And now...finally.....the moment IVE been waiting for......and being pretty much the loudest Bischoff critic on the Net....this was probably expected of me....
Eric Bischoff is gone....gone from anything other a peripheral participator.from WCW practices. Its all over...hes history....adios....c-YA!!!
Was it deserved? Betcha ASS!!!!
Was it fair? Betcha ASS!!!!
Was it necessary? BETCHA F-ING ASS!!!
As SOON as it was announced....pretty much ALL the "serious" Internet folks (Ryder and Scherer specifically) implored us to remember the GOOD he did.....Madden too. Before we all stomp our feet and slap palms...please remember that Bischoff did many, many a good thing....
Okay..lets get this over with...because I DO want to be fair to the WCW fans who maybe DID appreciate what Eric did....allow me to pay a complement to what he DID accomplish in a creative sense.....
2) He went to Mexico and Japan, and felt that lightening quick Luchadors and Cruiserweights would play on American TV.
3) He threw an obscene amount of money at anyone in Titan whos contract was up and brought them in.
4) He stole an angle created in Japan about wrestlers from a rival company "taking over" and brought it over here. Thus, the NWO became the most popular stable in History.
5) He successfully turned a lame Austin wannabe into a legitimate sensation. Using tactics that were borderline insulting.
5 things....thats all Im giving him. Hogan turning heel? No F-ing WAY Eric gets credit for that. Hogan doesnt do ANYTHING he doesnt want to.....PERIOD.
So, Eric gets kudos for those 5 things.....BRAVO MR. BISCHOFF!!!! BRAVO!!!!!
Now.....you piece of rat CRAP....I have a few things to thank you for....like I said..its already been done by some Pillow biting wannabe non-entity....but its MY bit and Im re-taking it.
So, my dear Uncle Eric....although there is no longer any NEED for you to read this...
-Thank you for those teeth.....those friggin teeth that got whiter and whiter every single cocky week you were on top.
-Thank you for putting your flabby, pasty ass in the ring....forcing us to swallow the idea that you were a legit tough guy.
-Thank you for the first "NWO Souled Out"...which was $30 wasted away watching you jam your tongue down a fat girls throat....and 2 hours, 15 minutes of the worse booked crap Ive ever seen.
-Thank you for those frequent dropping and re-starting angles months after they were either cultivated or dropped. Every week nobody knew what the hell was going on.
-Thank you for ruining the rematch of the century
-Thank you for ruining the Flair comeback
-Thank you for ruining the Horsemen
-Thank you for humiliating Arn Anderson TWICE by letting Kevin Nash impersonate him without retaliation.
-Thank you for almost ruining Flair emotionally, professionally, and financially. Thank God Flair was able to ride it out and retain his dignity.
-Thank you for taking Ted DiBiase...a true worker and seasoned professional...off camera so YOU could get the limelight.
-Thank you for GLACIER
-Thank you for RODMAN
-Thank you for RODMAN: Year Two
-Thank you for RODMAN: Year Three
-Thank you for MALONE
-THANK YOU FOR LENO
-Thank you for MASTER P
-Thank you for CHUCKY
-Thank you for your sons Karate Instructor
-Thank you for month after month of uninspired PPVs which totally wasted our time and money
-Thank you for your lame ass try to start your own catchphrase...."Bite Me". Howd those t-shirt sell Eric?
-Thank you for spending an entire half of a three hour Nitro turning it into the "NWO Nitro" we werent bored Eric..no..we LOVED watching those workers tear down the WCW sign.
-Thank you for deciding that Scott Hudson wasnt performing up to Tony Schiavones level of incompetence.
-Thank you for cutting off Heenans nuts.
-Thank you for doing nothing with Bret Hart.
-Thank you for the time Brian Pillman showed up...you stormed out of the announce booth...ordered him out of the building..then sat back down and ignored what just happened. Great way to treat the viewers.
-Thank you for keeping Piper employed. Old school fans certainly dont get depressed watching what passes for his "act" now.
-Thank you for making Nitro 3 hours....thus making it sometimes frequently unwatchable.
-Thank you for beating up those three lawyers single handily...totally believable
-Thank you for trying to make us watch "Robin Hood" by hyping a 5 minute Hogan/Giant match during the commercials
-Thank you for the WEEKS where Nitro became a giant infomercial for "Assault on Devils Island" on TNT (Home of the New Classics)
-Thank you for keeping Sting in the rafters for EIGHTEEN MONTHS!!!!
-Thank you for having no clue what to do with Sting after bringing him down from the rafters.
-Thank you for the endless, endless weeks where Hogan would spraypaint someone, then call himself God.
-Thank you for ruining the WarGames...maybe the best damned gimmick EVER
-Thank you for Hammer
-Thank you for DJ Ran
-Thank you for all those musical acts
-Thank you for RIKKI RACHTMAN....and not encouraging him to do
-Thank you for humiliating the Sandman by making him sell your toughness
-Thank you for moving the "NWO Nightcap" to the first hour..so we couldnt abandon it
-Thank you for bringing Jason Hervey back into our lives.
-Thank you for deciding that Austin was unmarketable
-Thank you for giving up on Waltman and Jericho
-Thank you for making it clear that youd rather produce movies than wrestling.
-Thank you for producing "Real Reasons Men Commit Crimes"
-Thank you for giving me reams and reams and REAMS of material.
-Thank you for having NO sense of foresight whatsoever
-Thank you for those sweetheart deals with all the big names so they can make up their own booking and blow off Thunder. Now the House shows are a regular horror show and nobody has to job if they dont want to...except Flair of course.
-Thank you for proving that you were good for a couple of ideas...and that was it.
-Thank you Eric.
You can die now...knowing full well that you had it ALL....you had Vince McMahon as close to ruin as you can possibly get. But he slowly climbed back up and took your ass OUT. Basically, you lit a fire under his ass and he responded.....he lit a fire under YOUR ass and you burned right out. Thats the difference between you two.
You wasted our time on more occasions than I can possibly calculate. It got so bad that even a half decent Nitro was a genuine treat to watch.
Now your gone....maybe Nitro will now offer up a real battle for the remote controls.
Now Nitro might become exciting again. They are off to a good start and I am rooting for them.
Why? BECAUSE YOURE NOT A PART OF IT!!!!!!!!
I never liked your arrogant ass....not since day one
Youre a scam...youre a game show host. Youre Wink Martindale Jr.
And you can eat me.
This is Hyatte
and Im BACK