dignorance
Hyatte1com (10:31:14 PM): new gimmick?
Toetotoewithstro (10:31:16 PM): sorry typo
Toetotoewithstro (10:31:40 PM): i mean i was invited in here to chat .. and you started in on me for no reason
Hyatte1com (10:31:43 PM): doesn't that suck when your lectured is ruined by chubby fingers?
Toetotoewithstro (10:31:51 PM): so that makes u ignorant
Hyatte1com (10:32:10 PM): the letter U is ignorant? That rat jap vowel BASTARD
Hyatte1com (10:32:30 PM): I always figured Z, Y, F, and G were shady... but U... I never suspected
Toetotoewithstro (10:32:47 PM): its enough Hyatte
Hyatte1com (10:33:06 PM): Stro... the Alphabet Detective! By God, RUN THAT GIMMICK!!
TRISH (10:33:12 PM): Enough is enough Hyatte
Toetotoewithstro (10:33:24 PM): this rambling is pointless
Hyatte1com (10:33:52 PM): so says the dude who yelled SYMPHONY for two hours straight
Hyatte1com (10:34:34 PM): you know what else is pointless? The letter U!!
Hyatte1com (10:34:41 PM): not a point to be found!
Hyatte1com (10:34:48 PM): damn that vowel
Hyatte1com (10:34:58 PM): that... open ended vowel
Hyatte1com (10:35:17 PM): U also stands for "Unemployed"
Hyatte1com (10:35:28 PM): which is why the Stro is such an expert on the vowel
Toetotoewithstro (10:35:41 PM): hope everyone here has a great week have to get back to work... you all be safe and have a great week (even u hyatte). GOD bless http://www.thestro.com
HeLLRaZa316 (10:35:44 PM): U stands for underachiever as well
TRISH (10:36:00 PM): nite stro
MickXII (10:36:08 PM): Night
Hyatte1com (10:36:25 PM): dont' forget... wrestling blaze this sunday in surgargrove west viginia
Hyatte1com (10:36:48 PM): cut lawns, valet parking, and CHAIRSHOTS!!
(10:36:55 PM) Toetotoewithstro has left the room.
And he never came back.
The VERY NEXT DAY he IMmed me with the AMAZING excuse that someone had "hacked" into his AIM account and went online as him... so I wasn't fighting with him AT ALL... I was fighting someone who JUST HAD TO pretend to be "The Stro" online. I laughed at him. No, I didn't "LOL"... I physically laughed in front of my computer and told him so. He logged off and I never heard from him again.
Heh... this is why people really never fuck with me. This is why people are scared of me. (It's true... as silly as it sounds)
Anyway, I'll be here next week and I will ATTEMPT a double Mop-Up of Saturday Night's Main Event AND Impact... key word is "attempt".
Hell, be lucky if I show up at all.
What number am I at? Oh, right...
This is Hyatte